Plinky Prompt: Your Worst Quality?

  • DePhoMo 6: Black and white

    DePhoMo 6: Black and white (Photo credit: AnneCN)

    What is your worst quality? See all answers

  • Flawed
  • “TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SENSITIVE.” have been since I was a child. no thick skin on this one. take things personally and have worked hard to de-program myself. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. I struggle with it all the time. I do have incredible insight intuitively I am spot on with others, when it comes to myself I get swayed. my emotions come into play and so do my insecurities. I’ve learned to sit back and try to be calm, and look at a problem objectively but it is really hard. sometimes when family calls you “over-sensitive” it’s NOT about YOU, it’s about THEM not understanding. I’ve learned that over many, many years. It takes time. a lot of time. But once you “get it” it’s a special gift. and no, you are not over-sensitive, you ARE sensitive to other people which is a gift, use it as such. anyone who does not understand that should not be in your life.

  • Credit to the Photographer, no rights to me.
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Plinky Prompt-3 Things You Love About Yourself

  • Tell us three things that you absolutely love about yourself. See all answers
    • Just Call Me June Cleaver
    • Leave It To Beaver 1959 This is so much harder than writing 3 things I hate about myself but here we go:!) I’m sensitive to others

      2) I’m perceptive and pick up on others feelings, body language, mood

      3) Very empathic

      All these help in being a good mom, wife and family member and friend.

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Carry On Tuesday: When As A Child I Laughed And Wept

Little Girl Feet

Little Girl Feet (Photo credit: mtsofan)

As a child I laughed and wept, but nobody heard me. I lived in my own world of stuffed animals and dolls and they were my friends. Once, when I was about five years old, my mother, from another room, asked me who I was talking to, I replied ” my friend.” There was not another child in the house.

My mother said I “could always occupy myself” unlike my older sister who always had to be entertained. “Play with me” she would whine to our mother and so my mother would play with her. Was it out of default that I didn’t even try or was I really happy in my own little world? I can’t say for sure but I think it was a combination of both. I’d wager a guess that I was never big on competing,  sure I would fail. My confidence level was always low; a loving gift from my mother. I knew she never meant to give me low expectations but her fear and worry overwhelmed her and so she thought she was protecting me when in fact she was holding me back, making stress and anxiety my constant companions.

At night, every night, my father would sit at my bedside and I would ask him the same series of questions. Would anyone go to the hospital? Would there be a fire? Would the birds come? (We had bats once) Will the boys come (My sister once had rowdy boys come on Halloween, banging on the door relentlessly and I was terrified) and a few more I don’t remember anymore. It was a ritual, a scared girl, needing momentary comfort every night, while the orange light from the hall beamed.

When I was told that my mother had to go to the hospital for a hysterectomy I remember sobbing that night when I asked my father the questions. I told him that the answer to the hospital question would be “yes” and I was inconsolable. The order of the routine was changed, the answer to one of the danger questions was wrong and I was filled with fear and doubt.

I never wanted to try anything new, I was scared and I always made excuses to get out of doing new things, fear held me in it’s vise-like grip until I could only choke-out syllables of lies. It was a long time before I could be honest and the first time I was honest was with my sister, on the telephone and it was such a relief. She told me step by step what to do and how to get to her house by subway and I got there, for the first time in many years feeling brave. What gave me the strength to tell her then, with my mother on the other line, I have no idea. Maybe I was just sick of being sick and holding all my fear inside me.

Eventually, I became more and more honest with people, telling them my fears or my utter lack of sense of direction. I felt safer in the world by becoming stronger as a person. It was okay to have shortcomings because apparently everybody did; I wasn’t the only person that was weak, everyone was weak in some way, I just didn’t know it. Now, I consider myself a very strong person, realizing my strengths way before my weaknesses and yet having weaknesses made me sensitive to others and to how they feel. I can read someone’s feelings just by looking at their face, I can see what someone is feeling instinctively, whether they are ready to acknowledge it or not.

I get messages from the deceased, I have a sixth sense, I knew that when I was in third grade, learning it as I walked down a street in my home town. My parents always called me “over-sensitive” as if I were to blame for feeling hurt, the truth of the matter was yes, I was sensitive, but looking back, they were not.

Shifty-Eyed Evader or Unblinking Intimidator?

eye 172/365

Image by attila acs via Flickr

I See Your Soul

No Shifty-Eyed Evader here and while I don’t think I am an Unblinking Intimidator I am definitely much closer on that scale. I’d give myself at least an 85 percent of looking into people’s souls through their eyes, maybe 100 percent. If you are a Shifty-Eyed Evader, I won’t stay long enough to make eye contact. Eyes are so important to me. Shifty-Eyed Evader? You don’t stand a chance with me. I read a lot from people’s eyes, I am intuitive and I get a sense of who you are FROM your eyes. If you don’t look directly at me? I will be gone faster than you can even blink, shifty-eyed or not.

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My Pet

Eye of a Border collie puppy

Image via Wikipedia

I <3 My Dog Callie

Her name is Callie and I rescued her from an animal shelter nine years ago. She and her sister, 6 week old puppies were returned from a mean old man who took both of them for ONE WEEK and then returned them to the shelter because “they were too much trouble.” I guess I should be grateful to this guy because after all, that’s how Callie, my dog and I, met.

I was seated on the floor of the animal shelter when the woman in charge of the shelter put two puppies down on the floor with me. One was off eating electrical wires, the other one climbed into my lap and never left. I wanted to bring both the dogs home but my husband put his foot down on that idea. I couldn’t help myself, the little puppy that sighed after she snuggled into my lap was my dog forever. I’m sure her sister was a much braver dog, she probably goes for rides in cars and likes to explore things. My dog is happiest curled up next to me on the bed. She’s sensitive and intuitive. The other night I was sad and I was crying. Callie came on the bed and stood in front of me, licking my tears, kissing my face. I put my arms around her now gray and white neck and gave her a hug and we stayed like that for what seemed to be a long time. When I felt better, it looked as if she was smiling at me as she hopped down from the bed to happily lap up some water and go downstairs.

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If You Could Read Minds, For A Day, Would You? (Plinky Prompt)

The Crystal Ball

Image via Wikipedia

  • If I Could Read Minds
  • When you say “hello” I know how you are feeling….
  • I would definitely read minds, but not to freak you out, I have a small amount of that ability already. I didn’t ask for it or train for it but I have always been super intuitive. I sense things, feel things, when others don’t. I have learned not to be scared of it, not to be proud of it but just to accept it and honor it. I have always been a very sensitive person (sometimes it’s a gift, other times it’s a curse) even when I was a child.
    I’d want to know if people were true to themselves, are they lying even when they are complimenting me? Are they truly kind or do they just want recognition. Truth and honesty hold a lot of weight with me; maybe because I am a Libra; always a Libra no matter what that new horoscope alignment says.
    There are times when a blink of an eye conveys a message to me, often I can feel and understand what is not said in a conversation. Sometimes, when I call people and they answer the phone with a simple “hello?” I will say “what’s the matter?” I’m not always right and since I am so sensitive I can read more into something that is there. But, I’m right WAY more than I am wrong. The only exception, I am not good with certain things when it comes to myself because my own anxieties or emotions overwhelm me and I am not objective. That’s when I need my sister or one of my two best friends to listen to me and separate the anxiety away from the reality.
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