“Eat, Pray, Love” Or Don’t Love In My Case

I’m a book kind of girl. I read a lot of books, buy a lot of books, borrow and lend a lot of books. That’s why I always say to myself, once you’ve read the book, DO NOT see the movie. I say it, I mean it, I don’t listen to myself and I regret it. So, in my opinion the title of this movie should be “Eat, Pray, Don’t Love. That’s how I felt after seeing “Eat, Pray, Love” based on the book by Elizabeth Gilbert. WHY didn’t I listen to myself?  Because I think I know myself better than I really do; and I am usually wrong. So, once again, I am saying visualize on your own, don’t see the movie afterwards, it ruins the images you have.

The movie started with Julia Roberts’  luminous face, all toothy grin and natural beauty. She’s a great actress but a little too showy, too pretty and shiny for this movie.  Light softly silhouettes her face, there is beautiful scenery which of course showcases again the light of Julia’s pretty face. She’s beautiful even when she is supposed to be an emotional wreck. I wanted more authenticity instead of Julia Roberts playing Pretty Woman Now Middle-Aged. It was Julia Roberts on Julia Roberts, in just about every scene.

Another thing for us real women; if i had gone to Italy for a month of carbs and conversation I would have gained 30 lbs. and would have worn sweat pants instead of the teeny-tiny jeans she was wearing before and after in the film. If you are going to love your pizza, and your pasta, your wine, bread etc. keep it real. Most women don’t giggle lying down in a fitting room buying only the tiniest of jeans. Yes, we’ve all done the zipper trick  at home, on our beds, alone, but most of us would show we have gained weight, which is how real life is. Embrace your body? Not with those size 0 or 2 or 4 jeans, not even close.

The other incredibly annoying thing about the movie, which I found totally inappropriate, was the sound track. As soon as I heard the first song, my mouth was wide open, aghast. I’m sure the songs themselves will be hits but they just didn’t belong to the movie. Did Elizabeth Gilbert hear those songs in her mind? Somehow, I doubt it.

Pretty woman, you’re still pretty, and beautiful  but you’re amazingly privileged in the movie. I know a lot of people who go through marital troubles and they don’t get paid a nice salary for taking off time and traveling abroad. I understand the chaos you went through, I ‘m just not buying Julia Roberts feeling it.

In My Opinion…The GAP

I am a normal, average size woman. Not the normal, average size woman of the size 0 model claim to fame but the universal, real, curvy women of the world. I walked into the GAP this morning looking for a couple of shirts for the fall. The Gap used to be my one stop shopping place to go. Long-sleeved Tee shirts in all colors, I remember looking at the pretty hues, pink, red, blue, light blue, green used to make me happy.  Apparently, I have not been to The Gap in a really long time.

When I walked in I was greeted by racks of  Skinny Jeans and Skinnier jeans. My arm couldn’t fit in those pant legs, I’m quite  sure. What size were they? Oh, two. Two? What REAL woman wears a two? Not those of us who live in the world that I live in. I’m quite sure the universal average size is a fourteen not a two.  I asked the salesman who worked there where the long tee shirts were and he showed me. Here is the color selection he pointed to: black, white, gray.  “What happened to all the beautiful colors you used to have?” I asked sweetly. “We don’t do that anymore, we just have the basics.” You know what? Even the basics were so thin I wouldn’t wear them in the fall, much less the winter.  The Gap, as I knew it, was gone. No long- sleeved shirts other than the “basics?”  “Look on-line” he droned and left.

Now the jeans have become leggings or jeggings or deggings, not sure what they are truly called but they are a combination of leggings and denim. That’s certainly an appropriate look for those of us who are older in age, seasoned, experienced; lovely, mature, beautiful women of the world.

The shoes they sold were all tiny and scrunchy and looked like they couldn’t take a hard pounding on the pavement. The handbags were massive, with a button close, not good for those of us who are neurotic about having  handbag zipper protection. No different styles, just a few, dull, different colors.

I ‘ll say “Good-bye” to The Gap and search elsewhere. I know they are all under an umbrella company with sister, The Banana Republic but that’s too preppy for me. I am leaving The Gap family, and on my search for comfortable, bright grown-up clothes. So much for THAT shopping expedition. May all the size two’s make them rich, I wish them well.

The GAP is a registered trademark of The Gap, don’t sue me, it’s just my opinion.