Unemployment Stinks

My husband was “officially” laid off today. It’s not a new thing but once it’s definite, it hurts more. The road from Full-Time to Part-Time doesn’t nearly affect you as much as going from Part-Time to NO TIME.  No Time. This definitely gives me a stomach ache but I’m TRYING to keep it in perspective. Not easy. We have two kids in High School,  a mortgage, the usual–not more interesting than thousands and thousands of other people. I’ve always felt for all the other people, now I feel with them. Not much to make you smile. My sense of humor is nowhere to be found.

Oh, and my mother wrote me an incredibly NASTY e-mail about how “she didn’t appreciate the tone in my e-mail, all in caps). For those who are new to this: see the Mouse drama.

In all honesty, I think I’ve been a much better daughter to her than she’s been a mother to me. (Am I even allowed to think this?)  It’s true though but at the moment I can’t bear to dig into the past, we’ll leave that for another time.

I’m trying to be encouraging (realistic though) about my husband’s job for his sake. The worst for me was seeing the defeat in his eyes when the news became official this morning. The 50’s- what golden years? Many people I know have cancer or other horrible illnesses, people (me included) are anxious, sad, nervous and afraid. How could we not be?  There are horrible people in this world doing horrendous things. I sat in total disbelief as I watched the tragedy unfold in Teas yesterday. I don’t understand.  I will never understand certain things.

What I do know is Mothering.  I am a good mother to my children, not only do I love them, I ADORE and LIKE THEM too. Goals in life? Mine was always to be a mother. It took me 2 and a half years of painful infertility treatments to become pregnant with my first child, my son. I appreciated every moment I was pregnant, I was joyful, and when my daughter came along I was equally as thrilled.  I am not Pollyanna. Sure, I get frustrated with my two teenagers. Isn’t that part of the teenage doctrine? When I was a teenager I was taking care of my own parents and sister. Now, laid up in bed with my torn ligament, my own mother doesn’t even bring over chicken soup, or an American cheese sandwich, or flowers.  She always taught us not to ask people if they are hungry, but to bring things out and give to them. Apparently, a lesson learned by me but not carried out by her. I have a difficult relationship with my mother; it was my dad who always understood me. It’s been 8 years and not a day goes by that I don’t think about him or grieve for him. Time heals all? No, not really. TIme takes away the intensity. That deep, open, raw wound does get better with time but it never goes away. Never.  I’ll write more later. Hopefully the Halloween candy  is not in the house anymore, because that could be dangerous. Life goes on and we with it, but it’s not always fun, it”s often sad and complicated. I have that feeling in my stomach where I know I could cry easily, sob, maybe. But, I will wait until my husband is on the train. I don’t want to add to his burden. He is such a sweet guy.  As the teenagers say: this bites. They are so right.

2 thoughts on “Unemployment Stinks

  1. What a week this has been! I had many friends lose jobs this week. I am so so sorry to hear about your husband. I will pray for him. My husband has been out of work for awhile now, but he’s actually been taking care of the house and the kids and, well… ME. It’s a difficult thing as I’m the sole income, but at the same time, he is better at running the house than I am. I’d like to give it a try sometime, but I’m not sure it’s in the cards. I have worked full time since i was in high school. I don’t have the energy to work full time and run a house. But enough about me.

    I feel like I pressured you into being funny… no pressure. I just really enjoy reading your blogs, funny or not. Your honesty is so refreshing. I thought about you yesterday. I was watching Oprah and she had the semi-finalists on for her karaoke contest. One of the singers was from San Jose and she is a friend of my husband… he ended up being in one of the still shots that was shown on t.v. – his 2 seconds of fame! I thought you’d get a kick out of that.

    Life sure does have its ups and downs. For some reason these years are tough for a lot of people, in health and finances… I’m sure there is something “WE” are not getting… maybe we are waiting for Oprah to tell us!

    As for your relationship with your mom, I think you “didn’t” say it. You have your priorities right where they need to be. And that’s with your family. Whatever she didn’t do? She did bring you up to be a GREAT mother, wife and I must say… writer! The mother-daughter relationship is always full of angst. There is always that “need for I’m right and you’re wrong” thing… and then the guilt. Just, and I’m talking to myself too here… let’s not fall into the trap. For now… focus on your family.

    It’s good to cry. It’s cathartic and if you don’t, you will end up in pain. That would not be good. If you are going to do that… hell eat the bag of candy!

    If you are religious… give your worries over to God, he will carry your burden. If you are not, I apologize if I have just offended you. The best thing is… you have your dad on your shoulder watching over you.

    I’ll be thinking of you… take a deep breath.

    Check out this web site, this is a great exercise for relaxation that I got from one of the ladies on twitter: http://www.fibrohaven.com/2009/11/04/relaxation-technique-for-pain-control/

    Here’s another one that might be helpful: http://tranquillityhub.com/self-improvement-personal-development/ways-calm-happy

    Hang in there… you will get through this, you have the support of your family and friends!!


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