Who We Really Are

Can you really separate the person from their actions? Should we judge a person by what they do and not who they are? Do actions define who we are?  Can you not delineate the different sides of one person. For example: (not Tiger Woods….YET)  What about Michael Jackson?  People were trying to  categorize him in one of two ways, a brilliant performer or a perverted weirdo. What was he? In my opinion, he was both.  He was an amazingly skilled artist, an incredible dancer, singer, song-writer and he made a huge contribution to the  music world as a performer and to the world of Pop.  On the other hand, we was accused several times of pedophilia, dangled his baby outside of a window for fun, lived with a chimp, had boys sleep over and share his bed and lived in Neverland. Who was he? He was both.

Bill Clinton, in my opinion, was an absolutely wonderful President and leader. He was unbelievably smart, (still is) a fabulous presence, a great contributor to our nation and a wonderful negotiator. On the other hand, he was also charming to a fault sic Monica Lewinsky, lied during office, and raised philandering to practically an art form. I have run into President Clinton a few times and just a look or a smile or  a one word greeting, personally, made me melt. The guy has the most charisma of any person I have ever met. Face it. He does. When my son made me drive around the supermarket parking lot so he could say Hi to the President, the President was as gracious to my son, kind and personable, and treated my son with warmth and sincerity as if he had been at his birth and every birthday party thereafter. Bill Clinton makes every one he talks to feel special. It works.

And of course, Tiger Woods. An amazing athlete, a role-model,  a “family guy” the world thought he had it all. He did, and more. Now all people are talking about are his torrid love/sex affairs with a plethora of women. His image has been shattered as the guy everyone looked up to came speeding down, down, and down. But, should it have been? Is it his fault, or is it ours?s

Maybe our standards are too high. Maybe we shouldn’t blend athletes, political officials, and “the rich and famous” with their personal lives. Maybe we should? I,like everyone else, question these things every day. And, are the “celebrities” entitled to their home life or does public knowledge come with the territory of their fame?

I know one thing,  people are not one sided.  We all have multiple sides to us, we are not one dimensional. The public thrives on the failings of their “heroes.”  But why? None of us is just one thing. No one is just made up of one emotion, one habit, one skill; It’s an ongoing struggle.  The truth of the matter is that we are all flawed, all imperfect and all of us have sides of us that we don’t think are particularly attractive.  We all have our good points and our bad.  Do I judge Susan Boyle on her voice? Of course. She is an incredibly gifted woman with the voice of an angel.  Do I care that she comes across as a bit unstable? Not at all. But, she doesn’t have to pick one over the other. She may be both and a whole lot more.

I think it’s okay to question, it’s ok to struggle with answers but not necessarily okay to judge. What we all have in common, us mortal human beings is that every one of us is not just one thing. We are many things, good, evil, smart and stupid. I think I am a good mom but I am lousy with bowling (ok, with all sports) does that make me less of a mother? No, it makes me a good mother with no athletic abilities whatsoever.  So, who are we to judge?  We have all made mistakes, we have all floundered and questioned and contradicted ourselves. We are loving and good and king and we are also critical, judgmental and sometimes, evil. What it comes down to really, is that all we really are is human.

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