There are many moments in our everyday life that we forget about. That’s not good. I know we are all looking for good days and good months but sometimes if you remember a special moment it makes all the difference.
Yesterday and today I feared that I had “writer’s block” after a fight I had with my mother. Writer’s block? Me? Giving it a title just made it worse because one tends to repeat it over and over again in one’s head. I stopped worrying about it and assumed it would go away soon.
My son, Tim, this morning went to buy bagels and cream cheese (vegetable tofutti in my case) for the 3 of us. Jillian, still sleeping, has a bagel with butter to look forward to when she wakes up. And when Tim sat in my room and we talked it made me feel happy, connected, delighted. It REALLY doesn’t take much to make me happy, I’ve always been happy with the little things. In this case it was about 8 minutes of talking with my son before he starts his incredibly busy day.
He volunteers for CVAC (Chappaqua Volunteer Ambulance Corps) and he is on call today. Sometimes I wish his pager would go off because I see the look on his face when he does get a call and it is a thing of beauty: strength, altruism, hope, diligence and the ultimate desire to help people in trouble. (In case he reads this I apologize for the word “beauty.”)
I cherish the moments with my children, I really do. Last night Jillian and I watched “One Tree Hill” that we bought on iTunes, amongst the guffawing and ridiculing from Dan and Tim. I don’t care, she and I love watching the show together and I see things from her world and it’s time, albeit with a tv show, that we spend together. Sometimes, since she knows I am an absolute baby with scary things, she will pause the video to fill me in. That’s sweet and thoughtful and I really appreciate it.
My husband, kindest man on earth, is on his way to pick up our dog from the grandparents. In preparation, Dan put out a sheet to cover the bed, because he knows I love Callie on the bed. This is a sweet, loving man. He hates having the dog on the bed and I love it; we have learned to compromise.
I am blessed for my family, not the everyday occurences, the bickering, the occasional shouting. I try not to focus or dwell on those. That happens in every family, especially a family that has two teenagers, 21 months apart. This year, I will keep making lists of the special moments that I have with my family, with my friends and will appreciate them more, instead of complaining that they are happening less. Here’s to 2010, for cherishing what we have and accepting peacefully what we don’t. Cheers!