Walnuts with the scent of jasmine

1/06/10

She took a sip of coffee from the Starbucks cup she was holding in her left hand. Her red, raw hands embraced the hot coffee cup tightly,  even with it’s spelled out admonition that the “beverage may be hot.”  In her right hand she held another cup of coffee for a  friend, a friend  and by mistake she took a sip out of that one too, leaving a dull lipstick stain which she hurriedly wiped away.  Girl crush energy.

The air was filled with the scent of walnuts and jasmine and the snow was fresh, virgin white; the sky overhead looked like a a mass of robin’s eggs stitched together, an intense baby blue. There was something about having a crush that just meant the difference between having a good day and having a boring day. There was no sex involved, no THINKING about sex involved. It’s just what girls/women do sometimes; they have girl crushes.

I have come to understand that boys/men do not really understand this concept at all because they hear crush and think sex. Girl  crushes are NOT like that at all.  Maybe your girl crush as an amazing new handbag, or a lipstick the color of plum and rose; or maybe it’s just a brand new friend!  Or the potential for another new friend! New friends are like Christmas presents in July. Rare and unexpected. Crushes in all forms happen all the time and it is NOT a dirty thing. Crushes are not dangerous and they don’t mean affairs or sex.  They are meant for fun or flirtation or both.

I wish men could understand that. Most women do. Of course, there are the uptight kind of women that when you say you have a girl crush they think you are a lesbian. You are not. Tell the uptight people who feel this way to just  grow up. Crushes are not dangerous and they don’t mean affairs.  importantly they do not involve sex. Of course there will be people arguing saying emotional affairs are worse than sexual affairs but that is not at all what we are talking about here.

It’s a fantasy of friendship just like anything else. So, have your girl crush or boy crush or any crush at all. Just have a new crush. Any type of new crush because anything that can get you to smile a little sweeter is a good thing and besides, the winter is really dreary and long, dreary and long…….

3 thoughts on “Walnuts with the scent of jasmine

  1. Many historians have misunderstood this concept; they read women’s personal writings (diaries, letters) and misconstrue the feelings being expressed. Women often wrote of dear friends they “loved,” or feelings/emotions simular to those above (beautifully written by the way). Some historians ignored these relationships, others saw sexual undercurrents. Finally, social and women’s historians are taking these women’s words at face value — it’s not a code for an affair (requited or not), nor is it a strange 19th or earlier century phenomen [sic — can never spell that word].
    Hope you enjoyed your time at Starbucks! (virtual or real)!

    Like

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