Fibromyalgia and Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis #3

My mother wants me to go to another specialist; she doesn’t know what KIND of specialist.  She also thinks I should go to the Mayo Clinic. I don’t know why. What I do know is that I think SHE cannot accept a few limitations that I have even though I can. She says I am too young to feel this way, I am 53. Not 23.  I’m okay with the way I am but she isn’t. I think it’s a mother’s love that prevents her from accepting that I am less than perfect. I, too, would want my child too to be in optimal health but what I have is NOT LIFE-THREATENING and I am grateful for what I do have.

Before the start of my medical cocktails (Synthroid, Cymbalta, Plaquananel, Methotrexate  (and Lecouvirin Calcium to combat the side effects which by the way does NOT work at all) and mega doses of Vitamin D I could barely move, every part of my body ached and I couldn’t get out of my bed.

I still ache, my joints are stiff and I do get tired easily. I’m ok with that. My Guru Dr. said that I would never be a ten out of ten, but he wanted me at an eight or a nine. The best I can do, so far, is a 6. I can live with that. The Guru Dr. wants me to inject a number of drugs (Methotrexate, Enbrel) and I don’t want to. Just reading the side effects of Enbrel makes me nervous; it’s one serious, heavy-duty drug.

I honestly don’t know if I should take the chance and deal with the higher dosage of Methotrexate (self-injected) not to mention even contemplate for a minute the ever so scary sounding Enbrel. I will see my Guru Dr. sometime in March and I will do nothing different until then. Except, I am allowing my mom to come with us to my next appointment so she can hear from the Guru Dr. himself that where I am, is not a terribly bad place to be at all.

I think it all boils down to attitude.

5 thoughts on “Fibromyalgia and Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis #3

  1. I knew that bothered you. I think it’s because our lives are so different. I never married, have no kids so there’s a whole lot we don’t have in common. I didn’t mean it in any way that I would not want you as a friend, just unlikely that we would be friends. Sort under the “birds of a feather flock together.” You’re this suburban mom and I’m the single woman (what they used to call Old Maid) living in the city.

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    • you saying that “you knew it bothered me” bothers me much more than you take on what friendship is about. i don’t know about you but I don’t judge people or make impressions on whether people are married, single, gay, black etc. I’m friends with all different types of people. the people i try to avoid are the hurtful ones.

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  2. You are a stranger to me, and I came upon your blog by accident, well more accurately, by coincidence. I think about how we would probably not be friends in real life, but I really have come to admire you. I think you are fearless in your self-evaluation in a way that most people couldn’t approach. I think you are most poignant when you are talking about your children, now growing up and away. I think you really try to live an authentic life.

    Having said that, and admiring you the way I do, I get angry with how your mother treats you. Of course, you “deserved” the holiday away with your family and a healthy mom would understand that and encourage it.

    When I read that you’ve asked your mother to accompany you to the doctor next time, I question what you think is going to come of that plan. Have you ever heard this saying? The best indication of future behavior is past behavior.

    I think you are way too smart to believe that the doctor will tell your mother you’re doing well, and your mother will be appeased by it. Do you honestly believe that’s a possible outcome?

    Instead I think your mother will be a pill, will not understand and you’ll have wasted your time with a doctor you seem to like and respect and you and your mom can bicker all the way home. The appointment would have been about her when it should be about you. Why would you put yourself through that?

    I don’t know what blog etiquette is here. Part of me is telling me this is not any of my effing business, and it’s not, but you have put your thoughts out there and solicited comments. So here’s my comment.

    I so believe you could lift a weight off your shoulders by saying I’m a good mother, a good wife, a good person. I do the best I can and if my mother likes it, fine; if she doesn’t like it, fine. She is never going to be the warm cuddly accepting mom. Really, was she ever?

    The gift is that you can be that for your own children. You were mad/hurt when your son wanted to be with his friends but you accepted it, you didn’t keep harping on it. When you wrote that your mother brought up the trip again, I was like “let it go, lady!”

    Anyway, the Internet is indeed a strange and marvelolus place!

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    • well, i never heard that comment but it’s incredibly accurate. ouch. . hello, don’t know why we wouldn’t be friends necessarily in real life but I do so admire your candor. welcome to my world. you are ABSOLUTELY right about my mother. i thought a long time about finally, asking my mother to join us. don’t worry, I WILL BE EMAILING GURU DR. TO WARN HIM FIRST. i can’t even argue with you, maybe it was a mistake that she wore me down with her endless worrying. so, do I expect her to be different than usual? NO. she’s a damaged woman, had a hard life and this means the world to her so I am doing it for that reason and that reason alone. i like the things you said, so alwasy be honest. and always comment if you have a comment. i don’t believe in coincidences at all, but I do believe things happen for a definite reason. keep those comments coming!

      Laurie

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