Buying Yodels For My Family Is A Big Fat Lie

Yodels

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The year of tension and excitement and dread is upon us. We have a Junior in High School and  Senior in High School at the same time. I get mixed up when I write a check, is it for the PSAT? Senior dues?  Homecoming? Does my daughter have driver’s ed the same time she is babysitting twice a week or will that work out? Will my son and husband’s EMT class conflict with my son’s attention to applying for college? How will he get all his homework done? How will my daughter do all these things at the same time?

Our guidance counselor is on medical leave and I do feel bad for anyone who is sick. But, to my own chagrin when we heard the announcement my husband and I both thought: “What about our kids?” They are in their Junior and Senior year and they have no guidance counselor. It was totally selfish and somewhat unkind but it is reality.  I’m sure they will figure out things at the High School but becoming one of  “those parents” was totally disheartening and disturbing.  It wasn’t right, it wasn’t nice but it I admit it, it crossed our minds.

Tonight, we thought we had our son’s Senior essay all set (and since when do the parents have to do the work and write an essay?).  We wrote a beautiful, succinct paragraph that truly summed up his character and learning style. All was fine until I heard people wrote pages. Not one page but two or three, one parent wrote five. Granted, this is a bit much but I had the horrible feeling that we had done too little. So, after calling friends, taking polls and freaking out, I tried to expand his essay and elaborate so we will have at least another paragraph, two if they are small.

This added news sent me into a frenzy. I panicked, I stressed out and of course, I ate. I went straight to the kitchen where a lone pack of Yodels sat in their pretty white box with blue and orange trim. They were basically begging for me to eat them. What could I do?  I ripped that cellophane pack into shreds within two seconds, and ate them as I was climbing, with pain and soreness, upstairs to the bedroom. I literally stuffed them into my mouth. Sure, I ate them one at a time but I did not linger, I did not sit down leisurely and peel the chocolate, I just ate them.  I didn’t even ENJOY them. That, my friends is stressful eating. Next time I go grocery shopping, I cannot kid myself that buying the Yodels was an altruistic act for my children.

I can tell I am overwhelmed because my jaw has stiffened and my TMJ hurts. I am trying to relax but I can’t. There is so much going on now that I can’t even “breathe” myself down. If Yodels didn’t help, nothing will.  This is not good for my auto-immune disease or my fibromyalgia because I think the stress makes the symptoms worse. I am in pain and I am very tense and my body hurts in places it shouldn’t hurt. Even if I slow my body down, my mind (probably still from the aforementioned Prednisone) will not. I just can’t stay up much longer, I’m tired and need to sleep. For a person who never procrastinates I am thankful for one extra day. One last day to finish all the things left to do, retype the essay, clean the house, do laundry, go to pick up a prescription and most importantly, not eat Yodels.

3 thoughts on “Buying Yodels For My Family Is A Big Fat Lie

  1. PS: thanks for the visual of a yodel — there is a Canadian name for that delight, but it escapes me right now. Pretty much everything escapes me these days!
    Good luck with those college essays — it’s like you are writing the psats: subsitute parents for law, medicine, etc.! (Not sure exactly what the sats stand for: something like: standardized . . . some thing . . test . . .? We didn’t have sats in Canada for getting into college: at both times I went.

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  2. Unfortunately, I don’t think Yodels count as a food group. And, just what is a yodel? There is/was probably a similar product in the Canadian “Vachon cakes” line. The one I remember in particular was a white cake with a large dollop of carmel on the top, then “enrobed” in a chocolately coating. And there was another that was a thin layer of chocolate cake iced with vanilla icing, rolled up, and then chocolately coating applied. I use the term chocolately because we aren’t talking high grade dark chocolate here.
    Hope you found a paragraph or 2: but hey, maybe the college will look at your essay are say: if his mom can write that clearly and concisely, he might make a good candidate! It’s quality not quantity in all things: sweets and college entrance essays.

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