9 And A Half Minutes, Episode 1

"one second" exhibition

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Tick Tock, Tick Tock. Welcome to another edition of 9 and a half minutes. A place where I mention the things that annoy me. First up: SPAM. If you are going to send out this trash can’t you make the effort to spell “dear” CORRECTLY? It’s always misspelled and it’s in all  lower case letters :”hello deaer.” This bugs me. Not to mention that I get hundreds of junk mail every day and yes, I do, have a SPAM filter.  I am OCD about the amount the junk mail that I get so I need to check it and delete it frequently. It’s supposed to automatically delete in one month but that never happens. Every day I get the following suggestions: “buy drugs, enlargge your penis, veagra for womens, congradulations deaer, autimatic lottery winner”….just stop sending us this junk. Here’s my suggestion: ” go away, get losted, please, hun.”

Another thing that’s irritating is the call you get on a Sunday night from your favorite hairdresser, the one you found after years and years of searching. The one you trust implicitly. You finally find her and sure enough, one day you get “the call.” You know what it’s about, the minute you get the message “It’s Linda, from Tresses” on the phone. Deep in our hearts, women everywhere  know that the only reason your hairdresser is calling you at home at night is because she has fled her old job, stolen your chart and is working somewhere else. My dilemna: I love the way she does my hair but she has joined a salon that I fervently despise. It’s not the end of the world and yes, a mere annoyance but these things add up.

It has been a horrific couple of years and many of us are suffering the consequences of a bad economy. The idea of a vacation used to give me something to dream about, to look forward to. Key word: USED TO, past tense.  Even though it may not be financially feasible, it was something to dream and fantasize about.  Thinking about flying someplace warm in the middle of winter or early spring used to make me so happy, an inside secret I tucked away in my heart. Now? Thinking about flying makes me anxious, another mood elevator crashes to the ground (no pun intended.) With the media screaming about terror alerts and bomb threats, who wants to fly now?  Flying used to be fun, an exciting adventure. Now, you wait in very long lines, several times over, experience huge delays, body checks, shoe checks and most importantly, basic primal fear, anxiety and paranoia. I’d have to think it over for a long time before I would fly again and then, I would literally have to be sedated. Where’s the joy in that?

What is there to look forward to now? The economy stinks, the unemployment rate is ridiculously high and everyone seems to have less money or no money at all (with the exception of perhaps the super-rich which is even more annoying.)  The world, as we know it now, is a scary place. I know things take time but even I am losing patience. The country needs some good news, some great news. We need something, anything to feel good about our lives; I don’t care what it is. Give us a glimmer of hope, a tidbit, a really solid fantasy.

It’s the first week in November and we had sleet, snow and a power outage for six hours the other day. At this point, I’d even welcome some global warming: as in the warming up the country variety. If you hadn’t guessed it before the other thing I despise with a passion is winter. I would love to sleep straight through to spring. It’s cold and dark, scary and we all get sick; especially for those of us with chronic illnesses and pain. I know life is not perfect, believe me, I know. I also know you’re not supposed to “sweat the small stuff.” But, when the BIG stuff is all bad, the little stuff just adds an additional amount of worry and annoyance;  it makes us cranky. Very cranky. I’m not Andy Rooney, I’m just little ol’ me but I’m seriously pissed off. Join me next week for another edition.

9 thoughts on “9 And A Half Minutes, Episode 1

  1. Glad to hear, Tammy, that you are going to continue with your blog. I haven’t been following SNL, but I don’t think either of you two are Debbie Downers. (I assume it’s a reoccuring character: I haven’t been watching SNL since back in the Chevy Chase, John Belushi, Dan Akroyd, Jane Curtin days!). And, Laurie, what did your doctor respond when you called him Dr. Downer? Did he give you an upper? LOL

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    • I can be a Debbie Downer (thinking the worse case scenario). It’s funny that both Tammy and I watched the SNL special “Women of SNL.” The doctor (dermatologist) laughed a lot. I did ask him about tanning beds, etc.

      Love, Laurie

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  2. lol, no i dont think u mentioned it….but im a SNL addict and just watched the women of snl the other nite and they had a whole montage of debbie downer and i laughed til i peed! lol
    tammy

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  3. thanks laurie…yea, i had been pretty sure i would just stop the blog…because i’m not an ace writer for one, and i felt that people who were reading probably thought i was just a big “debbie downer” and whining all the time….but i am gonna keep doing it, cuz my number 1 reason for doing it was for my own benefit, kind of my own therapy…to vent and get the crap that is swirling in my head out of there! not like i have a ton of readers anyway, but i do appreciate my “girls” like you, lorraine, julie, regan, and jolene and others who are so supportive! thanks ladies!

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  4. I totally agree with this ‘rant” lol…..You gave me a little chuckle today, and warmed my heart…you are an awesome person Laurie! Love your blog of course…I wasn’t going to keep up with mine, but I think now I will, maybe one person will read it and be comforted by it, or get info ffrom it or be inspired by it…who knows? All kinds of “magic” can happen online, mainly finding new friends that you otherwise wouldn’t have had the chance to. Stay warm !!! I pray ur power stays on! xoxoxo
    tammy
    http://spicyt.wordpress.com

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  5. To paraphrase an okay movie with a great line “We’re mad as hell and we aren’t going to take it anymore!”
    And, I think you can take 10 minutes, if you like!
    I would add to the spam/junk mail list, the so-called “charity” phone calls where a telemarketing firm has been “hired” by a perhaps legitimate charity (I’m not always so sure), and can call you because, as a charity, they don’t fall under the do not call criteria. My response is always as follows: “I don’t support a charity that uses telemarketing firms to raise funds.” and then I hang up. If I’m in a good mood, then I might say “better luck next call” because it’s not really the fault of the person who called: might be the only job available!
    I have been more “ruthless” with those who call my mother’s phone number: “I’m sorry but she is deceased, and I have decided not to support any of her charities.” Mom was pretty good: she said no to all the phone chariites, and only supported a couple of legimate organizations.
    Then there is all the junk charity mail: I (and my mother still) get note pads, address stickers, key chains, gloves, and various other “incentives” I think designed to guilt you into contributing. For my mother, I developed a nice letter which we sent back in the prepostage paid envelopes discussing how she knew it was important to raise funds, but to take her off the mailing list, and thus redirect those funds back into the charity. It worked around 90% of the time! I have a stack of those pleas to respond to with letters of my own. Now, of course, the charities ask you to pay the postage: they would save more money if they didn’t send the d***n thing out in the first place.
    Okay, I’ll stop venting for today!

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