Carry on Tuesday: The long and winding road…..

English: Opuntia macrocentra, Jardín de Cactus...

English: Opuntia macrocentra, Jardín de Cactus, Guatiza, Lanzarote, Spain (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You can’t be perfect all the time. I thought I had to try to be in the past as a child. Now I don’t. No one is perfect. Like recently pressing the Publish key first instead of the Save key. It’s okay. Really, nobody cares and if I care (that first audible intake of breath) it’s a waste of my time. My life. I’m not going there. Not ever again. It won’t come automatically, that’s okay.

I will be nicer to myself and easier on myself and everyone else too. Hey,  I don’t know how much longer I have on this earth or how much longer anyone else has. I just won’t care as much, not as intensely, maybe you learn that with age or being hurt or just choosing not to care anymore. I wish I had known that thirty years ago but you learn when you truly need to learn, when it is crucial.  I want to surround myself with those that love me and simplify my life, positive people. I want to subtract, without drama, the negative people.  It’s initially hard to accept when you’re in the middle of some dreaded tsunami and you are swept up but when things finally settle down, you learn. I’ve learned to inhale on one, hold, exhale on two. Repeat as needed. There’s always a way to work things out, always. I’ve found that out with family, it’s not what it used to be but it works. Will everybody be 100 percent happy? Probably not but if we are all 75 percent happy it’s a good deal.

While traveling I’ve always taken the direct route to get from here to there.  The direct route is simple and less risky. But, I am learning to take some risks even if it feels uncomfortable at first. It should feel uncomfortable, you should wriggle around with a few pangs of anxiety and then….then you grow and learn. I have decided that from now on I am taking the long and winding road, to make detours, to appreciate beauty in its simplicity. That’s what adventure and growing are all about. Taking a chance and growing up. Taking the direct route, as I have done, is the easy way but it feeds on your insides and makes you feel used and destroyed, and hurt. All I needed to do was say “no” and step back. Firmly. It’s been a long journey and it isn’t over yet, I’m sure.

It doesn’t matter how old you are, we keep learning. Sometimes it’s painful, most times it’s uncomfortable to do something completely different from what you have done for your whole life. I tried it on for size, I moved my body around, adjusting my skin as if it was attached directly with a sharp, silver needle to every cell, like the pricks of a cactus. It poked, it prodded and I learned to work with it, not against it. In the end, not only was it comfortable but it made me shine, from the inside out.

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7 thoughts on “Carry on Tuesday: The long and winding road…..

  1. I like that decision and it’s one that is full of wisdom and giving people that motivation to do the same.

    Thank you for this post, Laurie. It has inspired in me few words of poetry that I shall put on my blog soon.

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  2. I agree with you that you learn things when you need to learn them. You may not have needed the lessons you are learning now when you were 20 years younger. And sometimes I think it is for the better that we do not KNOW what lessons we may need to know in years ahead…might be too painful…just my thought!

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  3. Sometimes we need to do this. Have a de-clutter in our lives of people who pull us down instead of lift us up and, it isn’t easy at all. I’ve never liked letting go at all. It’s something that I’ve had to learn to do when people I’ve loved have died and of course, I haven’t wanted to let them go. But, we are here to learn the lessons and until we do, we keep repeating the same one over and over and giving ourselves pain doing it too.
    I’m glad you’re happy about the directions you wish to see your life going. No, no-one is 100% happy. Not even rich people are truly happy, they too still have their ‘I wants’ ….
    I enjoyed this, was a gentle reminder to me too, to keep forging ahead on my own new direction and not being tempted to look back at all that pain and angst and wonder if I was happy because, I wasn’t either.
    Great read, thanks!

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  4. Wow, it looks like wordpress is going to let me leave a comment.

    “It doesn’t matter how old you are, we keep learning”

    I love this line…I just didn’t think I would be close to sixty and STILL learning. I thought everything we needed to know we learned in kindergarden!

    I am going to take the long and winding road from now on too. Good advice Twin!

    moxoxo

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