Am I Just Too Old?

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I miss the old days. Before computers and messages and Facebook. When people called each other on the telephone, you know the ones that hung from the wall in putrid yellow and green with curly, tangled cords. They conveyed news, good and bad. You were able to preface things with either hesitation if it was bad news or words that conveyed your discomfort. Good news was easy, people could tell by the lilt of your excited voice. It doesn’t happen that way anymore. I found out about a friend’s death on Facebook. FACEBOOK. It’s true, and it says a lot about society at least to old-fashioned me.

I’m not saying we were best friends and that we had lunch together every week but in the old days when I grew up there was a phone chain. At least you could get a phone call from someone who knew someone and there was that one moment of preparation when an unfamiliar voice would ask to speak to you somewhat hesitantly……You got the needling sensation in your stomach that something was just not right and even though you can never really be prepared, at least you had a gut feeling.

I got the message, as others did, in black and white print, in the form of a lovely, well-written memorial (Thank you, Roland in no way is this a criticism of YOU.)  Couldn’t someone have sent a mailing at least to soften the blow? I guess not, that’s not the way society works these day. I should catch up with the future, I’m just not sure if I can.

I’m still in shock. Truly, I can’t grasp that my friend is dead, maybe because I only had a hint that she was sick. I knew she was in pain once when I saw her but I didn’t know from what; everyone has a bad day now and then. Although I sensed something was wrong when she snapped at me once; that was so not like her at all.  It was pure intuition that made me feel something was  off, nothing else.

Reading her eulogy in print has not given me time to acclimate to the news. Her own Facebook page is still up, with her own heavenly smile lighting up her page.  I’m not sure how to deal with this, there is nothing I can do except get used to the idea she is gone. Having no information makes it worse.

I’ve said good-bye to Helen in my heart and I know that’s all I can do. But finding out about someone’s death on Facebook? That’s got to be a new low. At least for me.

9 thoughts on “Am I Just Too Old?

  1. I’ve found out a number of things on FB that I simply don’t think I should have heard that way. I’ve told things on FB that I didn’t feel comfortable telling because some friends kept telling me….please post about this, it’s the only way I can keep up with you.
    It creeps me out.

    I admit, I stay off of FB most of the time. I look at messages if I get a notice someone sent one…or if someone left me a note on my “wall”, but I don’t feel like I have much to say…much of what I read it dumb…I don’t care who went to what store or what they had for lunch. The things I do care about I’d like to hear in person…or at least in an email.

    I’m so sorry about your friend…and how you found out.
    I miss the old days too.
    hugs to you


  2. Sorry for your loss Laurie. We learned on FB of the death of a cousin of my husband’s . Maybe it’s the new way to do it. Not necessarily a better one though.


  3. It is a hard way to discover, for sure … but thankfully, as a result of FB, after not hearing from a former love for sometime, I went to his page and discovered he has passed away a couple of months ago. He had always promised someone would let me know … unless that someone is gone too! Double-edged sword ~~ I guess!
    Blessings for a good week, Laurie!! 😀


  4. Wow, this is something I guess we should get used to…but I feel like you do. I did not put any type of announcement on facebook or anywhere else when my Mom died. Phone calls all around. When you answer the phone and it is a cousin or a distant Aunt calling, you are prepared somewhat, I agree. But Laurie, we are from a different generation and things will never be the same. I’m so sorry about your friend’s passing, it sucks.


  5. so sorry thats how u found out about a friends passing Laurie. That’s just bad. Of course I know when I die…that’s prolly how alot of people might find out about me…my online friends, my distant friends who we don’t keep up with alot…there are friends i hav rite now who dont grasp how ill I really am…and I have alot listed on my FB…but thats really a bad and unfair way to find out…gettin sucker punched online basically…not fair. I’m sick as a dog rite now, its why I’ve not been on much…only doin the basics and forcing by sheer gutts to get my daughters grad party planned and over with…been a busy month with all this turning 18 stuff/prom/grad/sickness….u no it all too well…I’m hangin on by a thread. But I’m rambling, not about me…lol, I’m sorry about ur friends and the unfortunate way you had to find out about it Hun….xoxoxoxo


  6. Oh man! Sometimes it’s just the fastest way to reach people I guess. I found out my best friend had her baby on Facebook AND it was a week AFTER the baby had been born. I’m still a little bitter about that, but I guess you’re right. It’s just the way of the future and we better get on board!


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