Food, Baby, Food

English: Veggie burger eating competition, Slo...

English: Veggie burger eating competition, Slovakia. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

July 2, 2012

Sometimes You Just Have To Eat

Today, I felt hot and sticky because of the high temperature and humidity and all I wanted to eat were lush strawberries and sweet, orange cantaloupe. When I opted for a veggie burger for dinner I felt absolutely virtuous. Later on, at night, when it was cooler I was so hungry that my hands were trembling just looking at the assortment of items I had assembled to have on it: half of an avocado, two thinly sliced tomatoes, Swiss cheese on the *multi-grain soft, thin bread.

I didn’t plan for was the freshly grilled smell of my husband and son’s barbecued cheeseburgers sitting inches away from my veggie burger. I’m not a vegetarian but I don’t eat red meat that often…but I did then. I had a third of my husband’s burger, I admit it was heavenly.

I ate a healthy piece of dark chocolate. I didn’t stop there. I went straight to snack mode which is always cereal: shredded wheat and brain mixed with “Honey Smacks” as they are now called. I did add fresh raspberries which was a delightful mixture of taste sensations, the red, juicy, tart raspberry along with the sweet “Honey Smacks” and milk. Yum.

After that, pretzels adorned with cream cheese.  Mea Culpa. Was I done? Not by a long shot. I wasn’t feeling guilty though, hungry. I KNEW what I was doing and I was choosing to do it. No regrets.

I gleefully opened the freezer door to find some much-needed  ice cream (and not frozen yogurt.)   I ate a small bowl of cookie dough ice cream with whipped cream. I enjoyed every bite.

I kept going.  It’s was so nice and quiet in the house at midnight, my husband, daughter and dog sleeping, my son out with his friends. It had been such a long time since I had a little time all to myself and I desperately needed that. I just didn’t need the refrigerator to be attached to the event….but it was.

After eating the ice cream in my bedroom, I went downstairs to the kitchen to be orderly and place my ice cream dish in the sink and I was assaulted by four chocolate hazelnut cookies, (this is a big fat lie, it was just an excuse to go to the kitchen again)and eat a piece of milk chocolate, and two marshmallow cookies with a thin layer of raspberry jam. Once upstairs I noticed chocolate hazelnut cream on my breast. How did THAT happen?

I KNOW I didn’t have enough to eat during the day and I was paying for it now. But, you know what? I didn’t care. I was happy to indulge for once. I knew that I would NOT do this again and I would watch very CAREFULLY what I ate the next day and I did.

The point is that I didn’t beat myself up about my binge. I enjoyed it. Every once in a while it’s good to let go for a few hours if you are not going to feel guilty and ashamed. I should have eaten more that day even though it was so hot. Did I have great remorse? No. Did I go back to healthful eating the next day? Yes. If YOU CAN stop and know you can, it’s fine to go off your “healthy living diet” every now and then. Enjoy.
*Arnold Multi-Grain Sandwich Thins ( I love them!)

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