I’m Older Than That Now

Portrait from India 15 (Photo credit: Zuhair Ahmad)

A new, younger friend, was hesitant to write her feelings down on paper.

Why not? I thought.

And then I remembered and rejoiced in that knowledge.

I’m too old for games, I wrote,

but I can understand why you would be hesitant.

I was like that too, at your age.

I now have the freedom not to care what others think.

Freedom not to even think about what others think, not to hesitate, just say what’s on my mind, politely.

What a luxury, a new luxury  that I had taken for granted. A gift. A heavenly gift.

I never realized it before until the younger one said “I thought about it but I didn’t say anything”

I had forgotten that hesitancy until I was reminded of it.

It’s like inhaling a deep breath, holding it in and effortlessly letting it go,

letting it seep into all the crevices of life, be it ocean or wind, or water.

Drifting aimlessly like a freed red kite among the unencumbered blue sky.

I have earned this.

This is my gift to myself.

I will pride myself on not dyeing my hair, for the few strands that are gray and white,

I will wear them with authenticity.

I will continue to throw back my head with my hair long and laugh.

There really is wisdom, joy and freedom in older age.

Even, especially if you don’t seek it;

it will find you.

Keep your heart open to receiving that gift.