Someone Should Kill Punxsutawney Phil (Oh Relax, Not Literally)

groundhog

groundhog (Photo credit: Greencolander)

AN OPEN LETTER TO MR. PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL

Dear P. Phil,

What the hell were you thinking? This has been the nastiest winter not to mention the longest winter that we have had in years. What happened to the early Spring you promised us? Nothing, that’s what. It’s freaking freezing and we are in the third week of March with no tell-tale signs of budding flowers and warm temperatures. Why don’t we just get rid of this stupid tradition? I’ve never believed in it anyway but this year, I admit, I was longing for some good news so I thought four more weeks isn’t bad at all, I can handle that.

For me, a person who hates the winter in the first place, prolonging snow and freezing temperatures makes me feel that much worse. Hey Phil, did anyone teach you about sticking to your word? I am not, in any way, amused. In fact, I’m angry.I happen to know that I am not alone in my anger. I know many, many people who feel the same way. Another snowstorm in the forecast?  WHY NOT, I’ve stopped counting, we have all stopped counting because who can keep track?

The week my husband went skiing was one of the scariest times I have been through in a long time. Again, (what a surprise) the forecast was for a huge storm calling for a foot of snow and 60 mph winds, certainly enough to tear the power lines down to the ground like angry whips. It was terrifying. It was just the dog and me and our dog knew about as much as I did on how to figure out the nine page document that my husband left me to TRY and explain the mini generator. The man had given me graphs and diagrams, even flow charts and arrows. That rather long dissertation made me as crazy as the storm itself. Did he not remember who he has married for 24 and a half years?

I climbed the stairs, flashlight in my pocket, candles strategically placed around the house with matches nearby and climbed into my bed piled high with blankets. I felt like Laura in “Little House On The Prairie” except I was missing Ma and Pa to tucking me in and telling me everything would be alright. I really missed them. I went to bed early because what else was there to do? I prayed. In the morning I woke up to 12 inches of snow but we still had electricity. I was SO happy.

Punxsutawney Phil, as many of us now in mid-life are looking to start different careers,  may I suggest you do the same? I’m sure you can do some different things, you should look into as many options and career choices as possible because I think, as we all agree, you stink at this one.

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2 thoughts on “Someone Should Kill Punxsutawney Phil (Oh Relax, Not Literally)

  1. Hey, if they pulled you out of bed in the middle of the night, placed you on the freezing cold ground to see if you cast a shadow you’d stink at that too!
    I think there should be laws against the harassment of punxsutawneys. Where is PETA?

    Like

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