Shhh! Putting The Past To Bed

B.F. and Teddy

B.F. and Teddy (Photo credit: Treehugger)

I’ve had enough of my down, depressing mood, my attitude needs to be adjusted. Now. I felt lonely and sad for a few weeks and yes, I did have reasons. It started with the husband. Let me tell you, women friends, I’ve been married for almost twenty-five years it’s no walk in the park. Contrary to what my single friends think, being married is hard work, it’s not just holding hands and looking lovingly into each others eyes anymore, that was then, this is now.

We know that every marriage goes through phases, blah, blah, blah and that it is normal, it’s hard to go through one of those rough patches when your husband doesn’t “get it” and frankly you know, deep down inside, he never will. Let’s be honest, after 24 and a half years he is not going to suddenly turn into the romantic, powerful guy you picture. He just isn’t. But, he may well be your best friend and companion and if you are sad, lonely and feel betrayed by the family you were born into, he’s got your back. He and your children are your family.

He’s the father of your children (the ones that are practically grown-up now) he was the one that said comically “assume the position” when he offered to give me the infertility shots every night at the same time so I wouldn’t have to do it myself. He dried all my tears, he stood up for me when people were mean to me, and yes, he can get nasty but so can I. We’re getting older TOGETHER, at least we have each other to discuss our fears, our anxieties, we have each other to love. I need to remind myself more and more of the wonderful things I DO have, I’m lucky to have a husband like him, he really is my best friend. I am also blessed with amazing kids, both of them, each one so different, such good, smart, warm and witty young adults.  I hope that they will think I’ve been a good mother, that’s truly important to me.

I didn’t have the most nurturing mother but she still loved me and worried about me, way too much. My father was very supportive and loving but he had his bad side too, who doesn’t? My sister, well, I wouldn’t choose her to be my best friend, we have exact opposite personalities but when we do get along, it’s great and we can talk for hours. It’s nice to have someone who shares my history if not my utter love for the movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off one of my all time favorite movies!!! Honestly I think it is one of the greatest movies of all times and she walked out of it. She hated one of my favorite movies. Now we do the opposite of each other, if she loves something I will stay away and vice versa.

I am leaving the past in the past. Forever. I won’t worry about the future, since I have no control over it and I will try to stay in the present, one minute at a time. Appreciate the good things in life, the small moments I can capture in the blink of an eye, a pretty bird with a beautiful song, a bright yellow flower, a cup of coffee with swirling milk. I want to start reading fun books not my depressing ones, and laugh more. Life is too short and way too unpredictable. It can change in a single breath. Please join me and try to enjoy your good times too. Seek them out, you will find them and before long, they will find you.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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8 thoughts on “Shhh! Putting The Past To Bed

  1. you know I try to live this way, but I can tell you, no matter how much I want to leave the past behind, sometimes it comes back, out of the shadows, and bites me in the butt. Throws me for a loop, and just makes me crazy.

    Good luck on your journey. Don’t be discouraged if sometimes you have those moments where you feel down and discouraged…or sad. Just realize you will come out of it and get back to this, the road you really want to follow.

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  2. That last paragraph sums up my philosophy of life, especially after being diagnosed with the metastatic breast cancer. LIVE each day, find things that make you smile and laugh and enjoy interacting with the very special friends you’ve made–like you!!! Oh, Stretch is here nudging me with his paw, he wants to say “hi” to his favorite fan! 😉

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      • Stretch’s little friend was appropriately–“Shorty.” I thought he should have someone closer to his size to pal around with now and then, keeps the stories fresh! And you’re right, he’s always happy and having fun. In our next life, you and I are coming back as pampered bears and Stretch can write our blogs. lol

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  3. I agree with Judy….great post. I may print it up, put it on my fridge and read it everyday! I’ll be ready if you pick me up to go see Judy….I might even fly to see her!

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  4. I wish I could take credit for this blog!!!!! WONDERFUL words that everyone should take in, absorb and live by.

    Long ago I stopped reading and looking at anything that vaguely resembles flood, famine or pestilence – my mind, body & soul literally suffer. It has to be something funny, positive, fascinating and at the very least neutral. The pain & suffering in the world do not benefit from my empathy. And what I do for a living is intense enough that I do not need more when I’m off the clock.

    HOWEVER, life does get in the way and so do personal relationships . . . Such a nice reminder for me Laurie, thank you.
    with love always,
    j

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    • Yes, you may use it or part in your workshops, giving me credit of course. I WANT to come to one of your workshops, can you please set one or two up with more notice. I’ll pick up Mo on the way. Love, PK jr who is proud to be your friend.

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