Tell me about a beautiful person you know…
She is a wisp of a woman, small, slender, I would like to be able to cover her with layers of warm blankets, one at a time, like a really special birthday cake. In her case, the rich, cocoa brown chocolate frosting, the color of very fertile soil, that will grow anything with abandon… especially ash trees… that sink their roots deep into Mother Earth to pull up strength and nourishment from below, and raise their branches high to the sky to soak in Light of the sun, moon, and stars… the sweet frosting would gently hug her and rock her to sleep. In my dream, she would be able to eat everything she wants to eat and she would be able to gain some much-needed weight. Right now she needs to gain a lot of weight, weight falls off her tiny bird bones and she is weak. She would sleep soundly all curled up in a sugar rose, like one of those wonderful Anne Gedddes photographs that I used to have hanging on my wall on a calendar. Newborn babies in sculptures. Asleep. Blissfully asleep. My friend has been physically sick for a long time, just like many of us with chronic pain disorders and the like.
I’m talking to you about my friend, Ash, a woman who to me is the essence of angels. She is warm and open and shy all at the same time. She tries to be strong for other people but once in a great while she will show me her vulnerability. I can read her because, though not biologically, she is my sister. She is a spiritual sister to a few people and none of us are jealous of each other because in this spiritual plain, jealously doesn’t exist. Our other sister is Michelle, at one point we became a family of our own and I have yet to meet either one but that doesn’t seem urgent or even necessary. Ash seems to be the oldest of the sisters, though chronologically, I am. Her wisdom flows, teaches, keeps us grounded.
My friend has been through difficult times, I worry about her health, her adrenal glands, very weak body, the way her energy sounds over the phone she sounds wound-up and anxious and yes, scared. To me she is usually Mother Earth, Goddess of All Things Natural, all things Golden, an Angel on Earth but tonight I was strong for her; she needed ME tonight. No one is safe from a disturbing past, although I used to think that everyone had a clear, easy, simple path to adulthood. I was wrong. If you look behind the curtains you find out that every person has their own story. Sometimes they want their story to be a secret, sometimes they pretend not to understand the question. Every child has a story as do their parents.
Ash, had a rough childhood, she has Aspbergers which I never would have known had she not told me and a hard time growing up. Ash is a mountain girl, one with animals, I expect she relates more with animals than with people and the animals know that. They love her as their own. She has two daughters with two very different personalities, I know one better than the other, but the one I do know is loving, caring and has a lot of responsibility on her shoulders, I have been there too.
I had too much responsibility on my shoulders too when I was young so I can relate to “the little one” with ease and admiration. And with a word of caution, “you have your own life too, sweet one, please make sure to remember that” I am only a phone call away from both of you.
My friend is now bugging me to take dairy and wheat out of my diet, I try not to laugh out loud but she knows me too well. She wears me down, the most I will give her is “I promise to try” but it is a weak promise though I won’t let her down.
I will not let her down, my sister, my friend. I hope she knows that applies to my “niece” too.
My friend is going through another difficult time now, health-wise, I will always support her, I do what I can, living far away, but this gentle soul could use a break, please join me in putting a peaceful, spirit prayer to help her through the tough days ahead.
photo credit: songdeluxe
Just Beautiful! So sweet and, like Laurie, tender in spirit.
Forever, we will remember Laurie!
I’m so sorry you’re having trouble linking in. Here is the link you should be posting:
I’ve looked into the matter on my end and I’m not able to find anything that would help. Sometimes longer link url’s are difficult. Maybe try a shorter title for your post. I’ve had to do that many times myself.
Again I apologize that you had trouble and for my delay in responding.
Thank you for your continued participation in fwd. I’m so grateful to have you join us each week. I hope you have better luck next time.
Much love and gratitude.
Ash, this is what Kellie Elmore (who started Free Write Fridays) calls a Free Write so these words just flowed out of me without editing or proofreading or changing things. Well, maybe vanilla to chocolate. I didn’t work on this, it flowed through me. It makes me incredibly joyful that you have gotten some strength and happiness from my words. Love, Laurie
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Laurie, my blessed, dear sister,
Mere words cannot convey how deeply moved I am by what you have written, how honored I feel, and how incredibly this fills my Heart with gratitude, Love & Joy. It is an astonishing gift, one that has brought tears of happiness, amazement, and Joy, and one I will turn to over and over again, I am sure, during especially difficult times.
You are quite right, in that everyone has struggles, has barriers and weights they must either overcome or succumb to. I think it is our choice, how we choose to respond, to challenges, and sometimes people are swamped by grief, fear, anger or hate, and can’t find their way clear of those emotions. They get stuck. I’ve had lots of such challenges, and learned the hard way that those negative emotions only harm me, and that there are, indeed, lessons and even opportunities in every difficulty, every challenge, although they may be very hard to see at the time.
It took me a long time to see the lessons and opportunities in being chronically ill, especially as the years passed the decade mark – I was diagnosed with CFS/FMS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/Fibromyalgia) in 1999, and then came Lyme and more. But through it all, I have learned so much about myself, about who I really am, my own strength, and that even with these illnesses dragging me down, I have purpose, and can help others dealing with the same illnesses.
So many of my fellow patients are struggling just to keep going, just to keep their heads above water, and it’s been my great honor and pleasure to be able to get to know so many, to offer a helping hand when I can, to share a bit of hard-earned experience… experience I would not have had, had I never become ill. So even my illness has a purpose, or at least that’s the way I choose to look at it.
And without it, I would likely never have gotten to know you or Michelle, who are such an integral part of my soul’s family. Everything happens for a reason, I think, and I know my life has been greatly enriched by the presence of you both in it. I can’t imagine it any other way.
Always and forever your sister, sending Love and immeasurable Gratitude,
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I must admit tears have fallen while reading this post…how blessed you are to know such a person as Ash. I love when I come across people who when I look at them I see Jesus. May Ash be blessed abundantly for living a life of LOVE!
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And many tears have fallen from me, as well, that Laurie honored and blessed me in such a way… thank you for your blessings, Brandye. ❤
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