Three Fake Holiday Cards

 Dear Bill C,
I know, right?
Yes, Karma IS a Bitch.

Here is a new cigar.
Let me put this cigar where I want.
Now sit down, and smoke it.
It is fresh, I promise.


______________________________________________________________
Dear Kelly,
Are you SURE you don’t have an eating disorder?
How can you be superwoman all the time?
I’m more than a little worried about you.
Please have Mark or Regis call me or even the new guy.

You look high strung, very high-strung.

 No, you can’t do it all, all the time.
Your body and your mind can only take so much.
Please, slow down, you’ve already accomplished enough.
Enjoy life, just turn down the speed, turn the speed down WAY LOW.
***************************************************************************************************************************
Dear Robin,

You are the one we can’t forget, even though we didn’t even know you. We thought we did but you were deep beneath your laughing exterior.  We admired you, you made us laugh, you made us cry. We are still crying at the loss of you, suicide is so angry, so shocking to your fans. I remember gasping out loud and I couldn’t breathe when someone told me the devastating news of your death. By hanging. I’m even shaking my head now, as if was new all over again. It will always be new.

We are so sorry that you had to go through with MS but hey, couldn’t you have talked to Michael J. Fox first? I guess not, it’s a moot point, Robin, I hope you are not in pain, I hope you are romping around Heaven making people laugh, you are probably the best comedian up there that they have seen in a while. Say hi to Joan Rivers from us, the world is a much sadder place now. We miss you and Joan.
****************************************************************************************************************************
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