#FWF Friday, Kellie Elmore

“I don’t want someone to believe my lies, I need someone to accept my truths.”  ― Kellie Elmore

Lying is a skill, an easy one if you know how to do it correctly. To me, it comes naturally, I don’t have to think about it, I say just what needs to be said. I’m an actor. So, not really hard for me to get into another character.

My best friend, who is a girl,  complains about this all the time. She yells and screams about not knowing “the real me.” I’ve tried to tell her that “there IS NO real me” but she chooses

not to believe me. Don’t you think that’s her problem? I do.

It’s not like I’m lying to her, I am telling her the truth, if she can’t believe that there is nothing more to me then what I have presented she should move on and yes, I have told her that. No, it hasn’t been welcomed kindly but hey, I’m here, locked in between truth and fantasy.

I can only give you what I have.

I told you I have only a small amount of emotional sensitivity and I know you hate me for that. It’s who I am, it’s how I was brought up with my parents who are pretty black and white and no-nonsense. You knew all this from the beginning. Are you trying to change me now? Good luck with that, it’s not happening. I can’t change and I don’t want to change. Listen, this is who I am. An actor, a chameleon, there is no “inner me.”

My truths are my lies, accept them, you can’t change them, nor will you ever succeed. I told you this four years ago when we first met. I was direct. You were gooey-eyed, large blue eyes blinking adorably, it’s as if in your mind there was a cloud bubble saying “I know I can change him, he doesn’t mean that…”

I told you the truth, you decided not to believe me, why is that my fault? You can’t be mad at me, be mad at yourself. Yes, you. You should be disappointed in yourself for thinking you could change someone who was always honest with you. Why couldn’t you leave well enough alone? We were so happy being best friends, I know I was.

If you could have accepted who I was in the beginning our relationship would still be in tact today, but no. You pushed and prodded until all of a sudden we argued about “our relationship” and where we were “heading.”

I didn’t want to head anywhere, I told you that I loved our dear friendship the way it was, always. You refused to believe me and made up excuses all the time, you psychoanalyzed me continuously. When you accused me of being gay because I was not interested in you “in that way” that was the last straw.

You disrespected me on so many levels. I happen not to be gay but what does that matter? You were my friend, I was not interested in you sexually or as my girlfriend. We were best friends, we still could have been best friends but not anymore. You tried to change me when all I wanted was to show you who I was  and love each other for what we were together.

English: group of friends in 1987 wearing the ...

I didn’t end this friendship, you did. You went over the line of trust, I didn’t want to spend time with you alone anymore. I needed you to accept who I was and enjoy that person like you used to. But, that was not enough for you after a while, you kept wanting more and more and as many times as I reminded you this is as much as I could give you, you refused to believe me and after that you always tried to make me feel bad.

It was no longer a friendship, it became a battlefield.Where once there were four best friends, now there are three. I’m sorry for you. I do hope you meet that special person that lives in your head. I hope he will make you happy.

I didn’t end our friendship, what ended our friendship was you and in the end, maybe the actor wasn’t me, I think maybe the actor was you.

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Catherine Zeta Jones And Me (Pop Cop)

Catherine Zeta Jones at the Hasty Pudding Woma...

Catherine Zeta Jones at the Hasty Pudding Woman of the Year Parade, Cambridge, MA. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I kicked myself in the butt and pushed myself out of bed today, I CAN’T let the icy cold temperatures keep me locked up inside my warm bed everyday. It’s definitely not good for my Fibromyalgia and as I have learned it is definitely not good for my head. I need to have at least one or two things to do a day to get me outside, walking. That was one of the problems over this Thanksgiving weekend, I was inside too much  (all the time) without going outside ONCE. Big mistake but as people with Fibro know it’s a hard rut to get out of, I’m trying to remind myself of how I felt these last few days. Hint: not good.

Today I went to T.J. Maxx to casually look around and while I didn’t find anything to buy I did catch sight of the beautiful Catherine Zeta Jones who truly is gorgeous and incredibly elegant. She seemed very pleasant, just shopping like everyone else and then politely asked a clerk to hold her things while she went to use the lady’s room. Catherine Zeta Jones actually used the bathroom at T. J. Maxx, probably the very same toilet I have peed in. For some reason, that she used the bathroom there really impressed me!

While I am not the type of person to fawn over celebrities it was lovely to see someone so unimpressed with herself. I didn’t see her sticking her tongue out, screaming, wearing skimpy outfits or causing a scene; this woman is beautiful and has what so many others lack: grace, class and elegance. Brava!

Obviously I left her alone and I didn’t even see anyone approach her for an autograph which was so nice to see, people were respectful of her privacy and trust me, there were no papparazzi around. I could imagine all the people in the store surrounding and protecting her, making a circle with Catherine sitting in the middle, to get any papparazzi to leave her alone. She just seems like the type of person you want to protect.

I’m no angel, believe me, if it was Miley Cyrus or some other young person with attitude I would have opened the door for the photographers myself. I get enough attitude from my own teenagers, I don’t need it from “self-made celebrities.” When I came back from my little outing I posted who I had seen on the” Town Moms Board’ that we have and truly people were thrilled. There have been sightings of Catherine Zeta Jones recently and not one person has said she was unfriendly or mean. Not one. She has always been nice, pleasant, not “shmoozy” that could be a made-up word coming from the Yiddish word: to shmooze (talk ) but cordial and polite.

To Catherine, Happy Holidays from hibernationnow and all of us who think you are simply lovely.

PS  It’s nice that Michael Douglas allegedly has come over to make you and the kids pancakes every morning (I read that at the supermarket when I was standing on-line) but only eat them if you WANT THEM. I know you understand. Be strong, go shopping, be happy.

Plinky Prompt: You’re a movie star. What food/items do you request for your dressing room?

  • This is a picture i took for the Candy article.

    This is a picture i took for the Candy article. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

    You’re a movie star. What foods/items do you request for your dressing room? See all answers

  • My Contract Rider
  • Get ME This, Get ME That
    Mini orchid flowers Sigh, do I have to answer this AGAIN? Damn it, this should have been handled by my PEOPLE a long time ago. LIKE I SAID, I want medium sized jelly beans, (and NOT spiced jelly beans) in a pretty crystal bowl that has a cover so they don’t get stale.( I HATE when that f–king happens), 2 bottles of iced Perrier, two egg salad sandwiches (if there’s peel in that sandwich I will not go on stage. A humidifier. My down comforter in yellow. Fresh flowers every day, mini-orchids (but YOU should Know that!) My puppy. My best friend when I ask for him/her. A swimming pool/steam room (I don’t care where we are filming, do it!!) Christmas lights strung around the dressing room,( white twinkling lights only), a jade plant, 5 silk eye masks and cucumber/strawberry platters. No alcohol allowed, except for a bottle of champagne, chilled, all the time. Plus 2 pitchers of fresh orange juice. Malted milk balls, a massage therapist on call 24/7 and sugar cookie (not vanilla) aromatherapy piped into the air ducts. That will be all. For now.

Pop Cop: Heidi Montag –Repost

Heidi Montag attending the second issue releas...

Image via Wikipedia

1/24/2010

Heidi WHO?   There has been a lot of media attention about some actress named Heidi and I have no idea why. Her name and tons of photos of her have been shown relentlessly on TV and articles have been written about her in all the gossip rags. Why? Supposedly, this  TV” star”( and I use that term VERY loosely) recently had ten cosmetic surgical procedures done in one day. She’s getting all this media attention for THAT? Now, won’t that certainly assure her of getting her a star on Hollywood Boulevard…..? Not.

Frankly, I don’t give a crap about Heidi Montag and all her surgeries.  The only people who SHOULD be concerned and involved are her mother, husband, best friend and the psychiatrist she apparently really needs to meet.   I could care less whether Heidi Montag or Jane Fame have ten surgeries in a day,  let them have 20 procedures for all I care. Can’t we just keep it under wraps and not give her this shameful publicity?  In my opinion, I think she needs serious psychiatric help instead of  fame.  I read that she was/is on a tv show with some dude, Spencer Pratt. From what I have read, I thinks she is married to him but there’s a bit of controversy regarding that.  Incredible Hall of Fame. Fabulous resume too.

Heidi,  you famous thing. Apparently you are an actress so why don’t we  just put you in the same category of say, the invincible Meryl Streep while we are at it? The difference? Meryl Streep deserves to be famous; Meryl Streep is an unbelievable actress and a true star. A woman I would be honored to meet, an icon.   Heidi -Who, in my opinion should get help for her mind, not her body. Does anyone else hear the word Dysmorphic syndrome?  And, why, why, when girls are just getting exposed (finally) to full-figured models and “real” women are we showcasing this person?  Think, people, think. Do you think it’s a good message?  Right. NO, it isn’t. I’m all for freedom of speech but really?    TMZ,  I actually really like you but come on, even you?

Heidi, and I quote, says that “she feels like plastic”and basically, she is plastic, from top to bottom and ten times over.   She says she is not addicted to plastic surgery, umm, ok if you say so but I beg to differ. If you want to emulate Barbie, fine. Barbie is a GOOD role model compared to you. She has different types of careers and areas of expertise. She can be a veterinarian or a pilot, or a brain surgeon, a mom or an Olympic gold medalist.

Heidi-Who on the other hand? I’ve got it.  She will be a contender for the silver medal in the Nip/Tuck category of the Olympics. For representing a really bad role model to others,  and a disturbing image of herself.