NATIONAL METALS JUNKYARD – NARA – 544831 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I face the corner
tossed away, back handed slap
I do not fit in.
* * * * * *
You, lie, back- stabber
try to steal my character,
Dishonest people.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
The scraps of my soul
Now discarded in gray ash
Shows me who YOU are.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Breathe, stay in Goodness
Don’t be influenced by them
Let your own heart rule.
photo credit: Wikipedia, National Medals Junkyard, NARA-544831
Angel Cloud – HDR (Photo credit: Free HDR Photos – http://www.freestock.ca)
I don’t idolize “celebrities” or “actors” like some people do, I need to know a person inside and out before I hand over my heart. However, there is one man who I absolutely adore and I have met him personally several times. His name is Roland Comtois, he is a Medium, receiving messages from the other side (those who have passed away) and giving them to those who have lost a loved one. I DON’T work for Roland nor do I sell his books or get a percentage of anything he sells. I just want you to know that I believe in him so much and that he is such an amazingly GOOD PERSON that I wanted to share his name with you.
He rarely does private meetings anymore but he so kind and gentle with a voice that sounds like angels playing their harps, like laughter in the heavens, like what pure honesty would sound like. I have never doubted him for a minute, except the first time I ever went to a gathering at Helen’s house (Starvisions) and he picked up on that and said out loud that I was there “checking him out.” So true.
Roland Comtois. He is a medium, with a heart and a spirit so open that I imagine dozens of white doves fly from his heart and pass his messages from those who have passed to those who are living. I was lucky enough to get two of those purple papers and Roland knew my name even though there were no name tags nor was he told in advance who was coming. He stood over me, with his soft, gentle eyes and addressed me, gave me a message from my father who had passed, and I burst into tears with joy and peace and love. I am the lucky recipient of two Purple Papers and I was the conduit for another woman in the audience.
His message is sweet and simple, we don’t NEED a medium to get messages from our loved ones, which I have always known. I do get messages on my own and have for years. But, for those that don’t, keep your heart open, ask for messages from your angels, from God, from the person you miss, directly, and be open to any sign that may come. Be patient and open and most of all, believe in yourself. The sign will may not be blatant like a photo or a picture, mine come in initials and numbers or music and birds. My first message, the most important one, came in the form of a luggage tag. Yes, it’s true.
Be aware of your surroundings and be open to love. I consider it an absolute privilege and honor to have met Roland in person. Thank you, world.
Special thanks to http://www.freestock.ca
Good things do happen to good people but sometimes you just have to wait. I speak from experience, 2 years of physical and emotional hell, and learning old lessons in a new way. From a new outlook, and most importantly, from a new me. I’m not the person I was 5 years ago, not even 3. I’m a new person in an old body, and an older soul in the same body. I am grateful for what I do have. What I don’t have, I probably don’t really need right now; and if I do need it and I don’t have it maybe there’s a reason. I just don’t know what the reason is…….yet.
There are ALWAYS unfair twists and turns in people’s lives. I don’t have the answer to terrorists or 9/11 or a beautiful baby girl diagnosed with terminable cancer. I’ve learned, however, that we all pay a price in life, nobody goes unscathed. Of course a certain amount of self-indulgence is definitely acceptable. Why me? Why him? Why us? There just aren’t answers all the time and part of growing up is the willingness to accept horrible things and still go on. What choice do we have? We need to learn to ride the waves, the smooth rippling water and the fierce, crashing undercurrent. There is not one straw that breaks the camel’s back but many, many straws and we need to deal with them, one at a time and probably forever. It’s the way the universe works. Give to it and it will give back to you; maybe not now but sometime in the future.
No one is talking about easy. No one is talking about fun. It’s your own approach to the world that makes a difference. So, give a little of yourself, believe that good things will happen and put your energy out there. It may take a good enough amount of time but the last thing you want to do is give up. Play “The Smile Game’ when you feel the most miserable, cranky, depressed or disgusted, smile broadly (even when you don’t feel like it) go out and see what happens. I KNOW you don’t want to do it, I didn’t either but try (please). You’d be surprised. People really do react to what they see, we all do.Give a little of yourself to the world, to a child, to a charity and say hello to the universe and to the angels, smiling.
Life is short and it’s a game; sometimes it’s only a crap shoot, other times you have more control. Believe in something, anything, your G-d, your Buddha, “The Sound of Music” the smell of new cars, Ben and Jerry’s, Jimmy Choos or for me, Merrell clogs While you are on the this good earth, give of yourself, your love, your hope, your time, your gratitude, your patience. As long as you take the steps to believe in yourself and give to others, you’re more than halfway there. Welcome home.
for Roland who has helped me, even when the waves were really rough and for Doc who taught me that there were always more straws to break. I thank you.
1/11/10
UGH. DOUBLE UGH.
As some of you know, I have Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis which even though it sounds like a special on a dinner menu is an auto immune disease. Before being treated for that, I was formerly diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. My Endocrinologist gave me Synthroid when, after menopause, I was diagnosed with an underactive thyroid. Synthroid brought my thyroid levels back to a normal range but I still felt absolutely horrible. Months and months later I found my way to a Rheumatologist who diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia and prescribed Cymbalta. I still felt horrible and about a year later I found my guru Dr. who is the Head of Auto Immune Diseases and Rheumatology at a NY hospital. I think I might be in love with him… he’s a genius.
I take Plaquannel every day. And folic acid. Oh, and methotrexate with a high dose of Vitamin D, twice a week. It pretty much takes me out of commission 4 days of the week because my stomach rages against the methotrexate for two days each time I take it. I take Cymbalta for the Fibromyalgia (which I may or may not have) and an anti-depressant used for anxiety issues. I am my own chemical compound. I was also on Prednisone which at high doses makes you feel incredible, high, and young and when you lower it significantly and slowly, you feel like you are in the movie “Cocoon” where the elderly first are given a special potion to feel young and fabulous and later on it goes away and they feel old and horrible again. Heartbreaking but true. I’m not proud of all the medications I have to take but I am not ashamed either.
According to my guru Dr. in the city “Fibromyalgia is a lazy diagnosis.” His theory is that anyone with an auto-immune disease like mine will feel achy, fatigued and have muscle pain. To me, the patient, I don’t care what you call it, as long as you can help me feel better.
It took two complete years to even get on the right track of my initial diagnosis and while I think I am on the right track, it doesn’t mean that I feel swell all the time. It means I feel better and have learned to handle and predict certain situations. I am also 53 and not 23 and that does make a significant difference. Somewhere in this medical mystery of mine, I have had many broken bones, sprains and torn ligaments; I think there is a connection with the Hashimoto’s but not definitively. All I know is that it hurts and takes a very long time to heal.
My experience with the above urges me to say the following: If you feel that something is wrong, believe it. My internist didn’t believe me at all and actually left the office in a huff when I started crying from all the pain. Go to different doctors for their opinions. Don’t be scared that Dr. Jones will be insulted if you see Dr. Stevens. Nobody cares. Hardest but most important of all, believe that you will get better! You may not be perfect but you will be better and you do need patience for that. Keep trying and keep believing that you will not always feel this bad. Believe me, I am still learning and relearning that lesson every single day.
Good Luck!
Hibernationnow's Blog 