Haters Gonna Hate (Without Me)

English: Gwyneth Paltrow at the 2011 Venice Film Festival (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’ve read that there are people who “hate” Ann Hathaway just like they used to hate Gwyneth Paltrow. Hate? I read it in at least three or four different sources and an additional two at the end of the long supermarket line.

Where is all the “hate” coming from these days, I have no idea. I don’t get it. Is it a new “trend” to hate someone? I thought we were moving back to a “kinder, gentler nation.”  I guess I was wrong.

People are now hating  people they don’t even KNOW?

My God, (gasp!!), are we all back in middle school? Does he have”cooties?”Does SHE? UGH, she smells like a monkey, he smells like poop, hey he said a curse word, SHUT UP!!! Dad, he’s screaming at me, MOMMY….. and so it starts….unless the behavior can be changed right away.” Hate is a very strong word my parents told us,” “Hate is a very, very strong word, we told our children.”

I do know grown up people that are obviously mean and negative but, I make an effort to try to stay far away from them. Anyone who is consistently like that is NO longer in my close circle of friends. It wasn’t good for me and I’m much happier now. I know these past friends or acquaintances will stab anyone in the back, some would be shocked to think that they do it, many people are unaware of how they come across.

Apparently the movie “Mean Girls” lives on but instead of being ashamed many people are proud of their status or have no idea what pain they are inflicting on others. There are quite a few “Mean Girls” that grow up without learning lessons, they become “Mean People.”

I’d rather someone be mean to my face than behind my back because you know someone will always delight in telling you. This way, if someone attacks you to your face you can decide to fight back or walk away saying “This is YOUR problem, not Mine.”

So, hate away, haters. I’m not joining in. There’s too much negativity in the world already, I’m not getting involved in anything remotely mean, gossipy or unkind. There is enough pain going around in this world without me adding to it. Even though some people don’t show it, we all have issues we are dealing with inside.

Am I changing the world? I know I’m not. I’m just changing my teeny, tiny piece of it, that’s all I can to do. If I can change one person to stop saying one mean thing I would be thrilled. I’m not changing the world but to me it’s still worth the effort.

Diagnosis: Anxiety

Anxiety Always (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You know that feeling in your stomach that makes your muscles clench but you don’t have a real stomach ache from eating too much and you don’t have a virus? That’s where anxiety starts for me. I’m literally writing this blog while having an anxiety attack and honestly, it’s not that easy to remain focused. Part of me thinks about throwing up but I’m trying to be calm, trying to breathe until I can’t do this any longer. I know you guys understand. That’s why I love blogging, for the people who read my blog. If you can’t relate to anxiety, I’m sure you can relate to other things I write about, humor, Pop Cop, my love of Food, Chocolate, Pizza (fine, with jam but only if the pizza is too dry) some of the ailments: Fibromyalgia, Chronic Pain, Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis and having the energy of a dying tick. Actually, an ailing tick may have more energy than I do. I forgot a few other ailments like Imbalalnce and such but it’s pathetic enough as it is, I won’t bore you with more details. I bore myself as it is.

My husband and I are (and I hate these words) “empty nesters.” We’re also in the “sandwich generation” another over popular phrase that is used ad nauseum. Basically we are a married couple, we just celebrated twenty-five years of marriage and both our adult children are in college. I have my mom who is still alive and my husband has both parents alive and they still play tennis. Amazing.

Like many people my husband just got laid off from his job a few days ago. That’s stress provoking, people. He works doing computer stuff which is what I basically call it but it’s something like Software Product Development Management. I know nothing about it but if you do or know someone who might be able to help can you please have them get in touch with me?  I’ll send it to him and it would really be an act of incredible kindness, no matter where you live. In any case, I can’t change things, I try not to worry about them and in the end, things will turn out the way they are supposed to turn out.

About a week ago I had the mother of all anxiety attacks when my son turned 21, my husband lost his job and my mother, who was a little sad because all her friends were moving, decided that maybe she should consider moving too. It was a long day and a tough weekend.  We all know I’m not very good at change especially three changes in one day but after 24 hours I was much better. Breathe in, breathe out. Maybe that meditation class was worth the money after all.

I’m trying to do the best that I can, even writing this all down has helped me become last anxious. Having my dog Lexi, literally lying on my legs so I can’t move, her face close to me, makes me happy. From a crazy, wild puppy she has become an affectionate, loving girl dog. She knows that I need to lie down a lot and when I am home, she jumps up on the bed and cuddles with me.

The anxiety has lessened. I know there will be moments of panic but from now on, we have to take it step by step. I give thanks for what we still have. I will try to keep reminding myself of that, whatever happens will happen. Worrying about it won’t do me or anyone else any good. There’s a reason for everything and now we wait.

Kellie Elmore: Free Write Friday, Favorite Childhood Gift

Favorite Childhood Gift:

My father bought my favorite stuffed animal, a monkey, in Lamberts, a store in New York City for my second birthday.I imagined Lamberts was a store filled with all kinds of wonderful things: police cars that flashed and made noise, doll babies with small pink bottles, cards for all occasions, all types of medicine including my personal favorite, St. Joseph Aspirin for children that tasted like an orange cream soda. I pictured them also having a formica counter with shiny chrome swirling stools where you could orders snacks and a black and white ice cream soda, or a frosty bright pink strawberry milkshake.

My favorite love object is a stuffed animal whose name is Nokey.I could not pronounce “Monkey” at the time. If you noticed I haven’t used the past tense it’s because I will be 57 in the beginning of October and Nokey will be 55. Yes, I still have him, I will always have him. This special friend of mine, this lovey, has been all over the world with me, wherever my family took me, I took him.

He is so important to me that my husband (and probably my grown-up children) know when I die, I want to be buried with him beside me or cremated with me. Nokey was always such a huge part of my life.

I’m not sure why he was so important but I know he was the one object I could rely on, could trust. He kept my confidences and more importantly, only he could make me feel safe. I slept with him until he was too fragile to sleep with, he went to college for a semester but after that his inner stuffing starting falling out and ungainly wires started poking out. My father, seeing old friends, brought him to a small doll and toy factory in Germany (my father was an airline employee) so that Nokey could get a face and body lift. There was nothing in New York, they only accepted “dolls.” His colors were still the same, a yellow shirt and black pants, with white sneakers but his head was a little too puffy.  In time I forgot how he used to look.

I have always imagined the toy shop high on a cobblestone street, on the second floor. The old, kindly toy maker with white hair and round glasses, looking out the window, smiling; and there would be red flowers on all the window boxes of the white house with brown trim.

Nokey has ruby-red lips upturned in a big, happy smile and I used to swing his arms back and forth because I thought he liked it. His ruby smile faded a tiny bit as he became older just as all of us fade a little with age. It didn’t matter to me, it doesn’t matter to me.I love him for all the love, comfort and warmth he brought to me. I never cared how he looked with his bandaged hand, masking tape, in many places. Shouldn’t old age be treated in the exact same way? Do we really need all these vain people trying to look young forever? Why? Yes, I’m focusing on you, “celebrities. You send such a bad message to people.

Nokey is now lying beside me with his bandaged white sneakers and his hand that was once burnt on the furnace that my dad lovingly wrapped in masking tape. I will not put him in the closet for another day, I will find a place for him where I can see him and smile and remember the comfort he gave me, as a little girl, standing outside, looking within.

Plinky Prompt: Who Is The Most Famous Person You Have Met?

• 

  English: Ellen DeGeneres in 2009. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

  Meeting Someone Famous

• Define Famous For Me…
  I’ve said hello to Diana Ross, John Travolta, and endless movie stars. I met Bob Barker when I was six and my parents snuck me into a taping of “The Price Is Right” when we visited Los Angeles. I’ve offered Dustin Hoffman coffee (well, me and six other people), I sat next to Vanessa Williams (I observed her complexion when she was promoting that Pro-Activ skin care line) at a conference. I saw Robert Redford in the lobby of the building I worked in and couldn’t believe it was him. More importantly, I even (I’m embarrassed and I’m sorry) met and told President Clinton that perhaps he should eat a hamburger (even though he is a vegan)( SORRY ELLEN DEGENERES) because he looked so gaunt and I worried for his health. I admit it, mea culpa.
  BUT, I don’t care about fame or fortune, title or level. I never have and I never will. I care about how a person treats me and others and I am not easily intimidated. I don’t consider Paris Hilton or Lindsey Lohan famous, sorry, I just don’t. Famous people? People who have changed the world for the better, people who have helped people. I would love to meet Ellen Degeneres (or Oprah when she still had her wonderful daytime show-she gave me such inspiration) because they want to make the world a better, more loving place and yes, to me, they are famous. It’s not fame that interests me, it’s character. I’d be honored to meet Ellen or Oprah, two women who have strength, love, generosity and humility. To me, that’s the definition of FAME.
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My Top Celebrity Sightings

Image via Wikipedia

When I was “oh so very young” I worked at Paramount Pictures in the Corporate Offices on the East Coast. I never did anything remotely related with stars but oh…the elevators. The biggest star sighting was seeing Diana Ross in the elevator. The doors opened and I was right there to see this regal beauty, I swear she looked seven feet tall. It was a moment, one I will never forget. She had such amazing presence. Shortly after that, I also saw John Travolta and that was JUST as special, maybe even more so. I was covering the front desk of the executive floor as a favor for a friend. The telephone board was so confusing and I was trying really hard not to lose anyone! When I finally caught a breath, I looked up and into the beautiful, warm, enchanting eyes of a very young John Travolta. He didn’t want to interrupt ME so he waited until I looked up. He was such a sweet young man, with wonderful manners and a smile that was brilliant. He then thanked me with a big grin and a wink!
I saw other “celebrities” but some were cranky or had attitude. A true star, to me, is one that is beautiful not only outside but inside as well. Thank you, John Travolta. Love, The Young Me

for MaryBeth C.  who made every day fun! I hope we can reconnect.

Rumors, The Golden Globes And Ricky Gervais

Image by funkypancake via Flickr

“What do George Clooney, Tom Cruise, Josh Groban and John Travolta have in common?” Yes, they are all great actors/singers and celebrities. What else? They are all handsome in their own way. Other than that?  I’ll tell you. What they all have in common is that there have been many rumors swirling around for years that they are all gay: “NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT’ as the writers on the late, great Seinfeld show would say.

Who cares? Not me. Ricky Gervais threw out a line last night from The Golden Globe Awards mentioning two leading men who were known for their involvement in Scientology and for their homosexuality. Meow. I did think that was a little over the line but I’m sure some people salivated, nodded their heads up and down and smirked. It was rather forthright, but I expect that from Ricky Gervais, he is an unpredictable comedian. He was hired to amuse and to provoke people and apparently he did just that.

Some celebrities feel comfortable about coming out, i.e. the lovely Ellen Degeneres, others not so much. That’s alright. Not everyone has to go through life waving a flag for the rainbow coalition. It’s your choice….however if you are covering it up and lying, people with whisper.  It hasn’t been long enough for everyone living in the closet to swing open the door proudly. Personally I go for truth over lies any day but there are still people in the world that would not like a leading man to be gay, to them, it just doesn’t fit. Tom Cruise, John Travolta are stars in their own right and both involved heavily in Scientology. Their personal live are their own but it would be nice for them to set it straight (no pun intended.) It seemed that it was perfectly alright that two straight men Jake Gyllenthal and  Heath Ledger  played gay lovers in Brokeback Mountain. What’s up with the double standard?

What I don’t understand is that some celebrities get maliciously outed ( ok, villified) by “entertainment” magazines and by the media. What causes one star to get the slick, slippery red carpet of secrecy and others get thrown to the wolves or in this case, the press. Is there money involved? I’m not suggesting it I’m just trying to figure it all out.

Why do we even talk about it?  Curiosity. We want the truth and don’t want people pretending they are something they are not. I  I would still listen to Josh Groben’s angelic voice as often as I do now. I would see good movies if the movies were good not if their characters were gay or not. It’s 2011, I’m sorry people still feel the need, and they do, to hide their homosexuality but that is their right.

Why do we want to know what’s real and what is fake? Because they are celebrities and they are in our lives through movies, commercials, ads, talk shows, the media and magazines at the supermarket check out counters. So, come clean if you want to, we’re all here to listen. Yes, it is a little like jumping into a lake of ice water. First, there is the initial shock but very soon  everyone adjusts, jumps out or swims incredibly fast to get over that very first hurdle. Your fans are here and we are listening and waiting; for, hopefully, the truth.

My Favorite Celebrity

Image by nayrb7 via Flickr

Oprah? Ellen? BOTH!

Ellen DeGeneres

This one would have been a no-brainer until about a year ago. Oprah was my girl, I love the things she does for people. I love the book groups, love how open she is and the difference she has made in the world. But now, I also love Ellen, pretty much for the same reasons. She’s funny, she makes me feel happy after I watch her show, she’s generous. She doesn’t have a book club, nor has she opened a school in Africa but that’s fine: she makes me laugh and has a huge heart. I have to admit with the economy the way it is (horrible), unemployment and the fear of terrorist attacks, I just want to forget reality, if only for an hour or two per day. I really don’t want more drama, so I turn to Ellen (while I tape Oprah). I want comedy and sunshine and the ability to forget my own troubles and I want so desperately to laugh. Both women have changed the world with their generosity and kindness, with their honesty and with their passion. My favorite celebrity? Let’s just call her: “ELLPRAH.” The best of both wonderful, smart and generous, women. I’m proud to be a fan.

Mel Gibson, I’ve Always *STRONGLY DISLIKED You

In my first draft of this post, the title was:” Mel Gibson I’ ve always *hated you.”Dislike just seemed way too much of an understatement. After reading and posting that draft, I realized I was being hypocritical by using the word “hate,” since then I wouldn’t be much better ( ok, that’s debatable) than Mel Gibson himself.  However, there is not a single, solitary thing I like about Mel Gibson, including his acting, his movies, his racist and anti-semitic rants and his abuse towards women. I’m not even saying alleged abuse since apparently he admitted this on tape.

I have no patience for fools, and certainly no patience for those who speak out with hatred and evil. I am not representing one race or one religion here, I represent them all. Mel Gibson, you make me sick. While I have never paid a dime to see any of your work you can rest assured I will NEVER pay a cent now. For people to pay good money to watch depravity and evil is a sin.

Don’t start with the 5th amendment either. I don’t care. I don’t like you, I don’t respect you and I don’t care if you are addicted to alcohol. Just don’t, please don’t, end up in “rehab” and say it wasn’t your fault. I’m sick of it. I was sick of it with Tiger Woods and I am sick of it here too. Don’t even get me started on Lindsay Lohan….

I actually happened to see a few minutes of the show “The View” where they were talking about Mel Gibson. Whoopi Goldberg, a woman and actress I deeply admire, was telling the co-presenters and the audience that “Mel Gibson was a friend, and she had never seen him act like this in front of her.” While I admire her allegiance to her friend, I question what she was thinking and what point she was trying to make. Yes, alcohol does make you do stupid and bad things but it doesn’t mean, just because he hasn’t acted that way in your presence, it hasn’t happened. I think we all know better.

Put me on “The View” I’m just in the mood to battle with Elizabeth Hasselback and high-five Joy Behar. As for Whoppi Goldberg? You are entitled to your feelings and your truth. But, while you defend your friend, try to make sure, to keep an open mind. See how he interacts with his other friends, girlfriend, people of different religions and races.

I’ve lost patience with all these so-called movie stars or celebrities. How about us admiring a person because they are good, because they are nice, and give plenty to charity? How about we make no exceptions for movie stars and celebrities because they are “famous.”  Famous for what?