Santa, Would You Consider This Idea?

Dear Santa,

I haven’t moved from my bed in three days and I don’t feel bad about it either. Sure, I go upstairs and downstairs but I haven’t even exposed my bare shivering cold body to the shower, I have to plan for that. My goal is to shower tonight but more likely it will be tomorrow sometime in the morning after a good night’s sleep.

It is this horrific change in temperature and while I could blame it all on Fibromyalgia and many of my physical disabilities I am not going to do that. For me, it sounds like I’m staging a revolution of sorts, a sit in from the sixties (“I told you, year after year, how much I HATE the cold weather” ) which is entirely childish but so definitely true.

I don’t want to leave my house (okay bed and blankets) to go outside where the wind blows right through me and I can’t find a glove/mitten made warm enough to keep my fingers toasty. Does such a thing really exist? I’m doubtful. If so, can you please send me a pair or two?

Honestly, how anyone except teenagers would want those texting gloves is totally beyond me. I just don’t get this texting craziness and I never will. I do know I stink at technology which my children make fun of me endlessly. The trouble is I don’t care about it, not the phone or the computer, they have no real value to me. They are “things,” just like my car. They serve a purpose but I wouldn’t go crazy if there was a scratch or two on it. Please. My kids were practically born with these gadgets, I was not and I have no interest in them.

I want a phone to reach a loved one or AAA if my car breaks down, a computer to write my blogs and a camera for photos on my phone. That’s about it. I don’t use 99 percent of the phone’s functions to begin with and maybe, maybe, I know half of one percent of what the stupid phone can do, if that.

I am waiting for the first frost and snowfall, I know it is coming any day now. The bad weather, ice storms, sleet, leave me home bound (not that I am complaining) but I’m terrified of falling on the ice and breaking bones. Been there, done that, many times. Look, some people are penguins and love sashaying and skiing through the snow and others, like me, prefer warmer climates. There is nothing wrong with that, except when you are a sun worshiper, living close to the North Pole. I truly love you Santa

but I don’t exactly want to be your neighbor. Have your ever considered two locations?

Is there an island for people who prefer warmer climates? Send me there, to the South Pole Annex. Why must everything take place in the North Pole?  I will take care of all the boys and girls, elves, helpers, reindeer who fail the Winter test  and I will love them, take care of them and appreciate them. You can count on me, Santa, you know I love animals, misfits and all.  Please consider this as my Christmas wish. To be somewhere warmer, yet close to you, as always, in my heart.

Thanks.
Love,
Santa 2 To Be?

singing the icy cold blues

Icy blue

Icy blue (Photo credit: GustavoG)

i’m either coming down with the mamas blues or the cold/ flu blues because something just doesn’t feel right. oh lord these bitter cold temperatures are really hurting me, hurting my chronic pain bones and muscles. we went outside for five minutes, i started coughing and couldn’t stop. now my eyes are welling up but you know me, that could be for already missing my son who is leaving tomorrow to go back to school. the anticipation of him coming home after birthright was so intense and seeing his smiling cheerful face at the airport and after looking at his photographs and the way he spoke, he grew up a lot. he could understand how i felt too.  i just need a little alone time for transitions, 24 hours at most for this. he’s leaving home again but i think it’s mostly because he was overseas and i was so eager for him to be back in the u.s. and the excitement of it all. sharing my old memories with him.

dan and i both like when the kids are at school and we have time to ourselves and i don’t have to make 3 different meals that gets old so fast. but tonight, i just want to cry because everything moves so quickly, that what i had been waiting for, was over like a snap of my red, frozen fingers in the icy air that stung like a bunch of angry wasps or bees.

our daughter has been back to her college for a week already and she couldn’t wait to go back to school to be with her friends. i didn’t blame her, she was bored out of  her mind here and we were getting a little annoyed too. sitting in her bedroom watching tv and eating was doing us all in. if her brother hadn’t gone away for 10 days he would have been bored to pieces also. two very different personalities, he always needed to be entertained, always, “mama, play with me” endlessly while she (more like me in that sense) could play by herself with her toys and dolls and stuffed animals for quite a long time, happily.

two children, well, young adults, our son is 20 and our daughter is 18, they will always be our children to us, but they are not children any longer. i used to have a lot of their baby pictures around, special ones, but last year i put them away because it hurt too much to see them. when they loved and needed me best. i needed to realign my life away from the past and guide it to the future.

i try to keep my life, our lives in the present but once in a while, like tonight, one can get a short stabbing pain or two, getting older, watching our amazing children having fun. i think sometimes we are envious. once in a while i focus on the sadder things to come in the future but i work hard to “not meet trouble halfway.”  i know now i will readjust my focus, for 15 minutes and do something soothing, i will feel better physically tomorrow. i will listen to music to energize or soothe me. maybe i will write without punctuation, without editing and capitals, i always loved e.e.cummings., the poet, when i was young. i can turn my head back now and laugh. everything is going to be alright. we are all responsible for ourselves. please don’t forget that, me, and every single being.it’s so important. may your life be a good one, may you help it to be even better.