Overeating, Not So Anonymously

 

A STREAM OF BAD THINGS, HEARING ABOUT A WOMAN ATTEMPTING TO HURT HER CAT, A CHILD SCREAMING AND COULDN'T TRACE THE SOUND... AND EATING WAY TOO MUCH  FOOD, ICE CREAM, COOKIES AND CANDY. NOT MONITORING MY EATING AND EATING EMOTIONALLY.....UH OH.

The fact that I am ( trying to) stop my out of control eating tomorrow does not make me feel better tonight. In fact it makes me feel worse because no matter what I look like or how much I weigh, I will always be that chubby girl who hated going shopping, out of pure dread and embarrassment, with my mother years ago.( still hate going shopping.) I can't even put together an outfit. It's been jeans and tee shirts and sneakers for the last 50 years or so. I can clean up nicely when I have to but then I am in excruciating pain having no shoes that are comfortable for more than three minutes. My new glasses are absolutely adorable, I cut my hair and I'm in pretty good shape (such a big fat lie) but for the last week I'm eating way too much.

Those same old symptoms are rearing their ugly monster heads like those green goober monsters in the cold decongestant commercials. Not just a “want” for food but a “need” to eat. It isn’t pretty.

It’s sugar, yes, pizza too, but deep-fried mozzarella sticks?

These looked especially delightful and my daughter did ask for me to help her eat them? How could I say no? That’s my point. In the past, I could have said “No thanks” very easily but yesterday, the breading was not just bread crumbs it had texture far more refined than even panko bread crumbs. Little bumps, a crispy and soft combination of thick breading with an ample amount of melting mozzarella cheese inside and a delicious tomato sauce to dip in.

I could have refused. I didn’t.

We all know that I have to love my dinner on Sundays, that’s a cardinal rule but did I have to love it that much that I needed two or three desserts? A pre-dessert and two or three others? No, no, no.

What is going on here? I hate that my white pants are tight, starting tomorrow I’m exercising and eating only healthy foods. Ugh, true confessions: I forgot to mention the huge home-made jelly doughnut from the local bakery that I ate after the pizza, mozzarella sticks and salad with avocado, craisins, goat cheese and spinach. I live for these jelly doughnuts available (thank goodness) only on Sunday mornings.

I love food way too much. Tonight, the last night of our family being home together, the night before my handsome son leaves to go back to school, we are going out for Chinese food which is basically mostly vegetables and rice. Right? I like to fool myself as much as possible. Except that after watching one of the food shows with my husband we saw  a freshly made egg roll glistening on the television screen. I HAD to have it. For all the things I forget, this morsel was fresh in my mind.

I must have a little more control (tomorrow) to end this eating madness. I know I have no control over anything else in my life now, and I can’t change that so this IS one thing I can control. Eating healthier and getting more exercise???? I’m going to work on THAT NEXT.

 

PS I am not a fan of dark chocolate, I prefer milk chocolate so if I have a square or two of dark chocolate it is purely medicinal. That doesn’t count as dessert.
***Next day: I made it through the day without dessert which for me is a miracle. I am not starving myself at all, I am eating healthy foods and trying to drink more water. Eating smaller portions and eating sensibly is the way to do it. I hope I can do it for a week but I’m proud of just one day,
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Plinky Prompt: Describe The Perfect Meal

  • Describe the perfect meal.
  • A Foodie Begs
  • Welcome To My Food Fantasy (Any Famous Chef Want To Make It Come True?)
  • Beef Wellington You are talking to a foodie here so I take this question very SERIOUSLY. I’m not just going to say “chicken dumpling soup” or “steak and a potato.” Oh No, details count and while I can’t cook very well, I can eat and enjoy food in a restaurant with the greatest of pleasure……Let us begin.I would start with an appetizer of shrimp cocktail and lobster meat (fresh not canned) with cocktail sauce and of course a lemon wedge or two. Here’s the thing, I would eat practically anything BECAUSE of the cocktail sauce. As my brother-in-law, Ron would say, the shrimp/lobster is just THE VEHICLE, well said, Ron. There would be a basket of rolls (an assortment) on the table “Timmy approved” which means they would be warm. DO NOT SERVE US COLD ROLLS AND COLD BUTTER, EVER. After that, a light salad, with a sprinkle of goat cheese, currants and avocado. The greens would be watercress, endive and Boston Lettuce. The dressing, a citrus vinagrette with balsamic vinegar.The main course: Mmmmm… It would be hard to choose between filet mignon or Beef Wellington (which is an OLD classic but this is MY fantasy) served with a crunchy baked potato (baked in the oven and NOT in the microwave, and yes, I do eat the skin, with huge dollops of butter, sour cream and chives) and glazed carrots. (A refill on the bread basket? That would be lovely, thank you.)To the disappointment of my family I do not like any type of alcohol so I would have a Shirley Temple, extra cherries, please. Ok, I’m sorry.Dessert: I’M SO EXCITED!! That said, there is no way I could pick one dessert so because this is my fantasy I would have the dessert sampler platter which happens to include: a piece of a raspberry/currant exploding tart (I had this in Vienna with my dad, once!) the berries explode in your mouth with a sugar crumble pie top, a fudge brownie with walnuts (served with home-made vanilla bean ice cream), a piece of NY Cheesecake with Strawberry Sauce and one real strawberry and Creme Brulee.Since we are lingering at this fantasy meal, after this I would like a cheese platter consisting of St. André, (no blue cheese) Gouda, Edam and is Münster too common? (Oh, who cares, I love it.)On my way out, I would like to be handed a small box (just two pieces) of chocolate, to be exact, two champagne truffles.Wow, I’m full, but it has been delightful fantasizing. Thanks for dining with me. If anyone would like to make this dream come true, feel free to email me. My RSVP will be a definite “Yes.”