Wanted: Funny 50 ish Woman To Work For Jimmy Fallon Show

Dear Jimmy,

I am responding to your ad that was featured in “The Senior Funny Lady Times.” I am well within the limits of your age requirements, not that I think that there should be requirements at all (I hope you checked with your legal department) but that is just my opinion.

First, and this is not a matter of mere sucking up, as the kids say:  my husband and I watch your show, every single night. I admit, we tape the show and watch it the following night with bowls of ice cream

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in our hands but I don’t think that is unreasonable .(Hey, how did I miss this? )

I’ve already admitted we are not in our twenties anymore, so why not? Actually, tonight we are having our usual dessert (called D) smorgasbord. A combination of mango sorbet, banana-chocolate ice cream, Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food Frozen Yogurt (We are watching our weight) Ben & Jerry’s “That’s My Jam” ice cream (we’re not that strict) and Straeter’s (I have to turn you on to this ice cream) Black Cherry Chip (which should be called Chunk ice cream.) Believe it or not, my cardiologist whose father was my pediatrician hooked us up with this brand. Hooked up in the OLD sense, I don’t even want to know what the new usage IS.

I would like to point out that as much as you are our favorite comedian and of course our favorite show, there is one thing you may want to consider changing. PLEASE think of another opening other than “Hot Crowd.” Once in a while it’s funny, every night, not so much. I mean this with utter respect and comic relief.

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You have brought comedy, wholesomeness and joy back to the country and I thank you for doing that for our nation. I now pronounce you “The New Shirley Temple” and I cried when she died.

View image | gettyimages.com

So, Jimmy, feel free to look through my blog and then, get in touch with me. It could be one of those Oprah phone calls where I would never believe you are on the phone for real. Send a car for me, because G-d knows, I’m NOT driving into the city and we will talk. I’m flexible about writing for you, shmoozing,comedy, whatever you need. I’ll even watch your adorable girls from time to time in a pinch.

My own kids are amazing, I have a “boy” who is graduating from Binghamton and he is going to Med School in the Fall and a cracker-jack “girl” in Geneseo, who is a Junior and will have a double major in Spanish and Pre-Law.

How did we get them to SUNY’s? Basically, we bribed them with new cars.

Nice talking to you, Jimmy

Congratulations on your beautiful family.

Sincerely yours,

ME

 

 

 

And In The End…

Happy New Year 2013 (Photo credit: Mark Kens)

Last post of 2112:

After my rather solemn afternoon,(see the post before this one: https://hibernationnow.wordpress.com/2012/12/31/bloody-foolish-me/) I pulled myself together and we had a wonderful early dinner as a family, the food was exquisite and our children 18 and 20, entertained us, as usual. The no fighting/no texting rule was in effect. There was much laughter and seriously good food. For my foodies (and I am one of them, here is most of the menu)  Appetizer: There was a choice of raw tuna with tofu, lobster bisque or gnocchi with mushrooms. I chose the gnocchi, our son chose the bisque and my husband ordered the raw (really hard for me not to say EEW) tuna and tofu. I’m trying to be serious here, it’s tough! Our daughter had a salad for an appetizer. You will see why later.

For our entrees: choice of filet mignon (yes, please for the three of us) with mashed potatoes and mushrooms that tasted like frizzled onions, were divine. I eat red meat about once every six months and I dare say, I enjoyed it. Our daughter (the vegetarian) had the gnocchi as a main dish, no mushrooms, in a tomato sauce. In my opinion, they should have stayed with the white (cream?) sauce that we had and my daughter agreed. The other options were…..I have no idea as soon as we saw the filet mignon we didn’t concentrate, sorry. Wait, my husband said there was also chicken and a seafood risotto and maybe something else. He also said once he saw the steak he couldn’t concentrate. On the table there were slices of dark raisin/walnut bread and some hard wheat bread.(Okay, so I ordered more bread for the table so I could have two slices of the raisin walnut bread with butter.) It was an occasion( and I have been eating like a bunny.)

For dessert there were three options: Linzer torte (we’re HERE!!!) or chocolate mousse cake with coffee crunch ice cream ( or vanilla) and pumpkin cheesecake that we all laughed about. My husband and I could not decide so we ordered one linzer torte and one chocolate mousse and split both in half. Sometimes, you just need both. They also offered sorbet ( seriously?) but our family doesn’t even count that as an option but they did offer it so I thought I should tell you.

It’s New Year’s Eve and I’m grateful. Grateful for my loving family, grateful I got through the day and that I talked to both my sister and my mother, grateful I can put my nightshirt on soon. I will feel happier when my daughter texts me when she arrives at her destination, moms worry like that, yup, we do.

To all my readers, I am GRATEFUL for you. Thank you for keeping me going, for your comments, for your dedication. I’m about to reach 1,000 posts really soon!!

This would not be complete if I did not acknowledge some very special friends that I feel extremely close to (even though I have never met them in person) These women I feel honored to call my friends and my support system. I actually feel closer to these women than some that live around the block. I mean that with all my heart and as they know, I wear my heart on my sleeve.  Great love and hugs to: Judy/Judith, Maureen, Rosemary, Ash, Michelle, and Tammy. I LOVE all of you. If your name is not mentioned I swear I came to a complete blank. You know who you are, please forgive me and just write your names in here _________________ and ___________________. I apologize.

Wishing you all a HAPPY AND HEALTHY 2013.

WITH LOVE,

From me, Hibernationnow.wordpress.com

Laurie xoxoxo

Plinky Prompt: TV Habits

A recreation of the logo for the first American Survivor season, Survivor: Borneo. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

• TV Habits
• TV: It’s Better Than Drinking or Smoking
  Emmys 2009 Well, there’s Grey’s Anatomy and of course Private Practice (they are practically connected by blood.) There’s Parenthood (which took the place of Brothers and Sisters which some moron took off the air.) Modern Family is a must see and I do admit my husband and I found ourselves back again, after many years, watching the last season of Survivor. I know……we swore we would never watch it again, but times were hard, and reality can be such a bitch that for one hour a week we sat on our faux leather couch, shut the door to the family room and escaped to whatever paradise island they were in. I’m not proud but I’m not ashamed. We may even watch it next season too……sometimes all you need is a little fantasy, your spouse’s arm around your shoulders and escapism. Besides, it was good to see Jeff Probst again, like a long-lost friend; there’s something comforting about that.

Plinky Prompt: Would You Ever Take A Cruise?

• Cruisin’
• “The Love Boat”
  DSC01216, Midnight Buffet, Celebrity Cruise Ship Century I have taken a cruise and yes, I would go again. If you are on a cruise it really doesn’t matter what the destination is, it’s the journey there and back that truly counts. I’m not sure I would do it again for a long time. Cruises, known for their gastronomical, orgasmic and plentiful meals are both aphrodisiacs and toxic for people like me. I’m not sure I could resist overeating and gluttony on a cruise (let’s face it: no way) and lately I have been eating healthy foods. That said, I think everyone should go on a cruise once. Being out on the water, is so peaceful, I can’t think of anything better than watching the waves from your deck chair in the sun. Take advantage of the shows that the cruise offers too, they are often very entertaining.
  As long as I am still able to travel and fly, I would like to go to another country and explore it instead of cruising to a destination for a few hours, shopping at a local tourist shop and heading back. Cruises can be magical, the midnight buffets with the ornate ice sculptures are overwhelmingly beautiful; everyone should experience that, at least once.

The Last Engaging Conversation You Had (Plinky Prompt)

Image via Wikipedia

• An Engaging Conversation
• Laundrymat My brother-in-law, Ron. He’s the younger brother I never had and thus, he’s the only one who can tease me about my advanced age (because he is a year younger.) We don’t talk often but when we do and have the time (like today) we can speak for over an hour easily. We talked about family, friends, trends (I need to fill him in on this stuff) our brilliant ideas that we have come up with together (hint: washing clothes). I ask him questions, he asks me; we delight at comparing stories, movies (the new Woody Allen movie) meals. Before I married my husband, Ron and I were good friends, we ate out, we talked, he always kept an eye on me when my soon-to-be-husband was still living in Maryland. I truly appreciated that back then and I have never forgotten it. More importantly, he helped keep a creepy, pesky gray mouse (and his relatives) out of the apartment that I was living in. I am terrified of mice (“Eek Eek A Mouse”) I still have the image in my mind of Ron, intense and hard-working filling in mouse exits and entrances with steel wool like he was working on a deeply important project. He was, I was hysterical. He has my back, I have his. P.S. I did have an image of a REAL mouse on here but it freaked me out so much I had to change it to the only mouse I will ever like, a fake one and Mickey.
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My Top Celebrity Sightings

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When I was “oh so very young” I worked at Paramount Pictures in the Corporate Offices on the East Coast. I never did anything remotely related with stars but oh…the elevators. The biggest star sighting was seeing Diana Ross in the elevator. The doors opened and I was right there to see this regal beauty, I swear she looked seven feet tall. It was a moment, one I will never forget. She had such amazing presence. Shortly after that, I also saw John Travolta and that was JUST as special, maybe even more so. I was covering the front desk of the executive floor as a favor for a friend. The telephone board was so confusing and I was trying really hard not to lose anyone! When I finally caught a breath, I looked up and into the beautiful, warm, enchanting eyes of a very young John Travolta. He didn’t want to interrupt ME so he waited until I looked up. He was such a sweet young man, with wonderful manners and a smile that was brilliant. He then thanked me with a big grin and a wink!
I saw other “celebrities” but some were cranky or had attitude. A true star, to me, is one that is beautiful not only outside but inside as well. Thank you, John Travolta. Love, The Young Me

for MaryBeth C.  who made every day fun! I hope we can reconnect.

My Boredom Cures

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Books, Movies, TV, Blogging, Music, Writing, Computer, Books…..Still bored after all those options? Get a grip! I’m generally not bored, and I’m generally not fussy. I’ve always been able to occupy my “alone” time. In childhood, our mom said I was happy to play in my room all by myself but that my older sister needed to be entertained all the time. I see that with my own children now: my oldest child needs to be entertained and my second born is more content and doesn’t mind alone time (though she probably wouldn’t admit to it). Maybe it has to do with birth order.  The first-born child does get undivided attention, where us second born (or babies) have never known anything else except sharing. We’ve never had undivided attention. Maybe it’s a coping mechanism or just maybe we are more content. Or it’s simply a personality issue. Alone time, to me, doesn’t mean I’m bored, it means I’m comfortable with myself.

Pop Cop: Lindsey Lohan (Get A Grip)

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I read today that the quintessential Lindsey Lohan is headed back to rehab for violating the terms of her probation. Really. If it were up to me I would  boot her skinny white ass to jail where, I think, she belongs. Forgive me for being crass but let’s take the rich, glamorous, Hollywood glitz and celebrity status out of this situation and then do the math.  Replace Lindsey Lohan’s name with an UNKNOWN drug addict from ANYWHERE:  Hawaii, Nevada, Florida, New York, a tiny crack house in Los Angeles ( you pick) and then hand down your verdict. Remove the expensive lawyers, the media frenzy and the public’s fascination for Hollywood and where does that leave you? Probably in jail, with the rest of the people who don’t have a ton of money for rich, top-notch lawyers. If this case involved an unknown, “regular” person would they too receive the “get out of jail free” card? Not in my opinion. I don’t think they would get the same number of chances when they relapsed either.

How many “do-overs” would we get for the same exact crime?  Many people have drug and alcohol addictions and I am sure its an extremely difficult thing to go through but, in my personal opinion, it was made easier for Ms. Lohan.

I’m sick of a justice system that allows a young addict like Lindsey Lohan to go back to a rehab program instead of sharing a cell in the county jail (oh right, I forgot, she had her own private cell when she was in jail.)  Where is her orange jumpsuit now? What privileges have been taken away from her? They even removed the SCRAM bracelet that detects drugs and alcohol from her fragile, famed, skinny, ankle.

What’s next for Lindsey Lohan after rehab? Perhaps a movie career, a modeling job or a talk show host for the daytime diva.  I seem to be missing the part where she is supposed to say “I am totally responsible for my actions.” I don’t know what will happen to Ms. Lohan after her stint in rehab; I have no idea, nor do I truly care. In all likelihood she will be able to work on her clothing line in rehab and will reap the financial rewards when she gets discharged.

Will Lindsey Lohan go the route of Anna Nicole Smith? It’s a possibility, I’m sure. It’s in her best interest to finally get herself clean, I’m just not sure if she can stay clean and sober. For her sake, I hope she does. She has brought this upon herself, partying to all hours of the night with her friends; touting liquor like it was her favorite lipstick. Get clean Lindsey, you’ve been given yet another chance. Don’t mess it up.

GLEE- ful

It’s Tuesday and I am happy, you could say i was gleeful. Groan, I know.  Tonight I get to watch Glee, unfortunately it’s the finale. Is there anyone out there who doesn’t know what Glee is? It’s a phenomenon. It’s a very creative show for kids, teenagers and adults; for anyone who cares about music, song and dance.  I started watching this amazing television show with my daughter; I admit I wasn’t an instant fan.  After a quick break I came running back on Tuesday nights apologetically to watch it again and I haven’t stopped since. I admit it; my daughter was right and I was wrong. In our family that sentence is like gold.

Is it embarrassing for a mom to admit that she loves the show? Maybe. Those talented kids, the wonderful cast. Did you see the duet with Lea and her biological mom? Breathtaking. Yes, I bought the song from iTunes and have played it a mere 49 times so far. Unfortunately, the famous Susan Boyle who first sang the song has faded into history for me now. With all due respect, Ms. Boyle, your time for me is over, blame it all on Glee.

I am grateful and impressed that this show showcases all types of people, different races and religions, the handicapped, different sexual orientations; the characters are all fully developed; that’s rare. When I saw Coach Sue interact so sweetly with her sister I wanted to cry, it was so tender and perfect.  Glee develops each character fully, they are multi-faceted human beings not caricatures. These actors play real people, imperfect, flawed, delightful and charming people, most of all they are incredibly talented.

That’s what life is all about, we all have many pieces to ourselves. Thanks to Glee’s creators for bringing this charming show into our lives for allowing us to enter a world where it is okay to be flawed, where it is expected and accepted. Thank you for teaching us all how to grow and look at people differently, more openly. There’s beautiful music from Madonna to Les Miserables, exposing all of us to a whole new world of music,and a new way of looking at life.

Give it up for Glee.

Pop Cop: The Who?

I am not a big fan of football and frankly, did not watch the Superbowl with the exception of the half-time show and the commercials.  What I learned from Sunday night’s game is not a greater understanding of football but really, how very old I was. Apparently there was a large amount of people , ok, young people who had no idea who The Who was. Who, they asked?  The Who, we answered which give way to a lot of head shaking, grumbling and some requests for people that the kids at least knew and liked. The Who was not it.

Bruce Springsteen is someone we can all relate to. Paul McCartney too. Bring on Beyonce and The Black Eyed Peas. But, The Who? It really dated the viewing audience and from what I heard the performance was not a spectacular one.

Maybe next year they will select a half-time performance that we can all enjoy. Like that’s possible.