Here, there and everywhere (Carry on Tuesday)

Woman with natural red hair

Woman with natural red hair (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Every day one makes hundreds and hundreds of decisions. Moira had never thought about it like that. Like the red freckles on her very freckled face or the stars in the galaxy we make decisions that affect our lives all the time. You might think that you make one decision here or there like what to wear or what to make for dinner but there are decisions to be made in every specific detail of your life. You probably just don’t realize it.

In less than an hour, Moira, the young beauty with the red hair and freckles decides when to get out of bed, changes her mind and goes back to sleep. At some point she will wake up, actually move her sleepy feet to the soft, gray carpet, get out of bed and decide whether to shower. She will pick out clothes, (should I wear pants or a skirt?) for college and get dressed. Moira still hasn’t left her yellow and white-flowered patterned bedroom. She heads to the loo to brush her teeth and wash her face and tries to put on a little make-up with little success.

After she has decided what to wear, she gets dressed and heads down to the kitchen because she decides she wants a lovely cup of tea. She puts on the kettle, selects the tea she wants and sits down to slowly sip her tea. She looks at her wristband watch and sees she has twenty more minutes before she needs to leave for college. She makes toast with orange marmalade and relaxes for 10 more minutes. Then, she decides it’s time to leave, gets her jacket and purse and heads out the door.

You think you don’t have any control in your life? That you make no decisions and that people make decisions for you? This is just one hour in our young Moira’s life. Decisions on what to do are everywhere; keep your eyes open and be aware of them. You are in control of your life, as much as anyone is: just break it down into little moments, like the individual strands of the fiery red hair that surround Moira’s beautiful, porcelain face.

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Monday Mellow Yellows: Sunset

The Final Setting of the Sun at Birling Gap

The Final Setting of the Sun at Birling Gap (Photo credit: antonychammond)

Living in the Northeast, my soul longs for a sunny, warm day. These past months have been nothing but bitter cold weather and gray skies. I long to feel the warmth on my pale shoulders, to lift my head and feel the soft glow of the summer’s heat. I want to stay at the beach all day with family and friends and be there for the show that the sunset brings where everybody watches and when the sun sets, we all applaud. A free, masterful performance, once again. Thank you, dear sunset for that magical show.

My Freckles Are Spreading, No Really

Ashton Kutcher at Time 100 Gala

Image via Wikipedia

I was in a small shopping mall last week and I passed a mirror and I thought, for a quick second, that I saw my reflection. No, that couldn’t be me. I must have seen someone else. Whoever it was, looked bloated, tired, pale and cranky. She was wearing a green shirt, and mom jeans with protruding stomach rolls, and she was frowning furiously that showed deep wrinkle lines.  That’s NOT me! Um, but I am wearing the same outfit and my eyes are green…..

Maybe the mirror I looked in was one of those funny mirrors that they use in amusement parks, or pranks!  I looked around for Ashton Kutcher because I thought I was being  “Punked”or at the very least, pranked. Ashton, however  was no where in sight and the only camera looking at me was a security camera following my every, suspicious move.

That old, sad, mad, fat person warily looking back at me made me want to weep and hide in some stranger’s musty attic or move to Canada or better yet, Italy. I can give good advice to others about positive body image but it wasn’t working for me today.  Today, I flunked the course.  I  ordered a chopped salad for lunch (appetizer size) and I had that lovely tiny slice of Italian cheesecake with the essence of orange, but don’t those things cancel each other out?

If big, cranky, frowning lady wasn’t enough I also saw that there is now something quite wrong with my skin. I’ve always had that pale, cream-cheese complexion but things are changing.  My freckles are joining together; I’m sure that’s what it must be.  It couldn’t be the dreaded old age spots, could it? This day just keeps getting better and better.

Just one more thing: I remembered the cashier at A & P  who asked me my age. I was so confused…..until she told me that Seniors, 55 and older get 5% off their bill on Tuesdays. It was Tuesday and while I am not 55, I’m really damn close. So, thanks for the discount but your people skills stink.

I know all the reasons why women gain weight in their, (cough, cough) mid to later years and I lend these pearls of wisdom to friends as easily as I would a  button-down blue sweater. My own body crashed with Menopause, followed closely by an Underactive Thyroid condition and an Auto-immune Disease called Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. After that, I was diagnosed with  Fibromyalgia. But, today I’m just not buying it. I don’t care, I just know how awful I feel. Today, I am allowing myself to sulk.

Maybe tomorrow I will be able to put things in perspective. I will remember that good health is more important than weight, that I have a wonderful family and I am grateful for so many things. As for the cheesecake? It was worth every bite. The mirror? That, was pure evil.