Juan Pablo, Go Away (Pop Cop)

The Pitons from offshore, St. Lucia (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Bachelor (US TV series) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I admit, I stooped to a new low when I decided to watch pity-party television the last two or three weeks. Mea Culpa. I watched part of “The Bachelor” for the first time in my life. I’m still putting my foot down on Dancing With The Stars but I have no doubt if things get worse, I’ll be watching that too.

I really don’t know what the big deal is about the “charming” Juan Pablo. To me, he’s a handsome (I’ll give him that,) rude, jerk. He, in no way, knows how to treat women and from my point of view the only thing I envy about him is where he lives. Oh, come on, don’t you dream of living in St. Lucia?

Those cleverly placed ads to fly to St. Lucia, worked for me. Like I’m sure they did for thousands of men and women who said to their partners “Honey, I wanna go to St. Lucia….” For us it is NOT an option, financially, but if I should win the lottery? I would be there with my family and keep my gorgeous 19-year-old daughter far away from him. Seriously, far, far away from him with her older brother as a well-paid security guard.

I think JP is a chauvinist, but I also think the concept of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette is kind of creepy. I’m sure you are too young to remember this but I much preferred the old-fashioned “Dating Game” (Google it.) I agree it was totally moronic but at least I didn’t have to watch everybody’s tongue pushed down everybody else’s throat. (Imagine the germs!)  I am shocked that Purell is not a sponsor or at least Listerine, you missed your chance. If you sponsor now, my readers will know it was MY IDEA. Royalties should be sent to:
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Furthermore, what messages are we showing our children? It’s on at 8pm and I do know parents who watch this show with their kids. Believe me, I am saying the same thing about The Bachelorette  (Andi) who is the only contestant I truly admire. She is razor-sharp, has a law degree and will not take insincerity from anyone. She called Juan Pablo out on his lack of emotion, being rude and his total sense of self. (Read: ego.)  She tried to challenge him and you know what happened? Nothing. The man had zero affect, he was the same all the time, every time.

The most he could conjure up was “Ees okay.” Listen Ricky Ricardo” “Ees obviously NOT okay. Grow up. Take a few courses in Women’s Studies, actually MAJOR in it.

Begrudgingly I do have to admit that Juan Pablo’s culture is different from all the women and I think that may be a reason? Believe me, I am in no way, defending him but perhaps this is a way to understand him? I know, I’m pushing it…

Andi, you definitely were my fan favorite: incredibly smart, you knew yourself and obviously Juan Pablo, sure you got swayed but hey, who doesn’t like a little romance? No fault of yours at all. I swore I wouldn’t watch this show ever again but with you as a Bachelorette? I’ll have to think twice.

As for Juan Pablo, get over yourself. You’re cute, big deal. “EES NOT ENOUGH FOR US.”

9 And A Half Minutes, Episode 1

Image by sugu via Flickr

Tick Tock, Tick Tock. Welcome to another edition of 9 and a half minutes. A place where I mention the things that annoy me. First up: SPAM. If you are going to send out this trash can’t you make the effort to spell “dear” CORRECTLY? It’s always misspelled and it’s in all  lower case letters :”hello deaer.” This bugs me. Not to mention that I get hundreds of junk mail every day and yes, I do, have a SPAM filter.  I am OCD about the amount the junk mail that I get so I need to check it and delete it frequently. It’s supposed to automatically delete in one month but that never happens. Every day I get the following suggestions: “buy drugs, enlargge your penis, veagra for womens, congradulations deaer, autimatic lottery winner”….just stop sending us this junk. Here’s my suggestion: ” go away, get losted, please, hun.”

Another thing that’s irritating is the call you get on a Sunday night from your favorite hairdresser, the one you found after years and years of searching. The one you trust implicitly. You finally find her and sure enough, one day you get “the call.” You know what it’s about, the minute you get the message “It’s Linda, from Tresses” on the phone. Deep in our hearts, women everywhere  know that the only reason your hairdresser is calling you at home at night is because she has fled her old job, stolen your chart and is working somewhere else. My dilemna: I love the way she does my hair but she has joined a salon that I fervently despise. It’s not the end of the world and yes, a mere annoyance but these things add up.

It has been a horrific couple of years and many of us are suffering the consequences of a bad economy. The idea of a vacation used to give me something to dream about, to look forward to. Key word: USED TO, past tense.  Even though it may not be financially feasible, it was something to dream and fantasize about.  Thinking about flying someplace warm in the middle of winter or early spring used to make me so happy, an inside secret I tucked away in my heart. Now? Thinking about flying makes me anxious, another mood elevator crashes to the ground (no pun intended.) With the media screaming about terror alerts and bomb threats, who wants to fly now?  Flying used to be fun, an exciting adventure. Now, you wait in very long lines, several times over, experience huge delays, body checks, shoe checks and most importantly, basic primal fear, anxiety and paranoia. I’d have to think it over for a long time before I would fly again and then, I would literally have to be sedated. Where’s the joy in that?

What is there to look forward to now? The economy stinks, the unemployment rate is ridiculously high and everyone seems to have less money or no money at all (with the exception of perhaps the super-rich which is even more annoying.)  The world, as we know it now, is a scary place. I know things take time but even I am losing patience. The country needs some good news, some great news. We need something, anything to feel good about our lives; I don’t care what it is. Give us a glimmer of hope, a tidbit, a really solid fantasy.

It’s the first week in November and we had sleet, snow and a power outage for six hours the other day. At this point, I’d even welcome some global warming: as in the warming up the country variety. If you hadn’t guessed it before the other thing I despise with a passion is winter. I would love to sleep straight through to spring. It’s cold and dark, scary and we all get sick; especially for those of us with chronic illnesses and pain. I know life is not perfect, believe me, I know. I also know you’re not supposed to “sweat the small stuff.” But, when the BIG stuff is all bad, the little stuff just adds an additional amount of worry and annoyance;  it makes us cranky. Very cranky. I’m not Andy Rooney, I’m just little ol’ me but I’m seriously pissed off. Join me next week for another edition.