The Strange Dreams Of Independent Lives

In my dream, I see the outline of a young man walking backwards on the trail near the beach. The image of his body is barely visible but now it is getting blurry. I can tell that this is a young adult with brown hair and dark brown eyes, wearing blue jeans and a red tee-shirt but those are the only details I can make out clearly.


I hear the young man’s voice where once it was loud and crisp, now getting weaker. He continues to walk, on the beach, waves at us once with one hand and then disappears in a hushed silence, evaporating into the clouds.


Blue Skies, smiling at me....





My husband and I are walking, holding hands on a trail, near the sand, we can see the ocean but are not allowed in it. There is nobody around until we see the most adorable little girl, who smiles up at us, all alone, but happy, giggling, sitting down on the boardwalk.

We wait for a little while but nobody comes. “What should we do?””We have to leave,” my husband tells me, as he tugs at my arm. “We need to catch our plane.”

Mommy and Child

I refuse to leave the little girl alone. My husband is mad but I don’t care. I turn back to check on the girl. I smile with relief, her mommy came back. After that, I start walking, up the long hill, it’s a tough climb. We walk very slowly.

and then I woke up.











































































































































































































He is Spirit, Heart and Soul.
































































































































He has always rescued birds, taken in small animals. He is a Healer.
































a real bird in hand
















































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































He is gone, completely out of sight in my dream, just the sand and the water remain.
































































Just as he leaves a cherub, a beautiful baby girl pops up in old-fashioned baby buggy, yet it is red, metal and shiny. It’s like the juxtaposition of the past and the future. How odd, we think to see that on the beach trail.
































































We walk to her just far enough to see that she is safe and well cared for and she is drinking from a fresh bottle of milk, with a soft brown teddy bear to keep her company. She is a quiet child, interesting, she takes things seriously, this little girl.
































































This sweet girl is giggling yet has mischief in her green eyes. She can hardly wait to see the world, she is a baby who will become a World Leader, someone who will leave their mark on the World. This baby girl will become a Problem Solver for the World, the most famous World Leader.
































































The next part of my dream the baby is an adult with blonde curly hair past her shoulders, waiting to explore and help the world. She flies to Africa to help poor babies in an orphanage, to distribute food and clean water. She is a Giver.
































































English: Blond Vanuatu boy
































































She falls in love with starving babies and grown-up children that need to be fed, to be trained about clean water. Some are babies, needy and sick and she will give them everything they need for a short time, as only she can do. She must move on to different children, different countries, other children need her help too.
































The dream changes entirely, the dream turns into me yet I look different, completely different. All I can see is a photo of me looking at my back and I realize how huge my backside has become. It is shocking and upsetting. I can’t understand it at all.
































































I wake up, troubled yet I am not scared.  I am alone in my bed, the alarm clock startles me with loud jazz music. The cat eyes me suspiciously, I make coffee, The dream lingers in my memory bank, I shake my head twice, feed the cat and start my day.
































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































Carry on Tuesday: Life is a flower of which love is the honey

Indiana Farm

Indiana Farm (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Most mothers will straight out lie to you. Or just won’t talk. Fathers pretty much just stay out of these things, at least here they do.We’re just folks living a simple life. I tend to the house while my husband tends to the farm.

I’m going to talk to you straight about my daughter, Kylie. She’s 18 and for the life of me I don’t know where she comes from. I don’t get the child. We love her the same as her brother but we don’t get her, never did. She’s been different since she was born, whopping and hollering  just as soon as she came out. She looked angry at the world. Her brother, born in silence, I was scared he wasn’t breathing, but he was, just smiling. Our girl, screamed every darn day for a couple of years. She wouldn’t take naps any more, and by the afternoon she was cranky as all heck and nothing would calm that child. I tried it all. When her daddy came home I would stand at the door with my arms outstretched and her in them and I would hand her over and I would leave to go to Walmart to clear my head and get the groceries done, alone.

When she was older, she was real shy and I was her everything. It was a miracle. She would hide behind my legs and cling to me. If there was someone she didn’t like she would lift her arms up and whisper into my neck, soft like a kitten, “up, up.” I was her world, she only wanted me. Nobody else.  She had those big blue eyes and hair the color of love, sunshine and honey, long and straight, she looked like a  princess. I was the love of her life, like bees to flowers, that’s how much she loved me. Never been happier in my whole life.

Now she’s 18 and he is 20 and this is what no one tells you. “Motherhood now, is a thankless job.” Plenty of people will disagree and say “no, it isn’t” but for us, these teenage years are hell. I know it’s kind of boring here on the farm but that’s not our fault. We’ve all grown up in Indiana. That’s not a reason to disrespect us. They think they know everything better because they are going to  college but they have fresh mouths. It’s no fun being a parent any longer. But did anyone ever tell you that? Yeah, I didn’t think so. Nobody ever told me, that’s for sure. It would have been nice to know. Maybe I could have prepared myself.

My daughter treats me like the dirt that’s in our backyard. She steps on me and only is happy when I do something for her. That’s just not right. When she is in a bad mood her blue eyes get cold and icy and they stare through me like I was a ghost. She has attitude too and a fresh mouth. Oh, we’ve talked to her about it plenty of times, but she just can’t look inside herself. I swear, her feelings are so deep down it would take one of those big trucks to dig through her or maybe one of them rich, fancy doctors in the big city.  I’m the opposite. I cry like a baby, I can’t keep stuff inside me. My daughter can make me cry something fierce with her coldness and her being so mean, she doesn’t even seem to care. If I had acted that way with Mawmaw, she would have slapped me across my cheek until I learned better and I would have learned.

I’m telling you the truth here. They may love and adore you when they are little but that’s not a guarantee for the future. Not even close. Love them while you can. Cause you are not gonna have them forever. And the love you held so precious in your arms will be just, a memory, one that fades fast with time. Some people say “maybe she’ll come back to you when she’s older.” “Well”, I say, “Maybe but we’ll see, I’m not counting on it, that hurts too much”. But, I’ll be here, anyway, she’ll know how to find me.