The Celebrity Apprentice

aboard the Kandy Kruise 09/14/2007

Image via Wikipedia

I haven’t watched The Apprentice in a couple of years. For some reason, this year I stumbled on The Celebrity Apprentice but realized that I missed the first show. I don’t know why I love The Celebrity Apprentice, but I do; I find it hilarious and fascinating. The next day I watched it on Hulu (Thank you Hulu) and I was delighted to be able to watch the first episode. It’s my guilty pleasure. I’m not sure why I am so tickled about the show but I will say this: THE CELEBRITIES!  They make me laugh and groan and truly get the audience involved. Good hiring, Mr. Trump! Here are just some of the celebrities that were on the show: Goodbye Diane Warwick (serious attitude), Hello Neenie (serious spunk). LaToya Jackson (really, not sure what to say or maybe I just can’t hear her) Star Jones (Really wouldn’t want to be on HER bad side, she scares me.) This season you have to admit the cast ENGAGES you.

I might have rewatch the Gary Bussey and Meatloaf episodes again. Just seeing Meatloaf in the boardroom trying to hold himself together without completely losing it should win him an Academy Award or any type of award. Gary Bussey? (HA HA HA HA) The man might be a genius(?) but I’m sorry to say I really don’t think he has all his coffee cups in the cupboardt. I’m not judging, I’m just saying. It did, however, make for excellent television viewing.  What will I do now that he has been fired? I will still watch but I guess I will have to focus more of my attention on  Star Jones and Neenie confrontations. Don’t you think? There’s the pretty Playmate of the year ( I think), a country singer named John (Rich?) a rap star named Lil John and maybe a couple of more people, not really sure.

I love Donald Trump (this does not mean an endorsement for President however) and the way Ivanka and Don Jr. play this game. I feel that Eric is not as comfortable as his siblings. How perfect and beautiful is Ivanka anyway? I don’t care what she says which is not much but often on target she is just pretty to watch. Don Jr. makes me laugh because you kind of get a sense that he is having a little fun with all this and doesn’t take it quite so seriously.

There’s just one question that I have for the show. If people are debating about lying and who said what, why can’t they go back to the tape and say “Gee Gary, it did look like you were strong arming the head of the company and offering them your services as a spokesperson?”  Wouldn’t that make more sense? Is it just to see how people view their own actions and how their memories are so different? Couldn’t you see The Donald pausing and going: “let’s go to the tape now” pointer in hand?

When our kids were little The Apprentice was a show we all watched together. We were glued to the tv set for every episode. Now, it’s my dirty little secret. Last week, the Meatloaf/Bussey debacle was on and I was laughing out loud. I thought I was alone until my sixteen year old daughter walked in the room while I was watching, turned to look at me, rolled her eyes as only 16 year olds can do and said, with contempt:  “I’m judging you.” Go ahead, sweetheart, judge away. I wouldn’t have missed Meatloaf and Gary Bussey for the world. I just hope The Celebrity Apprentice will hold my attention until the end. Oh, who am I kidding, of course it will. Thanks, Donald, for a great season, and if you run for President, may I suggest Gary Bussey as your VP?

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The Brownie Smuggler (A Foodie Blog)

I knew that I would snack at 10:45pm. I wish I could say I tried to stop myself but that would be really lame. Sometimes, you just have to eat. This was one of those times. I started off my “snack”, okay, second meal with the leftover piece of barbecued chicken I didn’t finish for dinner. I can totally justify that, I had half the portion at dinner. What I can’t rationalize are the brown rice, sea salt crackers to go along with it.  Or the watermelon that followed. I am ashamed and I am not. Now I am nibbling on a brownie in my bedroom and no-one is supposed to know. No one DOES know except for my dog, Callie and now you. She sits up in perfect form, her warm brown eyes staring at me, begging to be fed. “I can’t” I say to her out loud, you are not allowed to have chocolate.” She lies down on the carpet as if she understood what I was saying; maybe she did. It isn’t even a really good brownie, it’s the type that you pack in your kids’ lunches, pre-made and wrapped individually. But still, I had to have it and I am not sure that I am done eating and I am okay with that.

So, tomorrow I will try to be better, making healthier food choices but I will not beat myself up about tonight. Tonight, after a stressful day, this made me feel better, comforted me. I know it’s not a healthy living style but either is denying yourself everything. If anyone at Weight Watchers reads this, please don’t write me, I’m not interested.

I watched the show “Huge” for the first time today on Hulu. I think it’s a great show and will do for overweight people what Glee did to EVERY kind of person. It’s called validation. Finally. People come in different shapes and as my daughter showed me on an episode of “One Tree Hill” a woman (not a model) walked the runway with a tee-shirt that said “zero is not a size.” Hallelujah.

Sometimes I get ravenous and all my common sense, my willpower goes swirling down the drain like a tornado. I am the eye of the storm, and I can’t be stopped; no, I will not allow myself to stop until it’s over. Hopefully it will be months before this little extravaganza comes around again. If it does, I will deal with it, eat it and then the next day go back to being…better.

This is why I cannot watch the Food Network at night. I see the food, I want the food and then I hurl myself down the stairs for something to eat. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a glass of milk always does the trick (with baked potato chips on the side).  Tonight while I was watching “Huge”, I saw a plate of fries and a double chocolate milkshake and it made me hungry. Perhaps I should switch and watch game shows or old movies. It would keep me grounded. Literally.

I am dreaming now of a cheeseburger and sharing a plate of fries with my husband at a local little pub. They have killer (sorry vegetarians and vegans) burgers, inexpensive and made of incredible quality, moist, pink and thick. I am salivating just thinking about it.

Lesson to learn? Do what you have to do, don’t beat yourself up afterwards and start fresh the next day. It isn’t an easy process, for those of us with food or weight issues but it works.