Mellow Yellow Monday – Corn on the Cob

It’s bitter cold outside, I’m dreaming about warm weather and backyard bbq’s.

The Weber grill has some sweet and savory chicken,  hamburgers and hot dogs too. Family and friends sit around having a soda or a beer, fresh lemonade. There’s potato salad, coleslaw and delicious sweet and crunchy, corn on the cob and home-made buttery bread. It’s like a bit of sunshine sweetness in every bite. Chips and dip, nothing fancy, just great food and perfect weather, hanging outside for as long as we want, with a guitar strumming and people singing out back in the garden.

I miss summer so badly, I could just about cry.

The following is the author’s description of the photograph quoted directly from the photograph’s Flickr page. “One a day food item 20 ” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Just a Little Harmless Venting

Winter, Bloody Winter

It’s freezing, my hands hurt, they are red and raw. Soothing hand lotion just disappears into my aching pores but I can’t feel any difference or relief. Each finger is an individual icicle, stuffed into useless lined gloves. I can’t feel my toes they seem to have become webbed together because of this unnatural cold spell. I have four layers of clothing on underneath an old brown, tired winter jacket. I would actually prefer an old-fashioned snowstorm to these chilling, painful, low temperatures and hollering winds. With snow, trees, bushes and houses take on a life of their own. Everything looks innocent and bright. Pointy roofs are layered with glistening snow. Dogs happily romp in the snow, they run like deer performing ballet. It’s beautiful to watch; there is no beauty now. I can almost hear the roar of an impromptu snowball fight and the sound of children laughing. When I first go outside the wind hits my face like an unexpected, violent slap. The days are short, gray and abysmal. I shiver constantly; I hate feeling cold; my aging body agrees. Having Fibromyalgia makes the cold even worse. It’s colder than cold, my joints are stiff and I ache everywhere. Every move is accompanied by extra pain; life feels dreary. My body misses much-needed heat and my soul is deprived of sunshine.

thank you Ghandi

so i went to the snooty mall today, all anxious and not knowing where to go. my sense of direction is what legends are made of. as in i have no sense of direction, never did, never will. and jill was not working. yes, jill our gps helper person.  of course, when I have to go to the complicated mall jill just shows me an hour-glass going up, going down. i had no idea where i was going. had to stop a car in the next lane  and scream to ask for directions. it was all so seventies.  there was bumper to bumper traffic, what should have been a 35 minute drive took me over an hour and ten minutes. I was all jittery and hot and flushed since I didn’t want to be late for my appointment and nordstrom’s doors were locked tight and it was like totally dark in there so we were all milling around in the parking lot waiting to see if someone would unlock the doors because eventually they had to. right? i mean it is nordstroms….

i had a 10:15 appointment with the genius ( i kid you not, that’s what they are called) at apple and I was all running over shlepping my computer because the dvd player which I tried at home at least 12 times, was all of a sudden working. surreal, i know, totally  really surreal, like going to the doctor with a complaint and then as soon as she walks in the room, it’s gone. cured. just like my computer when he, the genius, put the Ghandi dvd in it that had scratches and i swear that Ghandi himself healed the computer’s dvd. no seriously, Ghandi himself fixed my computer and saved me about 200 dollars.

while my computer  was given a free, yes free, new keyboard, i walked around the pretentious mall and wanted to get an iced tea. there was a specially tea store and I swear on my life, they wanted me to pay $4.95 for a small herbal iced tea and i was so “i’m so out of here” because starbucks is even cheaper than this and i have a gift card. i walked around the mall slowly until two people (two different people) accosted me, shoving samples in my hand. and I was all fine and happy that i got free samples until I looked at them and saw they were samples for people with deep, severe, repeat deep, severe wrinkles. now i had two wrinkle cream serums and I thought to myself, omg, I must look so old and horrible and I didn’t even have an iced tea to drink to keep myself hydrated.

i’m in all sorts of pain and my back is all sore especially the lower middle back and i am tempted to cry but am trying to hold myself together because yesterday was a horrible day and everyone was in a miserable mood. today was a little bit better because it must be that Ghandi sent some more healing powers although it seems the genius who worked on my computer did something wrong and now my computer sounds like an airplane on a runway about to take off. but supposedly the dvd player is still fixed, just not sure if i can hear it now.

i met a really interesting friend of my mother’s who is an artist and somehow she inspired me in some sort of creative, optimistic way.  i am now thinking about taking an art class even though i know i have zero talent but i’m talking myself into trying again. i failed clay once and i’ve never forgotten it but i was in my twenties then and at 54 i really don’t care all that much. so i need a new hobby and now i have inspiration and a sunnier disposition to think about it. so i will plug away and maybe get involved in something new or maybe i won’t and will be the lazy slob i always have been and dive under piles of comforters and dream of spring.

How Target Saved My Sanity

It was one of THOSE days. One of those days that I knew I had to get out of my very small house that was threatening to eat me up alive. Our little cozy  cottage was filled with my husband, two bored teenagers home for February break, our yawning dog and me.  I needed to get out and drive somewhere and I needed a destination. I was looking for someplace where I could walk indoors and get away from the 22 degree temperature and howling winds. I loathe winter. The snow has been piled up for months and I felt claustrophobic and depressed and all the problems (unemployment for my husband, chronic pain for me) were feeling insurmountable.  I wanted to see different things, admire vibrant colors, and more importantly see people I didn’t know; people of all shapes and sizes, colors, width and height; speaking different languages, interesting strangers.

I headed  to Target and it was terribly crowded but I didn’t mind; I weaved  in and out of the store  using their bright, red carriage for support. As soon as I saw the clothing and shoes section I immediately felt happier. SUMMER!!!  All the clothes were short-sleeved and summery, and the textures were light, like a softly worn handkerchief. The colors bloomed throughout the store like daffodils: yellow, pink, rose, white, aqua, baby blue.  The shoes were flimsy flip-flops and sandals; not a muddy brown winter boot in sight! I honestly felt relieved and joyful when I saw that the aisles had been cleared away of all the winter gear and the store was telling me, that yes, winter REALLY will be over and  summer is not just a fantasy.

On the way home though, I felt blue once again, worrying about things I can’t control, fretting about things I shouldn’t fret about. With tears streaming down my frozen face I started feeling miserable again, especially when I heard the forecast and an additional 6 inches of snow was on its way. I crawled into bed, to try to relieve my aches and pains and I gently put the covers back over my face and sighed. Sleeping is very good therapy for me.

When I woke up I felt much better, perspective restored. I got out of bed, headed down the stairs with my brown, white and red Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer slippers to the kitchen.  I made a piece of multi-grain toast with butter and honey. Honey is one of the world’s loveliest foods. To me, it is a delicacy, delicious and beautiful in every  shape or form. The color of honey in itself is a work of art, like a beautiful painting about warmth and the sun and love.  Honey is comforting, it’s deliciously lovely, it soothes and calms.  While Target got me out of the house, honey, saved my spirit and welcomed me back home.