The Day After Robin Williams’ Died

I sit in shock even as the news about Robin Williams’ death is sweeping the country on every possible news outlet. Shock moved to sadness and even though I didn’t know this marvelously talented man or his demons, I am feeling his pain. Everyone’s pain. The world is so fragile right now, you can feel it in the the heaviness of the air, the full moon,  in the tension of the world. For some of us, called Empath Intuitives, we feel more deeply, we take on other people’s pain as if they were our own but I am trying hard to separate this one.

I wrote this in response to my friend, the great Jenny the Bloggess, aka Jenny Lawson on her wonderful post about the death or apparent suicide of Robin Williams. Please take a look at Jenny’s site (I reblogged it here if it worked) to read the whole thing, if you don’t know Jennifer Lawson, you really should. My goal in life is to be mentioned on one of her side bars one day! She will cheer you up, crack you up and has been one of my inspirations. She has really creepy (sorry Jenny) habits/hobbies like taxidermied animals but she also does beautiful things for others and that makes you want to be as awesome as she is.

Not to mention, you have never really met the true Beyonce that we, in the Jenny Fan club know. “Knock knock Motherfucker.” You’ll see. It makes perfect sense.

Jenny wrote a heart breaking and heart warming post about suicide and mental illness and all of our challenges in life. This was my reply to her:

I’m usually good for a laugh or a witty response but sorry, I just can’t this time and that’s okay. I know I will get it back but Robin Williams’ suicide hurts in a place where childhood was, we grew up with him. WHY DOES MENTAL ILLNESS STILL HAVE SUCH A NEGATIVE STIGMA, IT SHOULDN’T. WHAT IF CANCER WAS SUBSTITUTED FOR MENTAL ILLNESS? I don’t understand. It is an illness like any other illness and needs to be treated by a professional. I have an anxiety disorder and take meds for it, like Jenny, and it is treatable. Sure, there are some bad days but there are some bad days for everyone. Isn’t it time that mental illness can come out of the closet and be accepted by everyone instead of being a hushed secret? Come on, people, give those of us who struggle with something different, ( I have an anxiety disorder) an encouraging word, a smile, a chance to say “I feel sad/anxious today.”

More money is needed for mental health providers but I’m sure Robin Williams could have provided that for himself. PLEASE, talk to each other or call a suicide hotline. If not for yourself, then for your children, your mother, brother, best friend, your partner, your pet, for me and for Jenny. There’s always someone waiting to listen. I promise. Signed, your friend, Laurie F.

Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline


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    “Because Hope Is A Marvelous Thing” by me.

Plinky Prompt: If you could switch blogs with any blogger for a week…

A self-portrait of the Bloggess, also known as...

A self-portrait of the Bloggess, also known as Jenny Lawson, an Internet blogger. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

  • If you could switch blogs with any blogger for a week, with whom would you switch and why?

    See all answers
  • Jenny And Me
  • I didn’t even have to think about this for one minute, the answer is

    easy. I would trade blogs with one of the funniest people who I feel I

    know. She’s my friend ( in my mind at least ) and I respect her and

    laugh with her and think she’s a very clever and amusing person. The

    only person that it could be, in my world, is Jenny, The Bloggess. If

    you haven’t heard of her, where have you been living? I have to say that

    she is downright honest, a little crazy, (those stuffed, dead animals

    she collects ( taxidermist??) creep me out a little but hey, she lives

    in Texas and she learned some stuff from her dad.) I’m a complete city

    girl but I’m not judging. So NOT judging. She’s open, honest and funny

    and if you get offended by some of her comments or language just move on

    and keep going, don’t come back. I think this woman, this writer is

    the type of person that will put on paper what you will try to come up

    with ten minutes later.

    I too, keep Xanax in my pocketbook for anticipatory anxiety, Jenny,

    and I’ve got your back. For real. I’m so proud of her success that I

    could burst and that has nothing to do with my blog whatsoever. BELIEVE

    ME. I am happy for HER. Jenny started a Christmas program for people in

    need, a few years back, and that was one of the nicest things anyone in

    the world could have done. It still brings tears to my eyes when I think

    about it.That’s heart, people, true heart.


Finally, I Am So “IN” Repost


anxiety (Photo credit: FlickrJunkie)

For the first time in my life I’m in fashion and not following a trend that started four years ago. I am cutting edge; I am “IN ” because I get ANXIOUS.  I’m not talking about buying Uggs (I did buy those 4 years after they came out)  but I still wear them year after snowy year because they keep my feet toasty warm. Apparently, talking about anxiety is now fashionable and trendy. I’ve been popular for this newly accepted diagnosis all my life, I just never knew it. I could be President of this club, and CEO if not founder and major stock holder. The stock market is practically riding on my shoulders, okay the world.

There always seems to be a flavor of the month diagnosis, last year it seemed it was Bipolar and in the last few months, the newest and most focused on illness seemed to be Bipolar 2, (I can imagine a Bipolar 3 diagnosis soon). No disease is funny but when you start putting numbers after the diagnosis it feels like an  iPhone upgrade, with each upgrade things are a little bit different but you still need to buy new headphones or a different speaker.

My friend, Jenny the Bloggess always talks about her bouts with panic attacks and how, on the road, to plug her new book people have stopped to offer her Xanax. Last night while watching an HBO show called Newsroom a character had to go outside because of her anxiety and she didn’t have her Xanax with her. Look fellow anxiety sufferers, we’re even on television, HBO no less!

I’ve never been embarrassed or ashamed at the fact that I get anxious at times. I told my children about it when they were old enough to understand,  just as if I was a diabetic that had to take medicine. Some people are anxious, some are not. I would say my anxiety definitely started in my early childhood when I constantly had to be reassured, each night before bed, by my very nurturing father who would answer a list of questions that I had, same questions every night (I have OCD Worrying) I guess back then, in the old days, people didn’t send their kids to a doctor for an evaluation or to a psychiatrist, it was “just one of those things;” I was always “too sensitive or over-sensitive. I suffered with anxiety until I was in my early fifties when I finally got diagnosed and received medicine to help prevent anxiety attacks and medicine if I have an anxiety attack. I have what is commonly known as “Anticipatory Anxiety” and I’m one of many, many people who suffer with this.

There is NOTHING to be ashamed about worrying or being anxious. You worry because you care and you feel scared. You are fearful of bad things happening to you or to your loved ones or scared about planes, or elevators OR like one of my ex-friends, scared about everything, which is tragic. Unfortunately, she was even scared to go to the doctor and scared of taking medicine so her phobias piled up on her every year like a bloody car crash. There is so much help available if you are suffering, but you must consult a specialist.  My life turned for the better when I stopped worrying obsessively. So, we’re now out of the closet (not that I was ever in) we’re human, everyone deals with life in a different way. It can get better, trust me.

Keep your *Xanax or Valium or whatever you take with you but only use it as needed. Sometimes, the thought of having an anxiety med in my handbag is enough to deep breathe the scary thoughts away. Sometimes.

* I am in no way encouraging people to take medicine, without being under a physician’s care.*

*Obviously I am not a doctor and I am not dispensing advice, I’m an anxiety sufferer who wants to help others.

*I am not getting paid for this (I wish).

Because Jenny The Bloggess Would So Understand

A self-portrait of the Bloggess, also known as...

After hoarsely calling downstairs in my sunshine yellow house with white shutters and no one responding

I resort to messaging: “I am jumping off our copper covered roof

with a hamster between my teeth.’

That’s what it takes to get attention around here but the only response I got from MY Victor who is Danny is “very funny”

as I lay in bed sick with laryngitis and a wheezing cough

sounding like a Mickey Mouse version of Lauren Bacall who was a sexy beast.

English: Roborovski hamster

I have become invisible apparently too.

I message my family on their smart phones,

still no response so I resort to silliness like the wriggling hamster tail clenched

between my bloody lips.

That should do it, I think.

No, not really.

Doesn’t anyone have a sense of humor except for me?

I bet Jenny the Bloggess would understand; she is my heroine or heroin, either way. Or both.

This is for her, because she makes me laugh and brightens my day more than my sunshine yellow house and because I am a

true nerd who pre-ordered her book from Amazon and it is not even due out until April. Jenny, I live in NY so I’m here if you need me,

but more importantly, we need YOU. Your honesty and strength makes us all better people. Yes, Jenny, You Did That.

Dedicated to Jenny Lawson