The Taste: Oh Nigella, Again?

I wrote an article last year about the show “The Taste” where one contestant, I believe her name was Jacquelyn, walked off the set during the show. It was FABULOUS. I mean it, it was utterly delicious, unexpected, and simply divine. She had been on Nigella Lawson’s team. (There’s a shocker!.)

There is something about the way Nigella Lawson acts

as a “Mentor” that drives me a little crazy and it is difficult to put into word but to sum it up…

she’s awful. Sometimes she micromanages and sometimes she’s aloof and always wants to blame the people on her team instead of taking any responsibility herself. She does not know how to mentor people or nurture (I think she’s an ice queen) and frankly I don’t think she can learn. There is something innate about this.You can’t teach some people certain social skills, if they don’t have them.

It’s like asking Ludow (Ludow Lefebvre) not to shout or scream. What an amusing thought. He would have to have a lobotomy and but would he want to? That is his style. Bless him and all of the people that choose him.. Of course he wouldn’t be able to do this, it’s part of who he is. I would basically cry or want to throw objects at his head if I was on his team but I would never BE on his team. If I had my choice (not that I can cook one thing at the level they cook) I would pick Marcus or Anthony.

Speaking of Anthony, is anyone else getting sick of the slobbering one contestant is doing over him. Ms. Flirty Flirt? Sure, he’s a handsome and a very talented guy but, honey, you are making yourself look like an utter fool. What, are you 8 years old? Did you just get over

Justin Bieber? All those double entendres,the camera panniing to see your “orgasmic” look, really woth it? Everyone seems to be making fun of you. Blech, it’s not even cute, it’s practically over the top. Have your crush sweetie, but don’t flaunt it, it makes you look like an ass.

Those shots of your team mates glancing over to you (rolling their eyes?)  that’s for televesion and I am sure, they are judging you too. Of course, dreamy Tony encourages it, he is Anthony Bourdain, he can get away with it, he is a sexy star and a bad ass, he can do whatever he wants. He gets paid extremely well for looking hot.

You, Crush Girl are not and it seems that you are not giving women a good name. Please don’t carry on like this. You will be great on your own, leave your crush on Bourdain at home.

The last episode I watched, Nigella’s team was down to two people (two nervous looking young women, pray for them) and a couple of people left from other teams though I know Bourdain’s team was pretty solid.

This show is pure entertainment and that is wonderful. I also watch Top Chef and frankly I think they have gone over the top showing that poor bunny rabbit, skinned. I couldn’t watch it, my husband did and I screamed like a baby. It still makes me nauseous and sad.

Yes, I know I eat meat, thank you very much, and I accept that I am a hypocrite, so let’s get that over with right now. I don’t need speeches. There are certain animals I can’t eat: rabbits, goats, frogs, ducks and any innards.) I don’t eat a lot of meat at all but when the urge for a cheeseburger comes, I don’t deny it.

I am definitely sticking with The Taste, I love watching it with my husband. It’s not like I’m learning to cook, I”m not. But, it is the most entertaining cooking show on the air, for me.

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I Hate Salmon, So Stop Making Me Feel So Damn Guilty!

English: Flesh of an Atlantic Salmon.

English: Flesh of an Atlantic Salmon. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If I read one more article about the health benefits of my least favorite, strong (sorry, foul to me) smelling fish I am going to have a nutty. This expression was coined by my friend, Debbie, when our  boys were 2 years old.  The boys would often go off the deep end, fight, scream and cry, and we were sleep deprived and over-whelmed. Having “a nutty”just summed it up for both kids and moms.

By now, we know from every magazine, newspaper, television and vitamin commercial that the almighty salmon is healthy to eat and it has antioxidants. We see that everywhere, hear about that from friends, family, doctors, hair stylists, people from Verizon and Comcast. You get the idea. I’m wondering if I am the ONLY outcast who just can’t stand the stuff. I want to like it and be healthy but frankly the mere smell makes me nauseous.

I  blame my friend’s mother Natalie who forced me to eat it at their home one day when I was a young teenager. This family was very strict and very rule conscious, believe me. When I  politely refused to eat the salmon mousse for lunch she did not give up. Nor did she say, “I understand, have a peanut butter sandwich.” She then lied and said that” it was tuna, her mistake.” There was absolutely no choice in this household, I’d still be sitting there, hunched over, 42 years later if I hadn’t gulped it down, quickly throwing back whatever beverage was at hand. Believe me, no way was it soda, I’m betting on milk.

My husband eats salmon often when we go out to eat as does my mother and almost every person I know. Is there a salmon conspiracy? (I’m kidding) I have tried tiny bits of salmon in different forms with different toppings, yes, I want to like it. I don’t. Believe me, at 56 years old, there is no one, no chef, no expert that could make me eat salmon willingly. Hey, Top Chef, why don’t you make this one of your challenges? Because no one would win? Want to try it? Game on.

I’m sick of the articles in every Health Magazine about the benefits of eating this red-headed monster fish. I don’t even like looking at it on the plate. I feel like I’m supposed to feel guilty for NOT eating it and if I get really sick, which is inevitable, people around me will point a slim finger at me and say “You really should have forced yourself to eat salmon, it’s really not that bad.” So, don’t blame me, blame Natalie who forced me to eat it and I never recovered after that experience.

My daughter was a picky eater ever since she began eating solid foods, she would not eat the turkey, lamb, meat baby food. She spit it out. Know what? I didn’t force her to eat it, how could I? She wouldn’t swallow it. I let her eat other things instead and not junk. Today she is an admirable vegetarian, not eating meat for ethical reasons. Her older brother once tried to make her eat a tiny bite of his hamburger at McDonald’s and she did but she spit it out. So, in our house we have one vegetarian and one carnivore. I think we were too easy, looking back, not making our kids try things and offering options instead but we were new parents. Not wanting to make other people’s mistakes, as usual, we made our own.

Now Rice Is Dangerous? (Food Cop)

Napoleon Dynamite: The Game

Napoleon Dynamite: The Game (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Yet again, another startling report of a “safe and healthy” food proclaimed: DANGEROUS.” Yes, you heard me, it’s in the news, on television, probably messing up everybody’s head that RICE is very risky for your health. Why? ARSENIC.  Arsenic? Oh yes, they say calmly, everything from baby food, to rice cakes, to white rice and more importantly, brown rice. BROWN RICE, you know, the healthy kind. Well, the kind that we USED to think was healthy. Nope, not anymore.(Probably never was either.)

What about eggs? Where do we stand on those “incredible, edible eggs” now? Because first eating eggs was just fine, then the yolks were bad for you and they told us that they should be limited and some people were all “I”ll have an egg white omelette with onions and red peppers, hold the toast and potatoes please” then after that it went back to the egg yolks were an essential part of a healthy diet and you really could eat at least 2-3 eggs a week, guilt-free and be super-healthy with antioxidants and all that. I have no idea what the most recent statement of the egg industry is, (I did look it up but it seems to be controversial and different depending on what country you live in) and I really don’t care. Now, organic food is not that much better (if at all) than regular (tell that to all the moms and dads and granola crunching people who have spent fortunes on places like Organic Only stores (you know which stores I’m talking about.)

First, people tell us to not to eat red meat (I eat it sparingly) then the say pork is the”other white meat” (who believes that?) I pretend to believe that but I really don’t, that leaves chicken and fish. If I could, I’d be happy with a small tub of egg salad (I know, I know) and some multi-grain (Oh, wait, have we gone back to Wonder Bread yet, because I’m waiting for that one) or “Potato Bread (how dissimilar is that?) and I’m perfectly happy.

I’m tired of people, agencies, telling us things AFTER THE FACT. CAN’T THEY GET THINGS RIGHT THE FIRST TIME? Apparently not. Here is my theory: eat what you want, in moderation. Have fruit, vegetables, a little meat or chicken, (take note of the rice dilemma) some really good multi-grain bread and a small dessert so you don’t binge later (guilty as charged.) Allow yourself a snack (a small cup of cereal, or fruit or both if you are hungry later in the evening). Done.

I say to hell with it all. Napoleon Dynamite had the right idea. Forget rice, replace with tater tots. Tots. I grew up on tater tots, as did my children. Try to forget about  the hysteria they spew on television and in the news. Do what feels right for your body. Me? I’m trying hard to give up diet soda because of all the nasty chemicals in it and it is not easy. I’ve tried to drink water with lemon instead but it doesn’t make me happy. Here’s a tip, don’t get freaked out immediately like “yours truly” allow yourself some slack, eat things in moderation and always, and I mean always, eat a small dessert.

I gave my diabetic mother a present the other day, sugar-free Oreos, even I could handle diabetes with that!

Dairy vs. Meat

Mozzarella cheese

There Is NO Contest

I’ve often thought about giving up meat entirely and I have tried….for a week or two, then I get a craving for well-made grilled hamburger and I lose any hope that I could give up meat full-time. I could NEVER give up dairy easily AT ALL. My daughter is a vegetarian, has always been a vegetarian and her diet consists of pasta and dairy. When she was younger we called her a “Dairytarian” because she would not eat vegetables either. I would give up meat and she and I could eat platters of cheese with shiny green and red apples and steaming hot French bread and butter or pasta with marinara sauce and melted mozzarella cheese, all the time.

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A Food I Was Surprised to Like

Come To Mama

braised short rib

Braised Short Ribs. I have been remiss for so many years for ignoring these delicacies on any menu. I imagined them to be like spare-ribs, tough, chewy and on the bone. What was served to my salivating mouth was a small portion of the softest, succulent beef that I have ever eaten. I didn’t even need a knife to cut these beautiful, tender pieces of beef. A mere touch of a fork made them fall apart in singular strands.They sat next to a small pile of mashed potatoes surrounded by sweet, slightly crunchy, cooked string beans. I would go back to this restaurant in a minute; I would order the same exact thing I just described and I would be a very happy, customer. Again.

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