The Emmy Awards. I Think.

Robin Williams Canada

Robin Williams Canada (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Emmy awards had a weird feeling of disbelief and displacement for me. Why were they on a Monday night and wait, weren’t they supposed to be on in mid September? Wait right there. That’s all kinds of wrong in every way imaginable.

Some of the jokes were funny, many of them left me feeling clueless and out of touch with what was happening in the land of television. Let’s face it, if you didn’t watch Breaking Bad, (like me) you lost probably two-thirds of the show. The science fiction stuff, not a clue.

The one show I LOVE and was rooting for, Orange Is The New Black, was entered many times but, I know, I know, as a COMEDY. What are they smoking in the back rooms in TV land.  Who on earth decided that? What a moronic decision. Had that been placed in the dramatic series, I have no doubt that they would have won ALL the awards. I hope whoever made that decision is embarrassed enough to hide their heads in shame. Sorry, but you deserve it, and please don’t try to blame it on someone else.

I BINGE WATCHED Season 1 and Season 2 and of course they had comical moments but a comedy show? That’s like saying a show like The Biggest Loser is a show about gourmet food. People, a little common sense, please.

In one way I wanted Billy Crystal to give such a warm and moving tribute to Robin Williams so that selfish me would have been able to release all my pent-up emotions and sobbed for a solid hour. I know, it isn’t about me. I do know I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that Robin Williams is REALLY dead. Why?

Billy Crystal was professional and did a lovely tribute to his friend and fellow actor. Honestly what he did was probably perfect for people. It must have been so difficult to keep his composure. I felt his pain.

Being totally over-sensitive is who I am, Mea Culpa. It is who I have always been and will always be. That ‘s the reason I have this blog to release my emotions and tell people how I am feeling or what is on my mind.

I didn’t KNOW Robin Williams, nobody did, apparently, but we thought we did and that is the aching truth. You never really know anybody, do you? That’s the unanswered question that’s niggling in the back of all our minds. Do we EVER really know someone? Family or friend? With an aching heart, I’d now have to say “no.”

Robin, we will never forget you.

 

 


 

 

One Of Our Own

When the sudden death of Robin Williams became known on Sunday night, slowly at first, you could hear people gasp as they looked at their phones or their televisions or answered a phone call from a friend. Nobody expected this and many, including myself, said out loud “Robin William is DEAD?” As if this was not entirely possible.

For those of us in the baby boomer age range we took it harder than most, Robin Williams was one of our own, he was in our age group, we felt we knew him a tiny bit, having grown up with him and the shows he was on.

Robin Williams and Pam Dawber as Mork and Mindy

Robin Williams and Pam Dawber as Mork and Mindy (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We started with Mork and Mindy but that never impressed us as much as future roles because then, we thought he was just acting, remembering lines, doing physical comedy to perfection. Only later did we find out that he was improvising the entire time, words bouncing off him like soccer balls on a field.

Many people have died, many actors and actresses, and later, the same day the beloved Lauren Bacall died but yet she was barely mentioned. “She had a good, long life” people said, almost as if her death was not as important as Robin’s. Robin’s death was a choice, some would say, he committed suicide but I don’t think if he was in his right mind that he would have made that same choice. Maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part.

Robin was ill, mentally ill and apparently he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease years ago but had suffered with that diagnosis in silence. He was not yet ready to share this new pain with the world. I don’t know what kind of therapists or medications he was on when he died but I am sure he had access to the best doctor’s anywhere. Yet, even they could not help him.

English: Robin Williams, U.S. actor, at the 20...

English: Robin Williams, U.S. actor, at the 2008 BBC World Debate. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My own father had open heart surgery, a quadruple by-pass operation in the city over twenty years ago and no one at that time told us of that depression would be a likely side effect down the road.  He went to one of the best doctors in NYC. While the operation itself “was a success” we had no idea what was happening years after when he sunk into a deep depression. Yes, he did see a professional and he did swallow pills. He wasn’t always depressed, it came and went in spurts but I don’t think he was ever the same.

Deep inside I know he wanted to die but I made him promise me not to ever take his life. He promised. He had physical problems as well and they became more pronounced as he got older and more frail. I knew, through instinct, that he would die in three months time from a variety of reasons. I felt it, I am an “empath intuitive,” I knew from the way my dad showed it to me, the things he said. I confirmed it with a person I trusted.

Let’s try to take care of each other, not only when we seem overtly sad or depressed but also, when we don’t. Look behind the laughter, watch out for each other, be kind always.