Grief: The Great Equalizer, RIP Mike Nichols

I’m so sorry, Diane Sawyer,

I just heard about the death of your husband and your children’s father, Mike Nichols.  Believe me, I know what death of a loved one feels like and it is torture. I know a little about what you are going through and I guarantee you I feel your pain. There is no other way to describe it but heartbreaking and life changing. It really does feel like your heart is physically breaking

#82137895 / gettyimages.com

apart and I am not saying this in a metaphoric way. Everything changes from the moment your loved one dies, well, forever. Please accept my condolences.

In cases like this, all the money in the world makes not an iota of difference. The pain in your heart has nothing to do with your bank account. For this, we are all one, rich or poor, famous or not, the death of someone dear has nothing to do with economics.

It’s not bad enough that I am sensitive and tend to take on other people’s grief, like when Robin Williams died. I still struggle with that at times. Or young people who have overdosed for no reason at all, parents losing children. Now, your husband, the famous director, Mike Nichols, is gone and while I do not feel emotionally involved with the movies (because I can’t attach myself to movies), I am emotionally involved with the survivors, you and your family.

Let’s face it, we weep for the loss of our loved ones. We will not be able to touch their hand or feel their hug or just talk over a cup of coffee. They will not be in our lives anymore and our heart explodes with sadness at the loss and we know there is nothing we can do to help, except be the best friend we can.

Diane Sawyer for many of us is like family in the world of television.  To me, she is one of the greatest anchors of all times. I grew up with her, I was always an ABC girl and I still am. I never wavered.

To think of her in excruciating pain hurts me.

#152331717 / gettyimages.com

Diane has been part of our living room for years, we know her as a news anchor, part of the ABC Family, and the other part of Mike Nichols. She may have been in the spotlight in front of the camera but Mike Nichols was the genius behind. Together, they were an amazing couple. You could just feel it.

At The Movies Or In Real Life

I wanted to have an old-fashioned cry. Long and hard, wailing, sobbing, letting all my feelings out but I couldn’t even do that. I put on the movie “Beaches” my past cry-your-heart-out movie that used to have me in tears, my guaranteed tear- jerker and while I was as Babs would say “verklempt” I had no tears.  Nothing, no sobbing, no release, “bupkes.”

Cover of Beaches (Special Edition)

Now, not only was I disappointed but I was cranky as well. What the heck happened to me?

I was more interested in the different styles of cars and clothing than the actual premise of the movie. I loved Bette Midler then and  actually I love her more now. Barbara Hershey kept me fascinated only because I couldn’t remember if she was dead or alive but I did remember that her lips, at one time, had grown larger or had doubled in size.  Allegedly.

I think one main reason that I didn’t cry was unfortunately, life has toughened me up quite a bit.  I’m a lot older now then when I saw this movie and things like that really seemed to be out of the ordinary, way back when. It was shocking and unreal. Sure, you sobbed at the incredible morbidity but when you first saw it, let’s say twenty, thirty years ago? The world was a different place, yes, a kinder, gentler place. I’m sure of it.

Now, if you want to sob, read a newspaper, watch the news, keep yourself informed about what is happening in the real world today. That is depressing. Before 9/11, and after 9/11. That is how I phrase things in my life like “before my dad died” and “after.”

I find the less I read about what’s going on in the world at night the better I am. Am I in denial? Absolutely. I KNOW what’s going on but I just can’t handle all that atrocity all the time, 24/7 so I stay away from everything except the bare minimum.

Hearing news stories today are the very things that nightmares are made of, flashbacks are happening from lifetime events. So, if I’m cranky by not being able to cry, I can surround myself with the news, and not only will I cry, but they would have to medicate me around the clock and put me in a psychiatric hospital where the lonely padded cell, at this second, would feel appealing. AND, NO, I am not making fun of the psychiatric community, believe me. I am part of that community.

I get anxious and take medication to try to calm me down. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Realistically, it’s a cruel world out there and in our defense we try to get stronger and stronger. Why? Because we have no damn other choice. We sink or we swim.

In case you hadn’t noticed, there is a war, there are many wars out there. Life is far from fun. Life can be very, very sad. You don’t need to watch a Bette Midler movie to cry, real life is sad enough.

Please watch below:

 

Seth MacFarlane, Fail (Pop Cop)

Seth MacFarlane at the 2009 Comic Con in San Diego. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

SHOCKER!!! “Seth MacFarlane says he will not return as host of the Oscars.” And…….does anyone want him to? I don’t think so. Guess what Seth, it’s highly doubtful you’ll be asked! I for one, would not even watch any award show that you would host or basically any show you were in.What are you ten? Boob jokes? I thought the Oscars were highly insensitive to women to almost all religions and races, it’s 2013 if you forgot and it is just not right. It was never right but “we thought we had come a long way, baby.” Apparently, not.

I never really knew who you were exactly until someone told me you were the creator of the obnoxious show: “The Family Guy: which I watched once for ten minutes and I thought it was degrading so I turned it off. I know, some people loved it but that’s their choice, not mine. I’m sure some people thought that the awards show was hysterical too. Good for them, not everybody likes the same thing.

The only thing I agreed with you is about how I too, dearly missed Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. When are they coming back? Maybe they could host all the awards show? With that talent I’m sure we wouldn’t even get bored. Ladies, please think about it. Imagine being them now, everyone’s favorite comedy duo, favorite people, favorite comics, that’s heady but it seems like they are handling their fame really well. That’s what people love to see. Trust me.

If I were Seth MacFarlane my ego would be bruised but of course, he wouldn’t admit it, doesn’t seem like he’s the type, right? “Sorry, I went too far, sorry I offended everybody on earth” would have gone a long way.” But being a baby about it and saying “he doesn’t think he wants to host again” is childish. Actually, it’s kind of sad in a pitiful way, like a child who does not want to own up to what they have done; Seth MacFarlane, grow up, you come off sounding like a brat.

Thankfully, I turned off the television at about 10:30 Eastern Standard Time, right after the snippy-Meryl-Streep-commentator-fall-on-the-steps-girl and right before the lovely Adele sang her beautiful song. These days you can still get a good night’s sleep and anything you miss, you can see on Youtube the next day or later in the week if you are so inclined.

All I wanted to do was go to sleep, so I nestled my head on my pillow. The show was boring and insensitive and not really funny at all. But, at least we are all safe from the future because “Seth MacFarlane doesn’t want to host the Oscars again.” You gotta love it.

Related articles

• Here Are All of Seth MacFarlane’s Predictable Sexist, Homophobic, and Racist Oscar Jokes (gawker.com)

Haiku Heights – Meaning

Batman: The Dark Knight (Photo credit: lamazone)

DEDICATED TO THE FAMILIES AND THE VICTIMS OF THE COLORADO KILLINGS.

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Tragedy anew,

I curl up like a seashell

Blocking out gun fire.

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Live a fearful life

The absence of awe and joy

I refuse to choose.

*****************************************************************

Forge through cement walls

blood splashed upon the theater

red-purple pain, death.

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Senseless tragedy

What is the meaning of life

Destroyed so quickly?

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Plinky Prompt: What was the last movie you saw?

• At the Movie Theater
• A most amazing film……
  I felt honored to see the film “The Intouchables.” It was one of the finest films I have seen in a very long time. It is a film about friendship and love, about two men who become great friends.Both main characters were incredibly talented, there is absolutely nothing I can complain about. The soundtrack was brilliant and worked beautifully with the movie. I would recommend this movie to everyone. It’s a foreign (French) film and if you have the chance to see it or rent it, please do. I guarantee you will love it. Trust me.

Early Bird or Night Owl

Old?

Elderly Couple – Vintage

Early bird or night owl? Are these the only options? I’m neither. Oh dear, I think I am old. With one child in college and another child a senior in high school, I am able to sleep later in the mornings. Do I stay up late and party? I hate to confess, the answer is no. Maybe, instead of just old I’m also dull. Great…. I used to want to go to sleep before my husband or after for peace and quiet and lately, I love having him near me as we both fall asleep together. He was away for four weeks so maybe I’m just appreciating him more now.

I’m boring too. Gasp! It’s true. I never was a drinker, was always more of a homebody, even as a teenager, so I guess I’m still the same. I write, I read, I am now addicted to Pinterest (which I can’t pronounce.) I used to be much more independent when I was single and lived alone, before I got married. I stayed out late with friends, we went to dinner after work, to the Village, to the movies. We were out late and up late fearlessly taking the subways at all times of the night. Sometimes when I came home late, I then rearranged the furniture in my studio apartment or cleaned until 3am with my music blaring and me dancing like the Jennifer Beals in Flashdance (a movie from the seventies.) When you are YOUNG and living by yourself, it’s “fun.” You would have to have me lifted by a crane to do ANY cleaning at any time except during my normal waking hours. I’m neither an early bird or a night owl. What does that make me? I’m 55 years old and yes, I do have a few chronic illnesses that make me more tired but they are not life-threatening. I’m going to give myself a break (for once) and just say “I’m normal.”

My Favorite Old Movie

“The Hills Are Alive..”

The Sound of Music is my favorite old movie, I think it came out in the early sixties. Though I have to admit I feel terribly old to think that this would be considered an “oldie but goodie.” Wasn’t it just yesterday that I watched this in the movie theater with my dad holding my hand and handing me buttery popcorn?

The Sound of Music to me is a feel-good movie. There are elements of love, friendship, betrayal, romance, war and fighting for the right to be free. When I feel down I watch this movie and I have to admit, it makes me feel better. I  know every word verbatim. As for the songs? I could give a concert! My dream? To go to a Sing-Along-Sound-of-Music showing; I would be so happy just to be able to sing every song out loud.

Blue Cotton Candy Will Not Do

Image via Wikipedia

‘MAKE YOURSELF SOME FUN’

I need more fun in my life, scratch that, I need FUN in my life and I really don’t have too much. Of course it’s unusual to live and be stuck in a hotel room with your husband, teenage daughter and shelter dog for eight weeks but that could not be helped. (Well it probably could have but that’s a whole other topic and I’m not going there.) No way, no how. Done.

So it is up to me to find some fun or make some on my own. You can’t count on others and while I feel pretty pleased with myself most of the time I am not a fun maker. I’m working on it:

Today, I finally bought some sketch paper and pens and will probably have a doodle fest. I plan to take my notebook with me (and sorry iPhone users) while I have the phone and it is amazing, I just don’t leave it on. It will be great to always have a pad of paper and an array of pens to play with.

What else?

We don’t have a bathtub where we are staying just a handicapped accessible bathroom with shower for my poor husband’s busted Achilles tendon…but as soon as we are able to move back home, I’m buying some bubbles, going to listen to some music and sing out loud, happily. Oh, to take a bath again! Fun.

I’m going to start seeing more movies on my own because movies make me very happy and I like going to a movie by myself on a Sunday afternoon when you don’t have to pay for parking.

Next week one of my best friends and I will have lunch together, we missed this week because her kids are home from college, and I can’t wait to hear her stories! We always laugh together and I treasure her friendship.

I am going to buy some pomegranate seeds tomorrow and treat myself to a frozen yogurt, unflavored, sweet and tart at the same time, like a frozen version of a delicious Indian drink, a lassi. I’m drooling with anticipation. I’m going to make a donation to the ASPCA because I haven’t been able to give money for a very long time but it bothers me and even giving a little means a lot. My animal-loving daughter and I will be donating together.

The last thing I plan to do is to find some pretty pink cotton candy and delight in its texture melting on my tongue leaving sugar sprinkles that make me giggle with happiness. I can’t wait.

The Last Engaging Conversation You Had (Plinky Prompt)

Image via Wikipedia

• An Engaging Conversation
• Laundrymat My brother-in-law, Ron. He’s the younger brother I never had and thus, he’s the only one who can tease me about my advanced age (because he is a year younger.) We don’t talk often but when we do and have the time (like today) we can speak for over an hour easily. We talked about family, friends, trends (I need to fill him in on this stuff) our brilliant ideas that we have come up with together (hint: washing clothes). I ask him questions, he asks me; we delight at comparing stories, movies (the new Woody Allen movie) meals. Before I married my husband, Ron and I were good friends, we ate out, we talked, he always kept an eye on me when my soon-to-be-husband was still living in Maryland. I truly appreciated that back then and I have never forgotten it. More importantly, he helped keep a creepy, pesky gray mouse (and his relatives) out of the apartment that I was living in. I am terrified of mice (“Eek Eek A Mouse”) I still have the image in my mind of Ron, intense and hard-working filling in mouse exits and entrances with steel wool like he was working on a deeply important project. He was, I was hysterical. He has my back, I have his. P.S. I did have an image of a REAL mouse on here but it freaked me out so much I had to change it to the only mouse I will ever like, a fake one and Mickey.
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Nope, I Still Haven't Seen It

Cover of Last Tango in Paris

My husband and I just talked about a movie that was a classic and neither of us have ever seen it. It’s called “Last Tango In Paris.” I don’t plan to see it “for myself (?)? but we do plan on seeing it together sometime. It’s so expensive to go to the movies that we haven’t been to one in a long time. However, we do have Netflix and have found that really helpful. It’s nice to watch a movie in our home where we can pause to get a snack and not miss anything or just take a break if the movie is too long. This is a movie I haven’t seen, it’s even nicer that my husband hasn’t seen it either. It will be our movie date.