Kim K’s Greasy Butt And The Kardiashians

Sorry, Not a big fan of the Kardashians.

Never have been and never will be, besides, what are people fans of exactly? I am being serious. How have the Kardashians branded themselves in such a way that they are everywhere making shit tons of money by doing nothing but smiling or not smiling, wearing clothes or not wearing clothes?

I don’t get it, seriously, I really don’t. Someone, maybe the Mom Kardashian (Oh, she would love this, GRANDMA Kardashian) is a marketing genius because that’s about all the genius I see in that family. Talent? Nope. Brains? I have NO idea. Class? I’m laughing. What is it that people really like about them?

Is it just a reality tv show gone wild? I can’t say I have ever watched an episode, actually maybe once or twice, but so what? All I know, in my humble opinion, is that Mom Kardashian-Jenner (now ex-Jenner?) should be going to therapy

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to accept that she is not 22 anymore and stop dressing as if she is. Ouch, I know, Granny. But, eventually you will have to accept your age even though I”m sure you will have as many plastic surgeries as you can. How many you have had already is anyone’s guess. It is only with the kindness of my heart that I have not posted the “before” pictures (check it out.)

I think I did like Bruce Jenner when he was an Olympic swimmer but now? He’s a joke and why he is letting himself become

Bruce Jenner (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

the butt of a joke (no pun intended) is beyond me. If my husband started wearing bright red nail polish and completely changing his style, we would have a very long talk in a therapist’s office, ASAP.

So, if I get the gossip straight, and believe me this could be all wrong, Mom Kardashian is now dating a younger dude who happens to be black, Khloe , sorry, KOURTNEY is thankfully married to Scott Disick (I hope that’s the right sister) and pregnant with her second child) one of them ( KHLOE) is allegedly NOT the child of a Kardashian (which would not be the end of the world and why she doesn’t take a DNA test is saying A LOT.) Remember those questions on the PSAT’s : which of these items does not look like the

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other? I think that if you put all the Kardashian sisters together, Kourtney would be the answer but there is nothing WRONG with that, in fact, some would say it’s a benefit unless perhaps her biological father is OJ, but what do I know?  I think there are two mini Kardashians, one of whom, Kendall (?) dropped her last name and is a model. Not sure about the other one. Oh, wait, I think her name is Kylie (maybe.))

If I have gotten the name of the sisters wrong, please don’t correct me because frankly, I really don’t give a rat’s ass. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist.) In my opinion only, the only likeable person in the family to me is baby North West.  I truly hope her parents will protect her from the “cray cray” Kardashian family, just saying. Because I believe in one thing: Kanye and Kim absolutely ADORE their baby girl. While I may not agree with designing a huge diamond for my own three-year old, hey, it’s their baby and their money.

We know you love her and would not want to harm her in any way. Protect her, Kanye and Kim, be your own family, set some boundaries, please. Yeah, right.

“North West?” Just Hear Me Groan… (Pop Cop)

Well, now I’ve heard it all, yup, that’s right. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West named their brand new baby girl: wait for it: NORTH. Her name is

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NORTH WEST. Let me guess, if little North West gets married she can only get married to a guy or a gal  (Yay) whose last name is AIRLINES, ba da ding!  Out of all names possible this is the one that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West came up with. Seriously?  I think the nickname that they picked “Nori” is adorable. Why not just NAME the kid “Nori” and make life simpler for everyone, including your daughter. You know, of course, that North is going to change her name, for sure, once she is of legal age and who can blame her? I swear, I hope she picks something old-fashioned just to annoy her parents, how about Ruth or Elizabeth, Bertha or Helen.

Is anyone else getting sick of these so-called “sell-ebreties” naming their kids all these weird ass kinds of names for attention to be “unique aka weird.”I think Apple was the first piece of fruit to be named and we thought that was outrageous back then. Oh Gwynnie, you old trend setter, you.

Besides, maybe it’s just me but I don’t consider Kim Kardashian a celebrity. Meryl Streep, yes, Kim Kardashian, so not.That’s like comparing Honey BooBoo to Shirley Temple, the child star of my youth. The whole family should leave television and work for a box chain store, maybe Wal-Mart or K-mart without the benefit of hair and make-up, wearing sneakers, not stilettos and roomy uniforms not dresses that are 6 sizes too small for them.

My goodness, Mom Kardashian,I mean Jenner, whatever, go home and start counting your face/body lifts or work for the poor, do something good for the world, hide and do volunteer work. Now you are going to have your own television show? Gosh I am so shocked! (Not) Here’s one viewer that will not tune in. But, then again, I’ve never watched one episode of any Kardashian show. It makes me want to gag. Rumor has it that North West will make an appearance on your show, WOW, what a ratings booster. Want to make a bet it’s going to be on Day One?!

The only Kardashian I think I like is the married Kardashian (I googled-her name, Khloe) who is trying to have a baby (allegedly) and I feel bad for her if it is true. I too, went through infertility for two and a half years and it’s excruciatingly painful both physically and emotionally. Especially when you have two sisters who have children already. Trust me, I know. In the middle of my infertility struggles, my sister had me lie down next to her and go over names she liked for her second child. It was so NOT cool. I just remember trying to keep my act together until we left and then bursting into tears when I saw my mom. She understood.

Well, Nori, you have a cute little nickname, please use it as often as possible. When you start school, nursery school, pre-school make sure they call you Nori. I know I’m getting a little ahead of myself, but all those SAT forms, driver’s ed forms, etc. when they want the LAST NAME FIRST: West, FIRST NAME: NORTH. Wow, just wow. Good luck, sweetheart.

p.s. if you happen to have a sibling…will it be South or East? We’re taking bets already. but, we may not have to worry about that quite yet. It’s Hollywood. Things change…rapidly.

Compass (Photo credit: Shevralay)