Just, Right, Fair, Peace, Trust
World upside down, bloody mess
No senseless killings.
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Measure, Love and Hope
Just in time, align with God
We give gratitude
Sun, honey dripping
Vacation, just for me, you
Cleanse our inner souls.
Annie looked beautiful when we first landed in the Caribbean for our honeymoon. We did nothing but eat and drink, and relax in the sun. I had worked 80 hour weeks back home, this was heaven.
We went snorkeling in the afternoon to see glowing yellow and orange striped fish, in the aqua water. The only decision we had been what to order at the swim-up bar in the pool, a lime drenched mojito or a sweet mai thai served with a wedge of pineapple and a fake red cherry.
Dinner was late and I ordered a bottle of champagne and we ate roasted vegetables, chicken with spices and loaves of thick, crusty bread. There was dancing so we decided to join other people. Annie wore a bright flowered dress and soon after Annie suggested we go for a swim, we both loved water, especially Annie. We raced into the water, holding hands.
I admit I wasn’t as good as a swimmer as she was, I loved watching her as she laughed and I could see her head, like the flash of an automatic camera, her blond hair in the warm waves, happy she was having fun.
After about twenty minutes I called to her to come back in, I was getting tired of waiting and started yelling for her to come back, I still heard her laughter but it wasn’t funny anymore to me. “Annie, come in,” I shouted as I was approaching the shore.
Scuba diver. Found at Plongée sous-marine & obt’d Image:Plongeur bouteilles.jpg id’d there as (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
As I sat on the sand, I saw other tourists looking puzzled and they pointed first to me, then to Annie. The tide was getting rough. I kept yelling over to her but she would wave and keep going.
I talked to the people on the shore and told them my story. Someone went inside for help, I was getting nervous. The manager offered the use of his own boat and lifeguard. I knew Annie would be mad but I was so worried that they raced into the water on their boat, if she ran into trouble or was possibly sick.
I sat on the beach, like a statue, rocking back and forth. I could not stop crying. Someone offered a blanket, another endless cups of strong black coffee. I saw the coast guard and his team looking with flood lights. A whole day went by. Finally, the coast guard said they would have to end the search. Someone had called the police as well as emergency vehicles. I was so weak from crying and not sleeping, I could barely speak.
“I’m sorry Sir, there is no body in that water.” We searched everywhere, scuba divers with advanced equipment came and we found nothing. She was not on the property at all, last night we did not let anyone in or out of our community and she definitely is not in the water. I’m so sorry, Sir.”said the head of police.
Finally, I let out a blood curdling scream, “she’s out there, you have to find her” but they shook their heads firmly. Later, everyone walked me to our room and the manager unlocked the door. I looked around, inside, there was not a single item of Annie’s, not her clothing, her make up, her tooth-brush, nothing of hers was there. I saw them look at each other, frowning.
“What did you do to her?” I screamed to the hotel and the police. She WAS here, ask anyone, at dinner, at the scuba diving lessons.” They started to cuff my hands.
“We did, Sir, we did that last night, there never was anyone with you named Annie, you arrived alone checked into this room alone and stayed by yourself. We even called the airlines and you were flying alone there was not an Ann or Annie on the flight.”
I fought with them, I told them she HAD been here but they insisted on taking me to the hospital to get checked out. “But what about Annie? I sobbed. “Perhaps she is waiting for you at the hospital” one police offer said, they gave me a shot and I let them take me, to see Annie, so that they would believe me.
I’m still at a hospital, a different one. Here they also said Annie was not real, over and over again. They call me delusional but even now, after all these months I know that Annie had been with me, for real, even if she had only been in my mind.
That counts, right?
Photo courtesy of Wikipedia
Sunset Police Car (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Calm down, it’s not what you think. I can’t handle alcohol on ANY level, never could. Way back in my college days my friends would order a pitcher of beer and a Coke for me. My now 20-year-old son’s advice is that I didn’t try hard enough. I should have just kept drinking because “it gets better.” I’m sorry. I’m apparently a disappointment to my daughter and husband too.
One would think with my distaste for alcohol I would potentially have NO trouble with the law. That might not be the case. I went to my doctor, months ago, because I had consistent tingling in my legs and my internist (of course) referred me to a neurologist. The appointment was made and I forgot about it while my husband and I vacationed in Rhode Island for a few days. We had bright, sunny skies, we dug our toes into the silky sand, and ate raspberry scones, home-made sticky baked french toast for breakfast every day with a bowl of fresh blueberries and inexpensive lobster rolls at night. We napped daily.
One day I remember walking towards our car to my husband and then……. I was down……. I was on the floor, lying down, face down and have no idea what happened. Did I black out? Maybe. My knees and legs were bloody and filled with gravel but luckily my face was in good shape, apparently at the last-minute my husband said my arm came up instinctively to save my face. I hadn’t slipped on anything, there were no stones to tumble on, there was no logical reason this happened. I hadn’t twisted my ankle or sprained any ligament. I just went down. I wasn’t happy. Nobody was happy.
Upon my return I was even more nervous about seeing the neurologist who had ordered a plethora of tests including a CAT scan. My brain was perfect, the tests were perfect. Except for one. I could not, literally could NOT, walk a straight line. He told me I flunked that one outright and he had no idea why. He also felt there was no need to pursue it after seeing my brain scan. It’s true that a symptom of Fibromyalgia is imbalance but drunken-looking imbalance? Let’s say I was tired and driving sloppily, imagine a police car pulling me over and asking me to walk a straight line, maybe they would even give me a do-over since my breathalyzer test was normal…. I swear I’d be in the slammer pretty darn fast. Hopefully, you can still make one phone call. Even better, do you think I should get a doctor’s note?
Image via Wikipedia
To Steal OR Not To Steal……
I have grappled with the answer for many years. The answer: it depends. If the person looked poor and was stealing a banana or a can of baked beans, of course I would NOT tell. If it was just a quick glimpse and I wasn’t sure, I wouldn’t say a thing. I would have to be very, very sure that the person INDEED was stealing. If I witnessed someone steal something expensive (I am not talking about a jelly bean or a piece of candy from those huge bins because even I have done that) I probably would report the person. I would also want to hide afterwards because while I am happy to right a wrong, I also don’t want to be punched in the face. I myself stole a small tube of Elmer’s Glue from the neighborhood 5 and 10 store when I was very little and my mom marched me back in there the next day to apologize and return it. Truly, it’s not worth the humiliation. At any age.
Image via Wikipedia
Oh THAT SIlly Thing……..
It was an honest mistake. No really, I swear. I was in the center of town in MA. running to the post office to pick up a mountain of resumes for a freelance assignment I had accepted. The whole project had problems and I knew from my one meeting with the head of the company, this project didn’t sound necessary. I told them what I thought and still they insisted. I knew deep inside that they did not need anyone else and I told them that an in-house person would do, but they wouldn’t listen. I worked hard, really hard but one morning, parked outside of the post office I realized that I inadvertently left my keys in the car only to discover it was locked. Locked solid.
A police officer was near-by and I told them what I had done. I was incredibly mad at myself and felt like an utter fool. My husband and I had two very young children at the time so I did not want to bother him if I didn’t have to. The police officer was nice enough to offer me a ride home in the police car to pick up the second set of keys. I called my husband immediately and told him to bring our son, age 3, outside. He was a huge fan of police cars, firetrucks, and ambulances and I wanted him to see the police car. I felt pretty stupid locking myself out of the car and I don’t really know what the neighbors thought but to my son, I was a rock star and there was NO feeling better than that.
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