Extra Poop With Your Turkey Burger?

Deutsch: Veganer Burger mit Pommes vom Restaur...

Deutsch: Veganer Burger mit Pommes vom Restaurant “Kopfeck” in München (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Oh wait. What? You are not actually asking me, if I want more poop in my burger? There already IS poop or “fecal matter”or disease causing germs like “salmonella” or “staph” IN my turkey burger? Funny, I didn’t see those items listed on the ingredients, did you?  Well, I certainly don’t feel guilty munching on my cheddar cheese all beef burger with carmelized onions now. Of all things you had to find in turkey burgers, you found poop? I’m sorry but that is downright disgusting.

I don’t know what to eat anymore. I thought I was being heart healthy by ordering a lower fat turkey burger but turkey burger with “fecal matter” no thank you. Just mention a turkey burger now and I start retching. Will I ever eat a turkey burger again? I really can’t say besides how did this actually happen?  More importantly, how long has it been going on and why wasn’t it inspected properly?

My beef cheeseburger was served with delicious, well done,well seasoned thin french fries. I ate about three or four of them, I’m not much of a french fry girl. If I had to pick food that most people enjoy but that I could easily live without? My pick would be french fries. (Dessert is another matter altogether. I could not give up dessert.)In front of me are a pound of rainbow cookies, (Rainbow cookies have thin layers of marzipan, cake and jelly ) that I bought for my husband’s birthday.) I also bought him a brownie topped with chocolate ganache  that he “forgot” to eat. Okay buddy, that sucker is going to get stale if I don’t remind you; I’m just doing you a service, always happy to help out, hon.

Tricolor cookies

Tricolor cookies (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When I get stuck on something (not that I am stubborn or anything) I just can’t go back that easily. There was a dead bee in my Greek salad years ago and I couldn’t return to that restaurant  for years. What is safe? I guess veggie burgers are still approved… Here’s the thing, what once was considered “safe”,  before becomes questionable, how soon can we trust that it’s truly safe this time? My solution? I can always eat rainbow cookies, they may have a little food coloring in them but I can’t imagine there’s any fecal matter. When will I be able to trust that there is no poop in my turkey burger? I have no idea, maybe I’ll wait and see and eat rainbow cookies until I am very, very, sure.

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I Wish I Had Twizzlers Right Now

A pack of Twizzlers

Image via Wikipedia

Random things about me:

I love deleting my SPAM folder. I don’t just like it, I look forward to it. Now its at zero, YES!!

When I eat a piece of dark chocolate I feel virtuous. Let’s face it, milk is my chocolate of choice, it’s sweet, it’s sensual but dark is healthy and I’m aiming to please. Health points, two for me.

Haven’t had red meat in three months. When hubby starts grilling those famous burgers of his outside, I know I won’t be able to resist. I can deal with that: moderation.

I am proud to say that I both Love and Like my son and my daughter and I’m Proud of them both. This is an amazing feeling. It gives my life purpose and meaning. They have turned into wonderful young adults, 17 and 19. Goal: Achieved.

It takes my ten-year old dog more time to jump on and off the bed. I have noticed a difference in the last year and it breaks my heart. You can never be ready but I am starting to prepare myself. Preparation: Grief. I need to do this. I love her THAT much.

Starting to explore the Internet for new recipes  to try. Good for me.

Bought a juicer, used it for a week. Hid it. Pain in the ass to clean. Need to find it (again) and man up. Love the juices, hate the cleaning. I need to get over myself. Fail.

Am reading a trash novel, it’s a nice break from all the morbid and depressing books I always read. It’s not even trashy as it is easy chick lit although rumor has it that the phrase is not politically correct anymore. Sorry, Jennifer Weiner, author.

When I wear the perfume Angel, I feel special and people compliment me on it all the time. I like that.

I dress so poorly, my daughter is a bit ashamed of me, she has a right to be. She’s taking me shopping soon, I’m more than a little afraid.

I have very bad feet. I can only wear one type of sneaker with orthotics. Other people with bad feet understand this. Fashionable girls (like my daughter) do not. That, I cannot change.

Deviled eggs, roast chicken, banana bread, pot roast, pea soup, chicken soup are things I cook/bake extremely well.

I once pooped in my pants when I had a stomach virus and couldn’t make it home on time. Mad sick.

Last night I woke up and my jaw was locked, it was terrifying. I must have been clenching my teeth so hard I could not open my mouth. Grabbed an Alleve and swallowed it, thankfully it helped.

I have a fear of germs and sickness, especially getting the dreadful Eppiglottitis again which just about killed me. Twice. Pain like searing swords in a red, hot throat. Childbirth was easy compared to it. Please don’t come back again. I carry Purell in my purse.

Sometimes I feel scared and anxious of things in advance, I try to talk myself out of it. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. I hate when it happens.

I still have stuffed animals and I am proud of it. There is no age limit on stuffed animal friends.

I tell myself that “life is short” so I should “enjoy each day” but then I forget. Working on it.

The TV Executives should never have taken off the show “Brothers and Sisters.” Don’t even think about taking off “Parenthood.”

I should listen to more music.