I. Am. A. Junkie.

You saw it coming, I know, I know. I think I did too.But I didn’t want to believe it. Oh, hush, there are things we don’t like to see about ourselves so give me a break.  I believe I have a sugar overload headache now but please don’t make me feel worse than I already do. Have I learned a lesson? I think so. Will it change my eating habits? I’m sure going to try to change them, whether it will work or not I don’t yet know.

 

What? That is too tentative for you? Hey, Sorry, I’m trying. I’m NOT trying? Well for me I am. Admitting that you have a problem, isn’t that the first step?

 

Binging on sugary items is really not good for me, especially (only) at night after dinner. (Shush!)  I had a wonderful rice pudding- crème brûlée dessert

 

Crème brûlée

 

that came with our dinner last night. It was INCLUDED in the price. The heavenly part of this rice pudding was that they carmelized the sugar on top so it had that marvelous crunchy crème brûlée topping of crunchy sugar. If it was up to me or my husband they could have doubled up on that part. Oh, I forgot, there was coconut in the rice pudding too, Mmmm.

 

Delicious. but that to us was like a pre-dessert (yes, “pre-D”.) When we came home we still needed a small scoop of ice cream ( I had frozen yogurt,

 

Frozen dessert - alternative to ice cream

Frozen dessert – alternative to ice cream (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

that should count for effort) and a few tiny pieces of leftover mini Halloween candy. They were as small as the word “small” typed and printed. Really. Not even WORTH mentioning.

 

I did feel that sugar headache rush so I didn’t stop eating I just switched. I needed something to balance the sugar. I ended up eating a small individual sized bag of pretzels, salt definitely being the antidote to sugar. I finished the pretzels with a box of cold Yoo-Hoo to drink (love that beverage) stayed up a while and then went to sleep.

 

I admit, I did go a little overboard with the sweet stuff, the sugar smack, so I will be aware to stop and not continue the sugar habit all night long. Will I give it up completely? Sad to say, I really don’t think so. If someone gave me hundreds of thousands of dollars I probably would but it wouldn’t be worth it to me otherwise. Besides, I can only imagine the headaches I would get.

 

However, I will decrease the amount of sugar I have starting…tonight. Maybe one day I will give up sugar entirely. (Stop laughing) Maybe I will have to because I will get diabetes (heaven forbid) which my mother has. It was always my father’s greatest fear and I understand it now, he liked sugary desserts as much as I do.  My mom cheats a lot, she never orders dessert but orders an extra fork and digs in to all our desserts, she gets the best deal out of all of us! (Enjoy it, mom!)

I was born to a Viennese father and a German/French mother, it’s in my genes, I come by it honestly. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it. I’ll try to be better, better, yes, but I am not taking all the sugar out of my diet now. At least not yet. Not until I am forced by three medical doctors to do that. Does anyone understand? We gave up our home-made jelly doughnuts for the third time, it’s been three whole weeks. I think that is progress, great progress. They are our most favorite food. We miss them, we really do. Maybe next week?

Sunday can’t come soon enough for me.

 

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Indian Dinner, My Favorite American Snacks

 

Chamuças de Goa. Chamuças (samosas) from Goa.Last night, hubby and I, after treating ourselves to see the adorable movie, Chef, went out to a lovely Indian restaurant a few towns away from where we live.  It was a treat and we ordered Samosas (I always get these mixed up with Samoas, Girl Scout Cookies that my kids love.)  We ordered the Samosas three

different ways. One was potato with peas and lentils, one was spinach and the other was filled with lamb and spices. They were delicious and filling and frankly my stomach could have stopped there but what’s the fun in that?

We then ordered Shrimp Saag, shrimp in a bed of spinach ( I thought there was a little cream in there, my husband said absolutely not) and an amazing sweet dish of chicken in a yellow cream sauce made of honey, cashews and apples. The consistency was smooth so all the ingredients except for the chicken were blended, creamy and rich. We also ordered one portion of Nan which resembles pita bread if you ironed it to barely nothing. After all, what good is all that creamy, sweet sauce without the proper bread to dunk it in?

I drank a sweet Lassi ( a yogurt drink made with ice, rosewater, sweet syrup and blended) see the easy recipe below, and my husband had some alcoholic drink with figs, rum, bourbon and too many other ingredients. I took a sip hoping I would like the taste. I made my usual disgusted face that my family is so fond of seeing, gasped and reached for my water-glass to clear my palate of that nasty alcohol taste. Next time:I’m ordering a double lassi, on the rocks.

English: Fat-free lassi from Mumbai

We ate like four-year old children, having dinner at 5 o’ clock, (okay it was really 4:50pm) but that has never bothered us before so by the time we came home it was only 6:15 a time when most families are preparing dinner. Nope, not us. When we came

 *Easy Sweet Lassi

Ingredients:Servings:2-3Units: US | Metric
1 cup yoghurt
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup ice-cube
3 -5 teaspoons sugar
1 pinch salt
Put all ingredients in a blender until smooth.
Read more: food.com/easy recipe

home we had dessert (I deeply regretted not ordering the yogurt balls in honey…) so I had the gigantic molasses cookie I had purchased at the small grocery story in town. It was enough for  three people but I finished it with ease. Had too much sugar and no spice ( I expected ginger) but I’m not that fussy so I ate the entire thing.

Around 9 pm my husband and I roamed around the kitchen because at that point we were ready for a snack, I just needed SOMETHING.  I headed to one of my all-time favorite snack combinations and one of my dog Lexi’s favorite snacks too. A small packet of square pretzels, two slices of Kraft Individually Wrapped American cheese and a box of chocolate Yoo-Hoo to drink.

Now that, was a perfect snack. It is always the perfect snack for me and for my dog. I only gave her one pretzel and bite of cheese but she knows the sound of the pretzel bag and comes running when she first hears the bag rustle.

Yoo-hoo Chocolate DrinkBasically, you can take me out to a fancy dinner anywhere but when I come home, I retreat to the food I really love. My snack: pretzels, Kraft American cheese slices and Yoo-Hoo, my childhood drink of choice.  I went to bed, happy.

 

Dedicated to PK Sr.

The Tilt Test Has Been Scheduled

English: Kirnu, a steel roller coaster in Linn...

 

I’m not ashamed, ever, to say how I feel. Obviously you all know that by now. I’m honest, sometimes too honest but writing gets my feelings out, the good, the bad and the ugly. The anxiety, the fear, the fibromyalgia symptoms and most lovingly, the food.

 

Because I had another collapse/fainting/black out episode/severely bruised my leg and had a huge bump on my head… I now have to have a series of tests. I keep telling all these stupid doctors that I am sure it is due to my low blood pressure. 85/60 wouldn’t you consider that as a cause?

I have salted my food, adding pretzels and potato chips and nothing seems to help. Doctors bug everyone about high blood pressure but as my internist always said, “Yeah, I have low blood pressure too, just sit up slowly and salt your food.” After twelve years do you think that’s been working? Apparently not. You were only interested in this now because I told you my rheumatologist had suggested an idea and would run it by my nephrologist. All of a sudden you wanted to get involved? Like you forgot I asked about this for the last twelve years??!!

Nothing like a little medical competition.

But still, they have to rule out everything else first. Gotta love the medical industry, schedule those tests, pay the bills, I’ll see you for seven minutes, kick you out at eight. Insurance number? Same address? Medications? The same, doesn’t matter, fill it out again, we know you were here yesterday. Rules are rules.

English: Blood pressure measurement.

As one of my favorite doctors, my nephrologist, put it you must have: “The Vomit Test.” Thanks Doc, not the right time to be friendly and casual even though I’m sure your intentions were honorable. I can’t even say the name of the test without feeling like I am going to throw-up. I am dreading this, although I admit, the nurse who is monitoring the test has probably seen it all. Actually, not really, I am dreading it more than anyone or anything.

I HATE the feeling of being nauseous, dizzy, off-balance, I have always called this test “The Dreaded Tilt Test” and so here we are. My cardiologist talked me into it and since his father (coincidentally) was my pediatrician growing up and because I like this dude I said I would do it. But NOT HAPPILY. (I can still cancel and I am considering this.)

I’m the nerd who has to take Dramamine for a long car ride or any ride in a boat. Those big cruise ship lines where they say you don’t feel a thing? Been there, done that and definitely needed a drug for anti-nausea. I HATE ROLLER COASTERS. Went on a baby roller coaster once and screamed my head off, never to be seen on a roller coaster again.

If I’m feeling nauseous just thinking about the test I can only imagine what the test itself is like when they swing me around from start to finish, in rapid movements, in different positions. They said it only lasts about thirty minutes. For me, this is thirty minutes in absolute hell. If I see this contraption and it is anything like the Disney tilt chairs or like a small roller coaster, I am out of there. Cancelling has never looked better. Help!

“The vomit test?” Really?

 

*SWEET! ( A Foodie Blog )

Nutella, mon amour!

Image by JoX1989 via Flickr

I watch shows like “Unwrapped” on the Food Network Channel and it does me no good. I get too hungry while I am watching it so I slip downstairs for a snack or I’m afraid… seven. I can’t possibly match what I am eating to what I am watching so I stick to what we have in the house; it is not a pretty picutre. Tonight, I had two mini packs of cereal with milk; first, Apple Jacks and then Fruit Loops. Two sweet snacks with healthy one percent milk but after that the problems continue….now I need salt.

I located one of my new favorite items “Snyder’s Pumpernickel Onion Pretzel Sticks. Close your eyes and munch away and you will swear that you are eating a piece or two of pumpernickel toast. I know, right? It seems too good to be true but it really does work.  Another new product I have found are the 6-pack of Raisinettes.  You know when you go to the movies and they try to sell you practically a quart size of Raisinettes for twenty dollars? (ok,so I am exaggerating a little.) You feel like a complete slob if you eat the entire package but it’s just plain wrong to think we could stop half way. Impossible. Now this 6 pack gives you a smaller size so when you eat the entire package, you really didn’t ! Best part about it? You have five packages left!

On “The Best Thing I Ever Ate- Sweet Tooth” they were featuring crepes.  Sure, I will try anything that calls itself “Pure Ecstasy” (and I mean that only in a chocolate way) but frankly since I am not a chef I would just go for the main ingredient which is Nutella. Nutella is an amazing creamy combination of chocolate and hazelnuts; it looks a little like milk chocolate pudding in a jar.  I don’t need to make a crêpe for this delicious combination, all I need is a spoon, preferably a big one. Nutella is a staple in our house sans crêpe.

The next thing I saw featured was the Sant Ambroeus’ cake, named for the Sant Ambroeus, café.  It’s actually two (chocolate) desserts, chocolate mousse AND a pocket of chocolate custard,  in chocolate.  This would pretty much ensure a bonding experience with my daughter who is a complete chocolate addict. My goal is to take her there one day.

Next stop is to Tartine in San Francisco, a double pain au chocolate which is like a croissant, shaped differently with a lot of chocolate in it. In addition the other ingredient is lots of butter. Let’s see we have bread dough, butter and an amazing amount of delicious chocolate. What’s not to like? This is just not anybody’s chocolate either, (Hershey’s chocolate is still always fine with me) it’s special and I have to admit I would love to try it.

Next up, chocolate, peanut butter popcorn. I couldn’t kid you about this if I tried and why would I make it up?  I’m really not sure I like the sound of it. Convince me. A perfect blend of salty and sweet, maybe you have something there. Wait, what? Add popcorn and peanuts, chipolte chocolate sauce? “Sweet heat?”  Served with butter popcorn ice cream over home-made Cracker Jacks?  I think I will pass but of course that is just my opinion.  Another feature was like a home-made pop tart.  Seriously? A pastry shell and an interior of fresh fruit. Sorry, but to me this looks like more of a cereal bar and too healthy too. Of course I would try it if it was in front of me but I don’t think I would seek it out. If all else fails, and there is no deluxe chocolate combination to eat I will stick quite happily to my Nutella and to my Raisinettes. Now if they only came in dark chocolate 6-packs for my sister’s birthday…..

*I am not responsible for any incorrect detail due to intensified drooling.

When Stress Takes My Hand And Leads Me To The Refrigerator

 

day 75

Image by kygp via Flickr

 

I could say that eating unabashedly after dinner is not my fault. I could say that my hormones take over and I just go blindly to the kitchen without thought or reason. That’s partially true. It’s 10:00pm, “do you know where your children are?” asks  Channel 5 (or what I refer to as the “murder channel.”) Yes, I know where my children are but do they know where I am? Probably. They hear my not-so-lightly-padded- feet in the kitchen, the sound of the refrigerator opening and closing, cabinets flung open and the sound of crackling from aluminum packages. When there is something stressful going on in my life I get extraordinarly hungry. No, not at meal times. Not for breakfast or lunch or dinner. I’m doing a days worth of snacking after dinner and while I know its wrong, I still do it. What leads me to the refrigerator at night, is pure and simple, stress. When I am anxious, I eat. I eat, therefore I am. Food comforts me and even thought it’s not a popular thing to say or an easy one to admit, it’s true.

While I grab and choose food there’s usually something that prompts me: a commercial on television, a friend’s description of her lunch or I just need sweet than salty, sweet than salty and  yes, sweet AND salty. Sigh. It’s a vicious circle and I can’t blame anyone except myself or my evil twin as I like to call her. An example of my choices: pretzels dipped in Boursin cheese, Yoo-Hoo, my beverage of choice, vanilla cake, Oreo cookies, Munster cheese spread with strawberry jam, left over pizza with salt, Yodels, rice with ketchup, chips with salsa and guacamole, 100 calorie packs (because they don’t count!), chocolate covered cherries and baked Lays potato chips (because I am watching my weight) GRIN.

Full disclosure: I have been known (infrequently) to have a sample of all of the above when I am not stressed (or don’t know I am stressed) and just hungry. I know it’s bad when I don’t think about what I want to eat, I just grab and stuff. If you ask me if I feel guilty about it, I would have to say, in all honesty, no. While I am eating I don’t think about it, the day after is another story. I am able to forgive myself quickly and at least try to eat healthy food the next  day. Luckily, this bingeing doesn’t last more than a few hours at a time. I don’t drink alcohol, I don’t do drugs, my vice, when stressed or just hungry is simple: food. I am a foodie and my idea of a lovely evening is going out with my husband or friends to a delicious meal. It’s gluttony, it’s enjoyment and it’s food. I take full responsibility for my actions, stressful or starving, I’m ready to order.