Happy Second Birthday, Lexi

2/16/14

Dear Lexi,  Happy 2nd Birthday.  I love you, sweetie-pie. What a good, good dog you are,  so cute and affectionate.

You were a nasty, wild, hurtful puppy, weren’t you? Don’t look so sad, you didn’t know better. I know you are sorry. You were just an oral devil dog, digging those demon sharp puppy teeth into our arms and legs and clamping down. We probably tasted better than all the chew toys we bought you. Our welts gave you texture, right? Grandma kept telling us to “give you back” every single day but I couldn’t do that. Many trainers tried but they all said “You’ve got a really willful puppy there but if/when she grows out of it you’ll have a really great dog.”And, sweet girl that is who you have become.(Thank God)

At about eighteen months, from one day to the next while we were busy doing other things you became a dog, an amazing dog. One that cuddles and protects us, hugs us and plays with us. You are the dog we always wanted, we just needed to give you and ourselves a little more time.

It taught us all about being more patient, didn’t it?

Right now you are sleeping with your head on my knee, nuzzling, a part of you always has to be directly on me.  You know each member of the family so well. With Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain I do spend a lot of time in bed and that’s where you come, leaping on the bed, to be with me, happily. When “Dad” is around you get the leash, go to the front door, and start whimpering. You get instantly wild when your brother comes to visit, but we know he provokes you. He allows you to be wild, we don’t. Yes, I know, YOU are WAY cool when you rough house together.

Oh, but when your sister comes home from college you hear her parking her car and you run to the front door and start crying until she comes in.  Yes, our daughter, your sister, will kneel down to your level and you hug each other while you cover her with kisses. That picture of the two of you on the ground stays in my heart forever.

Have a Happy 2nd Birthday, thank you for choosing us at the shelter to be your family.

Love, Mom

I’m So Sorry, Puppy

Dear Lexi

I admit, you were a very bad puppy when you were young but I’m sorry I called you Lucifer and the “Puppy From Hell.” You really acted like the devil incarnate but I should have kept those feelings to myself.  I thought you would never change from that biting, horrific puppy you were, EVER. My friends told me you would grow up but I honestly didn’t believe them; you were nasty and mean and had that defiant puppy look in your eyes, that “dare me” look.  I remember screaming out loud in agony when your dagger like teeth would bite and hold on to my flesh. I had red, swollen welts and scratches all over my arms and legs. We all did.

My mother would be on the phone and I would shriek in pain and would have to hang up and call her back because I had to physically detach your teeth from my wrist. I swear you were out to kill me. My mother, protective as always, was completely direct and told me to “give you back.”  “Return her, right now” she said, “before you get more attached.”

I couldn’t do it. I just did not have the heart to return you to the shelter, it’s not who I am. But honestly, you were a living hell. We had trainers come, one after the other, some of the best in the United States, all of them shook their heads and said “she’s a willful thing, isn’t she?” We already knew that. You had dragged me into a dirty pond when you were six months old, I hadn’t realized your strength. I didn’t give up the leash because I had no idea where you would go, so you pulled me in after you. I have a photo of you and me, me and my white, muddy pants coming home with you, puppy, looking quite pleased.

You went into our garbage cans, and ate used tissues and ballpoint pens, leaving ink stains everywhere. You were always wild, once you got yourself stuck in a fence and I thought for sure your head would be decapitated but your “sister” figured out a way to dig you out. Thank her, I was useless. You always ran away, we could never find you, though you always loved food and would return for a nice, big, juicy treat. “Breaking Bad” was the name of a popular television show, “Being Bad” was your personal motto.

Then, from one day to another, I couldn’t even pin point the time, you changed. All of a sudden, you calmed down and were always near me. If I was sick, you would jump on the bed and lie with me, part of you always touching me. With a chronic pain illness, Fibromyalgia, I’m in bed a lot and you are at my side, always. In the living room you would always climb on the couch and settle down right next to the person sitting there. After that you settled down and gave sweet kisses and charmed everyone. You love people. You even offered your paw, like Lassie.

But when a stranger passes or someone knocks on the door, BEWARE!  You growl, bark, show your teeth, protect us. A car door can slam and you are on the job. But, now, you are one big love, one sweet endearing, mush and I appreciate you every minute. I guess we both needed to learn to be more patient.

Now, you are in my lap and I’m giving you pieces of chicken, it’s just you and me. I love you, Lexi but you know that and I know you love me too.

My Stubborn Mule

Bucket-headed dog (Photo credit: Paul Kidd)

The sun shines through the slated blinds on my red dog’s face. As much of a pain in the bleep she is, I can’t stop loving her. She’s my girl, Lexi, the one I rescued from the shelter and even though I can’t walk her (she is ridiculously strong) in public, she’s still mine. She PULLS me everywhere, I have to stay in my neighborhood. You wouldn’t believe how many times members of my extended “family” have told me to give her “back” or “give her away.” But there is no way I will do that, I can’t. I love her.

Admittedly she is one of the toughest dogs, strongest dogs I’ve ever known and on the advice of three, yes, three, dog trainers, they have all agreed she is a “wild one with a stubborn streak.” Frustrating? Yes. Do I love her less? No. I rescued her from the shelter when she was tiny, curled up in a little red ball, sound asleep and my heart fell in love immediately. This was MY dog. I played with her, she let me cuddle her, nothing could stop me from adopting this sweetheart.

Sometimes love is blind, we know that. And, admittedly, maybe I missed my dog Callie so much (she had cancer) that i didn’t give myself enough time to recover from that grief. I probably should have waited longer to adopt my puppy but I didn’t. That’s my fault, not hers. I needed to hear the sounds of a dog in the house, I missed them so much and I need to have a dog in my life. I have become a dog person, through and through.

I should have known, when she was the worst, evil puppy in the world, that she was Trouble. She would go after our hands, feet, like I would go after a chocolate layer cake, sink her sharp puppy teeth in and not let go. Screaming in pain, little” Honeybadger didn’t give care.” Her grip would tighten. She was a really difficult puppy but still I didn’t love her any less.

She will be two in February, February 16th, 2014. I’ve had people tell me that she will NOT slow down, not this dog. She is muscular (all muscle) and strong (like an ox) and she still pulls me around that I’m scared to go out with her. It doesn’t help that I am very weak and have no balance. We have about nine different collars, leashes and equipment and Ms. Stubborn defies the odds. But that’s okay.

I love her and I won’t give her up, I could never do that. She is my dog and when I have to take her to the vet I will ask someone to come out and get her since she loves going there and pulls me dangerously across the street. I will make compromises, she will not. She is sleeping on my bed now looking like an absolute dog angel. She doesn’t show affection very often but this is her way. She keeps me company, gives me kisses. She’s going nowhere except in my arms for a big hug. She is not an easy dog, for sure, but I love her, I picked her and she makes me laugh. Sometimes.

PS: Remember the book and movie “Marley and Me?” Marley is a sweet kitten compared to Lexi, I kid you not.

photo credit paul kidd

words copyrighted lf

I’m A Puppy, You’re A Cat: The Conversation

Puppy Love (Photo credit: ransomtech)

Puppy Love (Photo credit: zane.hollingsworth)

I know, I know, I am just the cutest little puppy you have ever seen, right? Here I come, bounding into a room, all loose limbs and enthusiasm, drooling and licking your face, I love you, I love, I love you so much. I love you just because you are here in this room with me and you are my best friend, forever. That’s who I am, your puppy, for as long as I shall live, until the day I die and not for a second before that. You were made for me and I was made for you and I am going to sleep next to your bed or on your bed or in your bed and give you licks on your face and your feet and sometimes your belly because you are just the most delicious person on earth. Yes you are! Yes you are! You want to take me on a walk, did you say? I CANNOT believe how lucky I am to have you, for you to have picked me, little old me from the shelter, I am the LUCKIEST dog around, I knew it!!! Did I tell you how much I really love YOU?

Not me, snarled the cat, take it down a notch, would you canine? Ugh. Yo, owner this is where it’s at: I may like you, I may even become fond of you, in time. That is if you treat me the way I want to be treated( consistently) and when I am in the mood for it, when I want it not when YOU want it. I may (notice I said MAY) skirt around your legs, but no promises. I am in control here, do you understand, because I’m only saying this once. Read my lips, one time only. I’m in control, not you, never you. You want affection from me? Ha Ha Ha, Seriously? You must be thinking of that other species, you know the other kind, the D-O-G kind. I’ll walk around on your kitchen table and shed my fur into your food when I feel like it.What, you got a problem with that?! I didn’t think So. I had a really good time when I  hacked up a fur ball, right in your cereal bowl, you dumb fool. You thought you swallowed the wrong way? HA HA HA. I do get the affection part, it just has to be on MY terms, like when you rub my neck a certain way, when you hear me purr, keep doing whatever you are doing. That’s the best I can do. I got nothing else for you, I’m done, take me as I am or leave, could not care which you choose. Ever.

happy first birthday, lexi

nothing feels better and happier than my dog lying straight across my feet, her favorite position while i am in bed and its cold outside. i’ve been in my bright yellow with cherries pajamas for the whole day and i would be happy to be in them for another day or two if only i could.  it’s my dog, lexi’s first birthday, it’s truly a miracle how the time has gone by so quickly, ok, well it feels like it now. oh, don’t think I have forgotten the early days, no, no, no, believe me i haven’t. i remember the tearful puppy days when i cried out for help.  “she’s just a puppy”  my dear online friends would say soothingly and that was true but an active, stubborn and willful puppy with the strength of an ox. my family of friends would coo, “chew toys are good” but nothing was safe in our house from this fierce princess, our little warrior. furniture legs were eaten, chairs, tissues, my husband’s computer toys, sixty dollars, pants, shirts and sentimental items from the past. our arms and legs were riddled with red welts as lexi would grab on to our hands or legs, bite them with her sharp teeth and would not let go. there was always someone screaming from pain in our house.

Little Lexi

now, lexi, has a new habit she howls in the back. is it joy, is it for attention, does she spot an animal. we think it’s for sport. she looks like a young deer, red and long, she howls like a wolf. we just don’t know why she does this but i can practically see her grinning like a young teenager getting a real kick out of annoying her parents. i’ve seen that look before, many times.

i remember the first time i saw her it was love at first sight. she was curled up at the shelter, probably drugged, fast asleep having been shipped from north carolina or south. i thought she was mellow, she sure had me fooled. my best friend sarah drove and i had gone just to look, i had been at several shelters before but i knew i needed another dog in my life after my first dog, callie, died of pancreatic cancer. i was missing a part of myself, i think this made me a dog person officially. when i adopted lexi i told her that lexi has two mommys since sarah was there with me. i called my husband from the shelter to prepare him, he was not as enthused as me. he could easily have waited several years before we adopted another dog. i said “congratulations, it’s a girl” he answered with with a wry laugh. after 24 years of marriage he’s used to me by now.

i had a healthy, active puppy. the way a puppy should be. our last dog was very scared and timid and probably had been abused, all she wanted was to be comforted in my lap. i didn’t know what a real, healthy, energetic puppy was like. i learned quickly to substitute toys and the miracle of ice cubes but this girl was too fast for anyone. it has been quite the year with our girl. once in a while she still jumps on people with delight and we are working on that. this puppy is ridiculously strong, even second mommy and daddy agree so there have been times, like when we go to the vet, (she loves it there) she will drag me and all the people at the vet just shake their heads and laugh at me. we’re working on that too, suggestions are welcome. i believe she understands the command “come”” but it has to be followed with the word “cookie” that’s just so me. right? when there is someone outside our door lexi is our great protector, she barks and growls angrily and furiously, she becomes mean and proprietary.

at the end of the day, when the lights are off, having lexi in the house is comforting and sweet. not only did we find each other, we saved each other.

happy first birthday, lex. i love you bunches.

love, original mom

“Lucy, What Did You Do??!!”

Publicity photo of the I Love Lucy cast: William Frawley (Fred Mertz), Desi Arnaz (Ricky Ricardo), Vivian Vance (Ethel Mertz), Lucille Ball (Lucy Ricardo). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

FitBit (Photo credit: mrcd@sbcglobal.net)

I mean,  Lexi, what did YOU do? Lexi, my dog, may have two mommies who brought her home from the animal shelter but she does have a daddy who she lives with too and he got all Ricky Ricardo on her yesterday. For those of you who don’t know *I Love Lucy” maybe you can google this fabulous comedy set way back in the old days (the fifties)  when your parents were young. Lucy was always getting in trouble with her best friend Ethel and Desi, her husband would always catch her.

Desi/ Daddy was not too happy with Lexi yesterday, his face looked grim and he called Lexi “my daughter.” Usually we talk that way about our HUMAN children but this was different, quite different. Daddy came stomping up the stairs (never a good sign) his face, beet red, his vein bulging on his forehead, holding in his hand, what looked to be something small with threads. I had no idea what it was. It had been  thoroughly chewed so it was rather impossible to decipher.  Apparently, Lexi had jumped on the bed, reached over to the side table and quickly and deftly decided to have a snack. An expensive snack. She chewed right through Daddy’s: *”FitBit” that he wears around his wrist to keep track of calories, motion, and sleep. I know how much my husband loves this little techno gadget.

Apparently, I spoke too soon because, just the day, I had lunch with other mommy (best friend, Sarah) and I told her how proud I was that Lexi had matured. Oops, she decided to become impish once again. Oh, that Lexi has tricks straight up her paws. Of course, other mommy is practical and said to me: “Well at least she wasn’t biting through your skin” which she used to do, often. I think other mommy has a very good point but daddy was not too thrilled to hear THAT piece of reasoning. I did offer to put it the little gadget on his birthday list for May but he just grumbled waving the tattered material out for basically no one to see. At least she didn’t swallow it as she has with so many other things.

A puppy is a puppy until HOW OLD exactly? Because Lexi’s first birthday is coming up fast, it’s just right around the corner. I’ve always thought they were a puppy until one but given Lexi’s, umm, buoyant personality, I’m thinking, maybe it’s two? Does anybody know or is my dog just developmentally delayed? I’m not judging or criticizing here, just observing. You know how much I love naughty little Lex!

She’s really making our human children look like angels right about now. I’m sure they will LOVE to hear that. Lexi, do me a favor, stay out of Daddy’s technical little gadgets. Don’t eat them, play with them or touch them. I KNOW he left it out in the open but try to control yourself. One meal at a time, Lex, just take it one meal at a time. Oh, and please keep it to dog food, if you are good you know I will give you the occasional treat, okay?

*Property of the I Love Lucy show

*Property of FitBit corporation

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

gratitude (Photo credit: nathalie booth)

I’m still in my blue fleece pajama bottoms with cherries happily bursting on them and a 20-year-old mauve Cape Cod sweatshirt and I have no interest in getting dressed. This is my outfit today, I see no reason to change. It’s freezing outside, and if my tensed up bones need a break (no, not literally) I will give it to them. Cold weather is not good for people with chronic pain or Fibromyalgia. Trust me. I know. It’s too early to long for Spring.

The wind is howling outside, seeping in to our little house’s walls, windows. I am under a mountain of blankets with my dog. She could lie beside me or at the other end of the bed, but no, she picks the place over my feet to settle down. My dog, my mutt, was a wild puppy, I struggled bitterly with her biting and pulling and ransacking the house. How my friends encouraged me to “hang in there, she’s just a puppy.” At 8 months, she is still a puppy but a better one and most certainly a larger one. She no longer bites into my hand as if it was a cheeseburger. I’m not as steady on my feet as other people, because of balance issues, so I hope she behaves.

Our children have left for their respective colleges, the house is comfortingly quiet, and we are happy,  probably because I know the kids will be back in three weeks and because this happened to be a lovely Thanksgiving weekend. No fighting, NO DRAMA and a good time all around. My daughter didn’t even object when we told her she needed to see a doctor, she came home from her appointment with a package of antibiotics and a diagnosis of bronchitis. No, you cannot drink while you are on antibiotics. As my kids used to say “Nuff said.”

There are more leftovers to eat tonight, I’m not even sick of them yet. It’s hard to get sick of turkey, cranberry sauce, my Danny’s home-made, unbelievable stuffing and Polish rye bread “from the Homestead” in Kew Gardens, Queens where we both grew up. There is nothing like that bread, it brings back all sorts of childhood memories: standing in line, getting sandwiches made, deciding between the shrimp salad, or chicken salad, imported cheeses, home-baked desserts: cherry, apple and cheese strudel, chocolate layer cakes, and the traditional jelly doughnuts for New Year’s Eve.

Like last year, we won’t be exchanging gifts this Christmas. Everything is so expensive and times are hard. My husband has a job but I can’t work and I live in silent fear of him losing his job since the economy is so bad. If that happens, we will deal with it then. My present this year will be the memories of this past weekend, the family getting together at our house for Thanksgiving. The memories of the pretty amber lit candles that lined the middle of our long tables, my dog, lying on the green couch, the four cousins whispering together, the three grandparents still with us, childhood friends that I grew up with here, and the giant dessert spread we had, enough for 40 people not 14. We had a warm place to sit, food on the table, we were all grateful to be here, we escaped the worst from Sandy; we were very, very lucky. For this, and everything else, we gave and continue to give our thanks.

I Blame My Dog 100 Percent

Dog sunny Day Afternoon (Photo credit: allert)

It’s not my fault that I fell yesterday, really. It’s HER fault. My dog, (mega-puppy) pulled me so hard that she knocked me down on the driveway to greet our neighbors across the street. Granted, I am not strong. I have Fibromyalgia and NO balance so that is my “fault.” She left me lying down on the pavement. Twice. What happened to dogs being loyal? Not this one. I tried to get up and what does she do? She yanks the leash again and down I stay with another set of bruised knees (on top of the last set.)

I didn’t have time to drop the leash, this girl is fast and strong.  Not to mention that she made me drop my Fribble! To those of you who don’t know (and I am a recent convert) a Fribble is a milkshake that Friendly’s makes from soft serve (my friend Mark said it was from ice-milk so I’m not 100 percent sure if either or both are correct.) It’s cold, thick, creamy and utterly ( those of you who really know me, I was tempted to say udderly) delicious. Lexi made me drop my coveted vanilla Fribble all over the driveway and the rest of the day went downhill after that. Thank you Lexi.

So, with bumps and bruises all over, I limped into the house with super-puppy in the hands of our neighbor and my husband helping me up and inside. It’s time for the big guns to be called. I know I have a balance issue and yes, I know I am not strong but this is getting ridiculous. My husband is threatening to call the canine police trainer and have him come out and train Lexi to behave. He was here once before and always said she was a willful pup; I hate to break her spirit but she needs to learn to behave before I break my spine. Before he comes, I am trying to train her myself, with a very short leash and many clicking sounds.

I can always go back and get another Fribble but I can’t afford to be falling anymore. I love my dog, returning her is NOT an option. (You know who you are who suggested this) She is now sleeping on my bed, keeping me company but I do need to train her so she doesn’t pull so much. I have tried every leash in the universe. Lexi, you’re a cute puppy, but I have never met a stronger, more willful puppy anywhere. Even my friends agree that you are incredibly strong for one so young. I’m hoping you will mellow and I know you will be a great dog. You are now seven months and yes, still a puppy. When exactly do you become an adult dog and calm down? For my part, I will try to do some strength building exercise slowly, I promise. We’re in this together.

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Hope, Lost

fibromyalgia awareness (Photo credit: veganjoy)

I am feeling funky today. Not funky ha ha, funky bad, I get those days from time to time. Fibromyalgia and chronic pain are to blame. There are days when I have a really good attitude about my chronic pain disease, Fibromyalgia and I say things to myself like “it’s not life-threatening” to keep me sane and balanced and aware, even grateful. Then there are nights like tonight where my face crinkles in uneasy frowns and my smile has disappeared as if I have two very different personalities. This “me” is not happy, and this “me” is angry, pissed off and ready to rumble.

Tonight is a night when many of my Fibromyalgia on-line friends/sisters in solidarity, are on-line, I read their blogs, they read mine.  There seems to be a lull in energy for all of us, a low in satisfaction, an overall feeling of just wanting to give up and an off the wall chart on pain levels. We have had enough, all of us. Yes, we know we have the illness, yes we will never get rid of it, yes it hurts and clouds our minds so much that our children look at us as if we have dementia. It’s called Fibro Fog.

I’ve never been overly concerned with my age, 55, but I am disappointed and disgusted in my physical limitations. Between low blood pressure, Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis and Fibromyalgia, I don’t have a lot of energy. Other times, I have balance issues, always I have pain. At some point in the day or night, pain wakes me up in the cramping of my arms, in the battlefield of my legs. My husband passes by me and by accident his soft, cotton shirt touches one of my tender points and I scream out in pain. He didn’t do anything wrong but just the touch of the fabric was excruciatingly painful. It’s not fair and yes, I am whining tonight.

I’m tired and cranky and cranky some more. Oh, p.s. IT’S NOT IN OUR HEADS!

My jaw hurts from TMJ, my stomach hurts from IBS, my hair falls out and I can’t get a good night’s sleep which is imperative to my health. I can’t win, we can’t win. I feel  impatient and eventually I will settle down but now I just want to be angry at how my body has failed me. You know it’s true.

No, I don’t want platitudes, I just want to vent and say that I know it could be much worse but for now, it isn’t exactly like a walk in the park. I have a puppy, she needs to be walked, she needs to run but I can’t run with her. I take her on short walks when I can and sometimes I just throw her a toy, from my lying down position on the couch. It isn’t much but it is something. Still, I feel like a bad puppy mommy.

I had to have a brain/spine MRI because my imbalance was so severe that I fell flat on my face and knees outside with nothing to trip me. I’m seeing my Rheumatologist but I KNOW he doesn’t have the answer. He believes me, he cares, he tries but I know he can only do so much. Part of me wants to throw away the medicine I am taking (Savella) and see how bad it is without it. On the other hand, I’m scared to do that, I’m a little better than I was originally. Just not good enough.

Swimming In The Swamp

English: Pink Puppy Designs, http://www.PinkPuppyDesigns.com/ Category:Dog equipment (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Staying in my house, bored, is utterly detrimental to my health. I know this for sure. I need to get out, to have adventures and while I used to have more people to have adventures with, I now have adventures with myself or…..with my dog, Lexi. Maybe this is the bonding she and I need, maybe our adventures together are her way of showing affection. I really don’t know.

Today was a lovely, breezy summer day; the sun was shining, the sky a brilliant blue and clouds formed to make unusual, thick shapes. I took our 4 and a half month “mutt-a-gree” puppy (so much nicer than saying mutt, don’t you think?) and opened the back door of my car for her. “Come on, Lex, we’re going for a ride.” We ended up in a park that has trails and a walking path, a pond, a playground for children and an ice cream truck. What could be better?

We met a few other dogs, white curly-haired dogs, large, german shepherds, a couple of big dogs in various shades of gold, red, brown, beige and white. Some were big and fluffy with full coats, others were small and yappy; some were off leash, others were on. Not every dog was happy to see a puppy, an (over) enthusiastic four and a half month puppy but a few dogs put up with it. Lexi is like a politician and very much like our son when he was three years old. Our son would say “Hi” to everyone who walked by and would wave his chubby hand, if people didn’t stop to chat, admire, wave or smile, he was personally insulted and it showed on his face. Lexi is the same way, she takes all rejections personally and gets upset when a dog doesn’t want to play with her.

Determined to take her for a walk, I pulled her away from the other disinterested dogs and off we went. About five minutes into the walk we came upon the smelly, dirty, big pond (I’m being nice, it was a huge, disgusting swamp). I love water and had always hoped my first dog would love water but she was terrified of it. Lexi was not. She went to the edge and was fascinated by the muddy water. She played in the water with her paws and we both were thrilled. Yes, I was encouraging her, I admit it. She went out a little further but I still had the leash clutched in my hand. (Another mea culpa I had not brought the long leash with me since this was an impromptu adventure.)

The next part I see in slow motion. Me, wearing new white pants and a navy and white striped tee-shirt and my favorite and expensive sneakers (that are the only kind that fit my old lady messed up feet) were at one point standing at the edge grinning at MY dog, proud, cell phone in my pants pocket. Half a second later, my super-strong puppy pulled me in with such great strength that I fell into the stinky, grimy water. My first thought was “my husband will kill me if my phone is broken” my second thought “who saw me because this is so embarrassing?” and finally after the nice gentlemen in back of me asked if I was alright, I said some silly thing like “well at least she likes the water” with an embarrassed, goofy grin. The entire left side of my body was drenched in black slime, my right side apparently hadn’t made it in the water.

We stank. Both of us, like dirty, muddy, black-stained sea urchins. Lexi was wet and wild. I laughed the entire ride home calling our friend Christina to ask her to take a picture on Instagram for Facebook. If I can figure it out, I will try to repost the photo here, if not look there! it’s worth it. My son and husband’s first question was:” Why didn’t you let go of the leash?” “Because I’m a mother, that’s why!” I didn’t know if she could swim, and I didn’t trust her if she could swim not to swim to another state. It seemed instinctual to stay by her side, and so I did.

No anxiety today! I had an adventure, with my puppy who is way too strong and needs discipline. Puppy classes start Sunday and I can’t wait. Now, I need new sneakers (I’ve already tried washing the ones I had on) the cell phone is nestling in rice and the dog had so much excitement she is sleeping, down for a nap. I still smell like the swamp lady but I had fun, a lot of fun. We should do this more often, though next time I will bring a much longer leash and a few, old towels. All in all, I have to admit, I haven’t had this much fun in a long time; it was a perfect day.