Juan Pablo, Go Away (Pop Cop)

The Pitons from offshore, St. Lucia

The Pitons from offshore, St. Lucia (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Bachelor (US TV series)

The Bachelor (US TV series) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I admit, I stooped to a new low when I decided to watch pity-party television the last two or three weeks. Mea Culpa. I watched part of “The Bachelor” for the first time in my life. I’m still putting my foot down on Dancing With The Stars but I have no doubt if things get worse, I’ll be watching that too.

I really don’t know what the big deal is about the “charming” Juan Pablo. To me, he’s a handsome (I’ll give him that,) rude, jerk. He, in no way, knows how to treat women and from my point of view the only thing I envy about him is where he lives. Oh, come on, don’t you dream of living in St. Lucia?

Those cleverly placed ads to fly to St. Lucia, worked for me. Like I’m sure they did for thousands of men and women who said to their partners “Honey, I wanna go to St. Lucia….” For us it is NOT an option, financially, but if I should win the lottery? I would be there with my family and keep my gorgeous 19-year-old daughter far away from him. Seriously, far, far away from him with her older brother as a well-paid security guard.

I think JP is a chauvinist, but I also think the concept of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette is kind of creepy. I’m sure you are too young to remember this but I much preferred the old-fashioned “Dating Game” (Google it.) I agree it was totally moronic but at least I didn’t have to watch everybody’s tongue pushed down everybody else’s throat. (Imagine the germs!)  I am shocked that Purell is not a sponsor or at least Listerine, you missed your chance. If you sponsor now, my readers will know it was MY IDEA. Royalties should be sent to:
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Furthermore, what messages are we showing our children? It’s on at 8pm and I do know parents who watch this show with their kids. Believe me, I am saying the same thing about The Bachelorette  (Andi) who is the only contestant I truly admire. She is razor-sharp, has a law degree and will not take insincerity from anyone. She called Juan Pablo out on his lack of emotion, being rude and his total sense of self. (Read: ego.)  She tried to challenge him and you know what happened? Nothing. The man had zero affect, he was the same all the time, every time.

The most he could conjure up was “Ees okay.” Listen Ricky Ricardo” “Ees obviously NOT okay. Grow up. Take a few courses in Women’s Studies, actually MAJOR in it.

Begrudgingly I do have to admit that Juan Pablo’s culture is different from all the women and I think that may be a reason? Believe me, I am in no way, defending him but perhaps this is a way to understand him? I know, I’m pushing it…

Andi, you definitely were my fan favorite: incredibly smart, you knew yourself and obviously Juan Pablo, sure you got swayed but hey, who doesn’t like a little romance? No fault of yours at all. I swore I wouldn’t watch this show ever again but with you as a Bachelorette? I’ll have to think twice.

As for Juan Pablo, get over yourself. You’re cute, big deal. “EES NOT ENOUGH FOR US.”

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Jacquelyn: Were You At “The Taste 2” Finale?

English: Jean Claude Szurdak and Jacques Pepin...

English: Jean Claude Szurdak and Jacques Pepin (right) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Guest judge: Chef Jacques Pepin. In the finals, Marina, Lee and Louise.

The season of “The Taste” is over. As I’ve stated in earlier posts my highpoint of the show was when Jacquelyn exited mid-show, literally walking off stage. She is my Norma Rae. Nigella seriously needs to learn to play with others.

The first test was to make something for the poor and for the rich. It was so uninteresting it really didn’t matter what they made. Basically for the “rich” they added a lot more butter, truffles and caviar. For the “poor,” they all made a stew or soup.

Many past contestants in the audience: I see Cassie and Sarah, Shellie and Don, Audrey and Jay, among others; I am not making this up or exaggerating, I swear, I didn’t know who Audrey was because she didn’t mention “her fans” and she wasn’t complaining.The one person I wanted to see but DIDN’T was Jacquelyn. What, no invite? You people have NO sense of humor.

Final challenge: “Basic cooking: Make me breakfast, lunch and dinner bites that showcase your most dazzling skills.”

They tried. They did TRY.  I didn’t really think anyone made anything over the top that the judges actually swooned over. We’ve all seen good before, the last few episodes missed “stunning and amazing.”The finale did not break the “just ok” pattern. Shame.

Lee: Breakfast: Parmesan flan with bacon quail egg. He forgot that he left his parmesan flan in the oven but remembered at the last second. He saved his behind and put them in the cooler (not his behind, the flan) with bacon, eggs. Pure luck. Lunch: crab cake (he wastes a lot of time trying to get the crabs out of the shell) with avocado. Dinner: strip steak, cauliflower purée..” He was absolutely frazzled,or should I say fried?   Lee plates too soon doesn’t listen to Chef Jacques Pepin who advises him to plate later. Lee is acting cocky, doesn’t listen to the guest Chef.  Poor judgment. Dinner: Strip steak, parmesan tulle, mustard demi glace. Even with his fan favorite girlfriend Cassie giggling (did anyone else notice that rapid fire laugh) nothing could stop him or slow him down.

Marina:  (Chef Pepin looked a little befuddled around her) Marina starts with an (English muffin,?) quail egg, onion, fig and bacon. (“well executed”) :Lunch: Fried spring roll, oyster and pork, deemed (“not that successful.”) Dinner: short ribs, rice, kale, port wine.  She forgets to taste her own food, a definite no-no. Marina won’t take advice from anyone,she listens to no one, she prides herself on that. Marina used chicken testicles and pork blood. She certainly is imaginative. Have you cooked with chicken testicles and pork blood? Me either.

Louise: Breakfast: Fried quail egg with tomato sauce, (similar to Chef Pepin’s model that he displayed.) Lunch: fried oyster po’ boy sandwich, Dinner: steak with red wine sauce (which Chef Pepin salvaged)  potatoes, makes food look beautiful (she is also a food stylist.) She touches the steak and isn’t sure it is ready, Chef Pepin touches it and says 5 more minutes, in it goes. She is more needy and ready to listen to Jacques Pepin and believe me it shows. Her sauce breaks, she can’t use it. Chef Pepin helps her find a teaspoon of meat drippings again. Lousie feels like the underdog (again) and complains about something, was it brioche again? Much to everyone’s surprise, including Louise, she won “The Taste.”  As if she was in “Survivior” Louise flew under the radar, bothered no one, smiled a lot and portrayed herself as the victim.

3rd place LEE, 2nd place Marina, First place Louise

Congratulations? I mean, Congratulations.

The show is over. I’m done. We are all grateful. Would I watch it again? Probably.

*any error of description of food was unintentional and due to extreme fibromyalgia tiredness. I still am annoyed at the amount of alcohol on TV, just sayin’ sponsors?

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