Happy Yellow Friday, Roses

YellowRoses

Beautiful, Happy, Yellow Roses. At one time they brought me utter delight, at another they brought me despair and heartbreak. A different day, a different situation. Total miscommunication.

I choose just to look at the happiness of the stunning flowers. I accept, though it is hard, that some things just can’t be worked out or understood. No matter how much you want to be heard, some people will not hear you. That’s Life. You tried, move on. It’s complicated.

 

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Haiku Horizons, Try

Dark, stormy, alone

Frozen hopes, cling to memory

Trying hard, hold on.

 

 

English:

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Black, electric probes

Try to shock, me out of me

Crying bloody tears.

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Try to imagine,

life with chronic pain, grief, tears

A fantasy, sun.

 

 

 

Haiku Horizons, Ruby

Rubies sparkle, stir

magic sniffs the air with lust

black velvet, bright red

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“Ruby Tuesday” blares

 

kicking back, weed, cheap vodka

 

He sighs, I miss that.

 

 

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My ruby-red, lips,

strawberry colored sad tears

As he slips away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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#FWF Kellie Elmore

Petrichor: The smell after it rains.

 

After it rains

 

Lavender

 

the scent of sweet lavender lingers in the air

 

droplets of water, morning dew, glisten on tall, oblong leaves.

 

Wild flowers, purple, pink, yellow, blue sway together like fans in a concert

 

dancing in the wind

 

stretching to feel the warmth of the velvet sun.

 

Fresh, green mint plants,

 

tickle our noses,

 

we inhale the menthol, clear our senses, to feel alive.

sunset

sunset (Photo credit: lil miss priss)

Mix mint with lime and muddled basil and sweet cane sugar, seltzer

 

to celebrate the glorious day with mojitos.

 

We sit on the freshly painted, white outside deck, of our house

 

waiting for the sun to set

 

With our best friends, our beloved dogs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Haiku Heights, Sharp

Spirit stabbed, sharp, heartGoldFish

Beating weakly, tears flowing

Get back to the Path.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Fish says “Follow Me!”

Separate from negative

Choice: quick decision.

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Photo LAF Photography

Related post: Energy

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Haiku Heights- Gifts 2

English: "Who Gives All Gifts", by T...

English: “Who Gives All Gifts”, by Tim Holmes. 2008, bronze, 90 x 48 x 32 inches. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Roaring rush,  Tears stream
Gifts of Pain, Unraveled Past
Holiday Season
Breath, my gift to you
to love a child, to praise them
To not leave this earth

Haiku Heights, Thanks

Haiku Heights #310 – Thanks!

Haiku Heights says Good-Bye!
I admit it, I’m not mature and I don’t
like change. First, my favorite, “Carry on Tuesday”
leaves, now this, I need 24 hours to get used
to change. Sigh. Oh well, thank you for 3 wonderful
years and best of luck to you.
Screw you haiku, thanks
 Everything changes; love lost
My lips pout like tears

Haiku Heights-Pain

A Pain That I'm Used To

A Pain That I’m Used To (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A knife through my hand

crimson blood pouring out fast

A heart, numb, frozen.

*****

No contact, no love

Babies without touch, react

Doubt, afraid, for life.

*****

Your breath near mine, close

the beat of our hearts, different

Tears tell our story.

*****

Brittle bones, swollen

raw, excruciating pain

A Fibro Flare Up.

Sadness 90/365

Sadness 90/365 (Photo credit: SashaW)

*****

Alone, we will be

No guarantee in life, death

Be at peace with One.

Plinky Prompt: When Was The Last Time You Said A Tough Goodbye?

  • sadness

    sadness (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

    A Tough Goodbye

  • Saying Goodbye Is Always Hard For ME
    Every goodbye for me is difficult. I have never like saying goodbye to anyone. The last hard goodbye I said was to my friend Sarah who goes to Rhode Island for the summer. I know she will be back in late summer and maybe I will see her during the summer once or twice but I hate saying goodbye and I’m not a big fan of change.
    I get teary eyed and my emotions just surge to the surface and I feel upset. My pale, cream-cheese complexion gets flushed and I need to stop myself from wailing. It doesn’t last more than a few minutes but it’s always there. When my husband travels and shuts the door behind him, when my kids leave for college and before that, dropping them off at camp….all painful and difficult.
    I think it started when I was a teen and my parents traveled a lot on vacation and left me home, alone. We lived in an apartment building and even though my neighbors lived nearby, it was very hard for me when my parents left; I felt abandoned. I remember each time they left I would cry and look at them entering the bright yellow taxi that waited for them on the street.
    I don’t hide that I am not fond of goodbyes, I know better now. I tell people the truth. I hate saying goodbye; it’s just part of who I am.
  • Previous Answer

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Saltwater Tears

dog fetch

dog fetch (Photo credit: mallix)

I decided that if I cried while swimming in the ocean, it wouldn’t count. I knew there was no logic behind this but it felt like tears would just blend in with salt water. So, while swimming in- between the high green Florida waves, I would cry, sob sometimes, because my dog had died a little more than a week ago.

Many years ago I used to be the kind of person that saw a sympathy card for a dog and I would roll my eyes and think to myself ‘it’s just a dog’ for goodness sake. That was before I ever had a dog. Once I had a dog, who became so ingrained in our family’s lives, things changed. I am grieving the loss of our dog; more emotionally, of course, than the rest of the family.

When I think back on the night before she died I could kick myself. I wasn’t open to receiving her messages like I usually was because I was too upset. But, she told me in the blinks of her eyes that she would be leaving, she was saying good-bye only I wasn’t ready to listen. I know now. Thank you, sweet girl.

Before we took her for surgery I gave her the talk I had given her many times before. I cradled her soft face with my hands and whispered to her my same speech: “You know I love you Callie, I love you so much, we all do but I promise, not to let you suffer. I know you don’t want to suffer pain and I don’t want that for you. I love you too much.” Once I kissed her and nuzzled her she happily went off with the technician at the veterinarian, I didn’t know I would never see her again. I felt optimistic, not a feeling that comes naturally to me.

When the veterinarian called, from surgery, my heart stopped. He had opened my dog up and told me that the mass he had found did indeed turn out to be cancerous. Not only was it cancerous but it had spread to 75 percent of her body. He said “thought what we had said about not wanting her to suffer and this is what he would do personally if she was his dog, he would not wake her up.” I agreed, rationally, as did my husband. In no way, did we want our dog to suffer; I had made a promise to my dog and I was determined to keep it.

After that, reality set in. The healthy looking dog I had cuddled with this morning was dead? How could that be? She had no symptoms at all except for two very quiet little yelps, that I hadn’t even heard, two days before and then she returned to her old,  self. She ate, she played, she climbed up the stairs and jumped on the bed in her usual position right next to me. By moving her neck around she showed me where she wanted to be scratched and I obliged. The only sign that something was different was that for a brief period of an hour or two she wouldn’t look at me and she hid under my husband’s desk and her eyes would not meet mine; she looked away.

I had kept my promise to my dog, I had not let her suffer any pain. I told her how much I loved her and what a great dog she was. I told her how the whole family loved her. All the right things were done. I understand that it was a shock, I understand she is dead. I cannot understand WHY my mind keeps forgetting that when we come home from the airport tomorrow she will not be there, on the other side of the door,  barking and whimpering, eager to welcome us home with her gentle, wet kisses.

I don’t know how to handle that, I think it is just one more thing to get through and yes, I will probably cry.