Kim K’s Greasy Butt And The Kardiashians

Sorry, Not a big fan of the Kardashians.

Never have been and never will be, besides, what are people fans of exactly? I am being serious. How have the Kardashians branded themselves in such a way that they are everywhere making shit tons of money by doing nothing but smiling or not smiling, wearing clothes or not wearing clothes?

I don’t get it, seriously, I really don’t. Someone, maybe the Mom Kardashian (Oh, she would love this, GRANDMA Kardashian) is a marketing genius because that’s about all the genius I see in that family. Talent? Nope. Brains? I have NO idea. Class? I’m laughing. What is it that people really like about them?

Is it just a reality tv show gone wild? I can’t say I have ever watched an episode, actually maybe once or twice, but so what? All I know, in my humble opinion, is that Mom Kardashian-Jenner (now ex-Jenner?) should be going to therapy

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to accept that she is not 22 anymore and stop dressing as if she is. Ouch, I know, Granny. But, eventually you will have to accept your age even though I”m sure you will have as many plastic surgeries as you can. How many you have had already is anyone’s guess. It is only with the kindness of my heart that I have not posted the “before” pictures (check it out.)

I think I did like Bruce Jenner when he was an Olympic swimmer but now? He’s a joke and why he is letting himself become

Bruce Jenner (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

the butt of a joke (no pun intended) is beyond me. If my husband started wearing bright red nail polish and completely changing his style, we would have a very long talk in a therapist’s office, ASAP.

So, if I get the gossip straight, and believe me this could be all wrong, Mom Kardashian is now dating a younger dude who happens to be black, Khloe , sorry, KOURTNEY is thankfully married to Scott Disick (I hope that’s the right sister) and pregnant with her second child) one of them ( KHLOE) is allegedly NOT the child of a Kardashian (which would not be the end of the world and why she doesn’t take a DNA test is saying A LOT.) Remember those questions on the PSAT’s : which of these items does not look like the

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other? I think that if you put all the Kardashian sisters together, Kourtney would be the answer but there is nothing WRONG with that, in fact, some would say it’s a benefit unless perhaps her biological father is OJ, but what do I know?  I think there are two mini Kardashians, one of whom, Kendall (?) dropped her last name and is a model. Not sure about the other one. Oh, wait, I think her name is Kylie (maybe.))

If I have gotten the name of the sisters wrong, please don’t correct me because frankly, I really don’t give a rat’s ass. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist.) In my opinion only, the only likeable person in the family to me is baby North West.  I truly hope her parents will protect her from the “cray cray” Kardashian family, just saying. Because I believe in one thing: Kanye and Kim absolutely ADORE their baby girl. While I may not agree with designing a huge diamond for my own three-year old, hey, it’s their baby and their money.

We know you love her and would not want to harm her in any way. Protect her, Kanye and Kim, be your own family, set some boundaries, please. Yeah, right.

I Would Be OverJoyed If ….

1. I NEVER had to hear about Anthony Weiner or his “wiener/weiner” again.

, member of the United States House of Representatives. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

2.  I never saw any of the Kardashians/siblings/spouses/children ever. I’m sorry, I must have missed something. Why exactly is this family famous? They did WHAT? Related to #1? That just can’t be right. And the first husband is not the father of whom? And the mother has a talk show, why? However, I do want the nice sister to get pregnant if indeed she wants to get pregnant. Whatever.

3. a) ( I was going to write about Honey BooBoo but she is a child, so I’m not as tempting as it might be.)

b)   The government would pass an anti-papparazi bill so that celebrities/government officials would not have to WORRY about people chasing their children and hiding in bushes for a good shot. Car chasing is WRONG. Come on, this is easy, just do it. All those who have stood up to the paparazzi for their children Right you are!! Yes, you are famous but your child is not (unless you make him or her famous) cough, like some actors and actresses have done. Your bad.

4. The makers of Nutella would have never come to America because my family and I addicts  big time. KIDDING. (We ❤ you Nutella) We are so glad you came to America from Europe in 1983, We are thoroughly addicted, thank you and all we need is a spoon or our greedy fingers.

5.People/Relatives/Fans would let Paris Jackson have some more time to grieve and keep her away from the public eye and too much emotional upheaval. Give this young woman some supervised space with someone she can thoroughly trust. Oprah, Gayle.Rosie?  Any of you in?

6. Lindsay Lohan doesn’t end up dead because from all the signs it sure looks like she is heading that way. It is NOT a joke.

7. One teenager, one kid, would take Glee’s Cory Monteith (or anyone else’s overdose) SERIOUSLY and decide NOT to do drugs. I FRIGGIN MEAN IT.

8. Families could eat dinner together, every night not just once a week and  I know that is really hard. Please TRY to have some quality time, all together, it’s important. Let the kids have a snack, maybe Mom or Dad could come home early twice a week? Negotiate.

9. If the FDA would NOT approve something until it has been thoroughly tested. Tested. Except drugs for any terminal illness. be flexible there.

10.a) I saw a commercial that said “this commercial has been approved by the Hillary Clinton Presidential Campaign of 20116.”

10.b) I had the technology skills to make a large red X across #1’s smug, arrogant face.

Thanks for reading.

Photo property of the photographer, not mine. Trust me.

Carry On Tuesday: There is a child in every one of us….

Driving Rain (Photo credit: pixieclipx)

There is a child in every one of us but I seem to have lost her.What happened to that childish, charming, witty fun-loving woman who wrote a blog that was delicious, and delightful? I’ve become boring: as plain, as unsalted crackers and I don’t care for that one bit. I can imagine you don’t like it either; I can’t say I blame you at all. Where are all my funny, sometimes sarcastic observations of the world? Am I not watching enough television? I know I have not been on the city streets enough to bring eavesdropping to a science lately. It’s the weather, really. My bones hurt. Have I become dull, dim-witted and a (GASP) a real adult?

EEW, I hope not. That doesn’t sound like me at all. I do still get pleasure in little things, throwing a few coins on the floor for children to find, eating green fruit slices but never the cherry ones, (they taste like cough medicine) mashing bananas with plain yogurt and wrapping myself in warm blankets with a stuffed animal near-by.  Something feels different. I don’t think it has anything to do with age, but I feel a lot more grown up now, at 56 than I did two weeks ago when I was still 55. What the heck has happened? Here I am sitting on the bed, waiting for the Super-Duper-Storm-of the Century of 2012 to wipe us all out and all I am doing is sipping a cup of apple-cinnamon tea from my favorite, bright yellow mug. No hysterics, no drama (well, okay a little apprehension, I’m not dead, yet) but there’s really not much I can do. Just have to wait and see what happens and be a good friend and neighbor. Oh dear, just listen to me, now I sound like a life insurance commercial; who stole, cute, child-like me and replaced me with an insurance selling white-haired grandpa with a handsome face and beguiling smile?

Where’ s the fun me, talking about candy, Twix Bars and Kit Kats, and dissing celebrities (Do the Kardashians even COUNT as celebrities? Not in MY book) or being quick-witted and sharp? I blame the cold, dreary weather getting me in this mood. How can I be happy and have fun when I am not at the ocean jumping over waves and picking up seashells with my pink toes in the sand. I’m dowdy now.Perhaps I am forgetting that my mood reacts with the weather every year.

The last two weeks have been hard for our family with my mother in law passing out randomly every day at any time. Perhaps going up there yesterday made us all feel more peaceful, I think it helped. She hasn’t had any fainting episodes in a few days and they needed our support. It’s a big change when your parents need you in the same way we once needed them. It was a lovely visit, even the dog, yes, Lexi, has calmed down (a little.) She’s a lovely dog now but I have to say she was the naughtiest pup ever!

Tonight calls for marshmallows strung together between my thumbs and forefingers for a gooey mess. No, I haven’t lost me, I just got busy, my kids are in college and my husband is a real grown-up, not the one I play. I just have to make more of an effort to be child-like for myself. Tonight, a bubble bath with yellow ducky, playing loud music, maybe a candle or two. I do miss fun. I need to make my own. It’s a little hard to feel upbeat, child-like and happy when every weather forecaster in the nation is practically calling for the downfall of the East Coast cities as we used to know them. Imagine, calling this “The Perfect Storm.” Isn’t that an oxymoron?

So What IF George Clooney Is Gay And Other “Celebrities?” (Pop Cop)

 

 

English: George Clooney, Cannes film festival (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

REPOST

I think that George Clooney could be gay just like Rock Hudson was gay and no one believed it back then either.  Look, I’m just printing what I’m hearing, so don’t be hating. You know why? Because it really doesn’t matter; it’s not a big deal anymore (although all the cover-up, why?) As Jerry Seinfeld quoted in his show Seinfeld (see Jerry, I know who you are, not like that Larry King dude) about the possibility of being gay: “Not that there is anything wrong with that.” A line that baby boomers are still quoting, ad nauseum. (Let’s face it, it took us years to get over saying yada, yada, yada – we are a generation of people who have trouble letting go of the past. I know.

Let’s talk a little about the Kardashians, shall we? ( I hope I sound like Church Chat Lady on OLD SNL episodes with Dana Carvey.) Who are they and why are they famous? More importantly why do all these people seem to care whether they are married or divorced, pregnant, preening or getting more and more plastic surgery? Are you telling me that the “dad” is the same Bruce Jenner that was in the Olympics as a swimmer? Who did he run into and why did he let someone to destroy his once well-known face? Ick. I truly don’t care about this family, have never watched them on television although I have seen pictures of Mom Kardashian and she scares me more than just a little. What TALENT do these people have? Ah, None. I thought so. Why are they featured in magazines when they have no talent except being adept at making themselves celebrities with a ton of cash. I don’t get it.

The last person I have no clue about and I had to google is a woman by the name of Bethenny Frankel. All I know about her is that she is in magazines and sells some lite alcoholic drinks and she had a baby. So? Why again, is she famous? (okay, famous is really the wrong word, why is she a pseudo- celebrity?) Apparently, she was on some housewives show of Atlanta if I read that correctly. Thus, a star is born? Shouldn’t she be living with the Kardashians? These people can’t act, the can barely speak eloquently, why do people admire them? THEY. HAVE. NO. TALENT.

Talent is: Ellen Degeneres, she is my hero. I admit, it once was Oprah but I’m sorry I had to switch to Ellen Degeneres. Ellen knows who she is, she celebrates her life and her marriage with her wife Portia. She helps us celebrate our own lives, she’s quick, funny, kind (very kind) and smart. There is no malice in her (except for her scaring all the celebrities which would make me pee in my pants badly.) We can look up to Ellen, she should be the one that we admire, she has incredible comedic talent and timing.

My point here is it doesn’t matter if someone is gay or not, what matters is talent and kindness and doing good things for the world. So, really who cares if George Clooney or Josh Groban, Tom Cruise and John Travolta are all gay?? Celebrate them for the great artists that they are. They have talent, that’s more than the Kardashians will ever have. Admit it.