Kindness: The New Normal

The Great Kindness Challenge Logo

The Great Kindness Challenge Logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Equating kindness with money is a complete misconception.You don’t need to make a grand gesture to be kind to someone. You don’t have to pay their entire bill at a restaurant when you don’t have enough money. It doesn’t mean writing a large check to a charity, you can send only what you can afford. It can cost nothing but a conscious thought.   These days I try to be CONSCIOUS of my actions and interactions during the day. I try to think before I speak, I try to think before I think and no, that’s not a typo.

My intentions are good, they come from a good place inside me. However,  their impact may not always shine through. That’s a problem that I need to work on. I may be perfectly happy and walk down the street with a frown, thinking about money problems or something unsettling. The fact that I’m frowning gives off bad vibes to other people, so I am trying to change that before I start. I really have practiced grinning when I find my muscles tighten, it actually works and it does pull me out of whatever (foul) mood I am in. It’s contagious too. I try to say hello to everyone, not everyone answers back but that’s fine, some reply, some smile, some ignore, most people react in a wonderful way. It’s a small thing but it is a kind thing to do. There’s too little of that in this world.

The holidays are rough for me and for many others. Many people don’t know that or understand that, most people don’t talk about it. I’ve never been shy to talk about my emotions. I get in trouble for that sometimes but I’m too old to care. The only gift of getting older is  wisdom. If your heart is in the right place, if you are being kind and gracious that’s all that truly matters. You are not frozen in terror like you used to be when you were younger when you kept asking and re-asking yourself if you did the right thing. You do the very best you can with pure intentions and an open heart.

Examples of things to do with NO money involved:

Hold the door open for someone.

Let them get ahead of you in line at the grocery store.

Pay for your cup of coffee and tell the server you want to pay for the next person too.

Smile and say hello to the next 5 people you meet.

If you know a family is struggling, why not ask how you can help them? Or, just help them.

Free babysitting.

The list can go on and on, it’s just that in our busy lives we sometimes forget to think about others and that’s normal. So, today, why don’t you put two or three minutes aside and see how you can make the world a nicer place, a kinder place. It costs you nothing and you get back in return, everything. Let’s make kindness the new normal. Thanks!

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Plinky Prompt: Tell us about a time…

Thought bubble...

Thought bubble… (Photo credit: Al-fresco)

  • Tell us about a time you couldn’t quite get your words or images to express what you wanted to express. What do you think the barrier was? For bonus points, try again. See all answers
  • Express Yourself Or Don’t
  • I am usually a very emotional person and my instincts are generally spot on.I would say that would be true nine times out of ten. However, when I am overwhelmed AND feel conflicting emotions at the same time I don’t know how to express my feelings and I don’t even know what my feelings are. I feel totally disconnected. I pull away from the situation so I am no longer hurt or angry, sad or upset. I hide in a bubble of safety, thick enough to shield me from any painful feelings while the world goes on around me.I become detached, I float in the sky, safe in my bubble.

    I need a certain amount of time to process new information, it has to settle naturally and I don’t try to analyze it or question myself vigorously (though I used to when I was much younger.) I know that, with time and patience, it will resolve itself and when I am ready to hear it, the answer will be there for me to learn from it.
    It’s a pleasant feeling, it’s one that feels like floating above and around people, but it’s better than emotionally killing myself, torturing myself with angst and wreaking havoc with my life. It’s a temporary phase that lasts until all the emotions inside me have settled down and I can look at them with some logic and not the emotional upheaval that would roar and fight inside me like angry tigers.
    These feelings come up when I have heard something that is extremely hurtful or when I feel emotionally devastated. Then, the barrier comes up to protect me. When I am emotionally devastated, I go into this bubble of safety, not to run away, but to escape for those hours I need to understand without any outside distraction.
    It’s my way of trying to process new, hurtful information and absorbing the shock without completely falling apart. In time, I will learn from it when I am ready to take it all in.

  • All photo credits and rights to Al-Fresco

Feeling Like Crap And Other Such Novel Events

Frozen Yogurt with Banana and Blueberries

Frozen Yogurt with Banana and Blueberries (Photo credit: planetc1)

An ordinary day, three loads of laundry,

Clearing my throat incessantly,

constant coughing,

a headache that won’t go away, top and forehead

swollen glands.

My dog, barking, throwing up water, three times.

Me, internal and external fatigue, Fibromyalgia or taking care of my sick child, combination probably.

Hard to move one muscle, I will it to move, it does not listen.

I call the far side of my bed “the office” too exhausted to get up, shuffle.

Imagining what it must be like to have so much money that money doesn’t even matter,

Can’t.

Worrying about our Mom getting older, all of us getting older.

Not driving as much. Reality. Stay in the moment.

Don’t meet worry half-way.

Sit. Listen. Quiet.

Old friends become past friends for me. Finally.

Goodbye you-know-who, I’ve cut the chain, I can sail away.

I value myself more, now.

We had great times but that was thirty years ago.

Friendships need to move forward, together.

What is there to miss when you had nothing for so long?

Happy 25th ANNIVERSARY to my husband and to me in October.

a lovely accomplishment, not always easy.

Life is work, kids, work is life.

Plain, unsweetened frozen yogurt with fruit.

slides down my aching throat with chilling ease.

A beautiful summer day.

An ordinary day...

An ordinary day… (Photo credit: ` TheDreamSky)

Playing ball with my dog, Lexi, at the park.

We are both exhausted now, lying together on the bed.

Her long, red body, snoring, my pale body tossing and turning.

Everything feels as right as it can, for this moment, this day.

There are no promises and certainly no guarantees.

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On Silence

Happy
LISTEN
Holding Hands

Since I am comfortable with myself, silence does not make me uncomfortable at all. Years ago, when I was young, I am sure that I felt awkward at times with silence. Silence and strangers.

Now, it is a strength to be comfortable, alone or with another person in silence. It’s an act of faith, one that takes years to build; I am extremely comfortable with my husband or best friend beside me, together, alone.

Trust yourself and the other person both in silence and in speech. Know that the person beside you, the one that you have loved for many years is your soul-mate, your very best friend. It shouldn’t and doesn’t come quickly, it takes some time to understand each other, and even then, there is always the tiny unknown.

Start with a glimmer and a smile, many years later, you know each others thoughts, words, smiles and nuances. I can hear my own thoughts in silence, I can use words as photographs in my mind. More importantly, I listen to how I feel.

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