Touchdown, Aruba

December 24, 2009

It was a long flight from Newark to Aruba yesterday, especially since our day started at 4am and did not end until after 9pm last night.  It was our long awaited reward from two years of hell, especially for me. First, two contiguous years of medical maladies including but not limited:a misdiagnosed illness,  an auto- immune disease,  fibromyalgia, flu-like symptoms every day (without the temperature), a very badly sprained ankle,( started in February 2009)  plantar fasciatis, and a torn ligament, excruciating back spasms…. ending, or at least lessening yesterday. After both a medical upheaval, a marriage upheaval (the whole summer of 2009) and surviving an extensive guilt from my mother about this trip, we are here; and it is good. It is good to be selfish sometimes when you know what you have been through and know what will keep you going. It is very, very good.

Don’t think, however, that the incredibly full flight was without adventure, it wasn’t. Perhaps I wasn’t supposed to disconnect so abruptly from my malaise but ease out of it slowly because the flight was filled with screaming children,major turbulance and some lady, trying to get her bag from the overhead (over my head) compartment hurling my metal cane and smashing me in the eye, causing massive pain, red welts, and me thinking that the plane had just been bombed.  A horrible passenger had a fight with the flight attendant and ended up shouting at her and giving her the finger. She was not saying “wait a minute.”

Once we got here, however, life was so very good. I eased into walking without a cane. We ate in the hotel for convenience sake last night and because we were so tired we thought we would pass out directly. I don’t remember much except having the fruit punch, a mixture of pineapple juice, red cranberry juice and orangey papaya juice;  It was addictive.  We stumbled into bed at 9pm, I don’t even remember putting my head on the pillow….

This morning we woke up, it was cloudy and my daughter cast a snarky attitude to the day, not seeing the promised sunshine. Luckily for us the wind changed and the sun, broiling in the sky, made several parts of us really sunburned. Tomorrow, we will use (even more) sunscreen.  Life’s a bitch.

A walk on the beach felt good for me both physically and mentally.  The sand is coarse, like kosher cooking salt, not smooth and shiny. The water, a perfect aquamarine was deliciously cool, salty and made me feel, as water always does, renewed. There are sharp inclines on the sand that are directly at the shore so it isn’t always easy to navigate, especially for me.

The pool was cool for some, never too cold f0r me and it had a swim-up bar, all frozen red-orange-pink drinks and large, light lime green margarita glasses rimmed with salt.  Sunglasses, a book, a virgin iced tea and the palm trees. Water, sand, palm trees, a cooling breeze; these are the pure things that make me very happy; this is my kind of heaven.

We went to dinner at Smokey Joe’s BBQ place and then took a long albeit painful walk back to the hotel..  I’m stubborn, I know. I didn’t want to miss up the opportunity to take pictures of Jillian next to a fake Santa or Christmas lights on the palm trees. Our son, Tim, is staying at his friend Aaron’s grandmother’s beach house aka  the mansion.  I’m glad that after all this time he was able to go; it was important for me, that after years of changing plans, he could finally do this.

Now it’s another nibble of dessert: white coconut cake with fresh pineapple inside and Jillian and Dan’s gooey, rich , sweet chocolate cake. Chocolates on the pillow; aloe on my body, vacations make me so very happy. And, I do deserve it.

Oprah’s White Coach-(freudian) Couch

November 4, 2009

Oprah’s white couch, Oprah’s white couch, Oprah’s white couch…..oh sorry, I guess I was in my dream mantra. I see myself sitting next to Oprah on her (duh) white couch. Wow, I have made it! I’m sitting next to Oprah (why I am not sure). But, who cares? IT”S OPRAH, I adore the woman and the show but I do miss the spiritual themes. The fashion accessories to a boring wife-mom like me is just not happening. If she could find me a pair of high heeled shoes (love that red bottom, it smells so expensive!) I’d pretty much give up a lot. Not to mention, I also need that bra intervention, jean intervention, make up intervention (I wear none) and every other intervention you can imagine. I’m not dissing myself but to me, fancy shoes are clogs. Really. If she like my writing, I would kiss the floor of her studio, I really would. I don’t have one of those posters she wants people to make but I have some ideas on my head. Life goals? I never had any but I am a little left back on these concepts and it takes me about 15 years after everyone else understands. Things I want to do in my lifetime? NOT BE humiliated in a pottery studio. I want to be like Demi Moore in Ghost but the only time I took a pottery class, the teacher yelled at me because I was so slow and couldn’t even do the manual snake roll. I quit. Shouldn’t have, I admit but I did. NOT GOOD WITH REJECTION. I also had a life goal of twigs that I thought of last night but have no clue what that represented. Maybe it was a dream?

Had a restless night with my husband, sleeping next to me, and flipping and flopping like a fish could in a net. I shoved, I pushed, I was cranky, and ended up with my torn ligament (guilt) moving to the one little spare room we have.  Tried to sleep there but couldn’t. Needless to say when he got up at 6am -AND he didn’t know I had gone missing (what woman could do that?) I crawled into our bed, now empty and went to sleep until I heard my sister come in the front door to visit me.

Sister=Mother

the same personality. In my mom’s “mouse fiasco” my sister agreed with her. Not a surprise. I really miss my dad. He has been dead 8 years now and sometimes it still is a complete shock to me. I don’t think it ever really sinks in completely. I adored my dad and we were so similiar, we understood each other with a glance. He would NOT have given away MY MOUSE!! He would have defended that mouse…and me. The good old days. No one can ever say “I know how you feel” if they haven’t lost a parent.  Trust me I know. I still think I see him sometimes on the streets, sometimes I just wake up and shake my head and think but he can’t be dead, how can he be dead. Now Life is before and after. Grief is an all consuming thing, it does get better but does not ever go away entirely. Sorry to be a downer but…….it happens. and…I so want to make my new friend laugh. I think I better wait till next time.

One more bit of personal trivia: my husband said he read my blog last night. He said it showed my sense of humor and that it HAD TYPOS. Yes, my friends, you will see typos and grammatical errors but this is not a book ready for publication it is a blog so bear with me. If I have to think of correcting and revising you would have stilted Laurie and we know, Laurie can’t really be stilted or stifled. Enough of that….people who know me know I have a big mouth, I’m  a Libra and I stick up for justice. Also, I am SUPER protective of those I love, family and friends. THAT won’t change.  More later.