English: the forests in new hampshire in autumn (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
It is officially Autumn, leaves are changing and the chill is in the air.
We know that Summer is over. We can’t change things, enjoy
the changing beauty that we have now: vibrant colors,
leaves changing colors on trees. What you can’t change,
APPRECIATE.
Uprooted tree from Storm Sandy (Photo credit: Arlington County)
Day 1 NaBloPoMo
The lights went out, there was no electricity, there was only a deep chill in the air that piles of blankets couldn’t help. Storm Sandy was visiting New York and I felt lonely and confused and in shock at what was happening. How could this happen here? I felt disappointed in a way that New York could let me down like this, I felt cheated. I couldn’t call anyone or take a walk, I looked out the window clutching my flashlight and there was nothing to see. Just darkness, lonely, cold darkness everywhere I could see. I thought I heard mumbling outside but I was too frightened to venture out and I wasn’t sure if it was real or my imagination. The wind was howling and reaching for the darkened windows with passion like two young lovers.
It was right after dinner when the lights went from on to off, no flickering as a warning, and I hate surprises of any kind. So, when I stood with two sharp knives near the dishwasher in the total darkness, I screamed as if I had been stabbed. My husband was also in the kitchen and he too, screamed, startled by the quick switch from light to dark. We were alone, together, in the sudden darkness of our neighborhood that I used to describe as “cozy.” Nothing felt cozy tonight.
Disbelief described our feelings as well. How could this happen, here? Nothing made sense, we were trying to make sense out of something that seemed impossible until now. Everything I knew before was gone;I felt sorry for the children who, once again, could not Trick or Treat. This was the new normal and it was sad.
Autumn Leaves (Photo credit: oddsock)
I am only one of the dappled leaves moving in the air as we quietly dance on pointe in a ballet or more likely swirling around like modern dancers with beautifully colored scarves. We live together in our community of family and friends: red and orange, green, yellow, brown, all leaves together intermingling in the air waving to each other all the time. Next time we are out in full, watch our tips, like little fingers, we are always trying to touch each other, tickle each other and make each other laugh, we love this game. In answer to your question, yes, we travel together as a family.
Against the velvet blue skies people look up and stare at us, we look back down at them and see wide eyes of all colors: brown, blue, black, like little buttons. Under stormy thunderous clouds, people look down and scuff their feet on us and mutter angry words; those aren’t our best days either.
When it is Autumn we seem to be most popular with people in their cars actually following us as we dance and play and flirt and cache. Our colors burn us with brightness, it’s a lovely feeling really, we become alive, we explode in our own skins. We blaze the sky with our lush, vibrant colors. We are our own theater, as we swirl and pirouette in the sky. Some people talk of “the wind” that makes us dance but we don’t know what wind is. I ask my friends do they know what the word “wind” means? Have they seen the “wind?” I haven’t. They don’t know what it is either so we just laugh it off and dance some more. We don’t spend much time with word games or any games except the one where we try to tickle each other. We live a simple, sweet life. We do love the attention and to hear the gasping sounds you make on the ground as you marvel at our colors and our performances.
We are a family of leaves, we care about each others happiness, we guard each others safety, we protect one another. We hide in the winter, we need to regroup after our fall showing, the performances we put on for you, we put all our intense energy into that. We love to do this for you for a little while but then we need to rest. We fade, we’re tired, we start to dry up. We hate not looking our best, we are all vain, it’s quite true.
We see each other when the festivities are over, when we people collect us all together before winter comes. We are swept away in piles with hands or rakes or with loud machines. We love it when children jump in us, just to hear their laughter makes us happy. Soon, we need to settle down to sleep, in the quiet corners of the earth, where we cuddle up with one another and lie close together smelling the musky scent of the earth.
Before the snow blankets us with white lace, we put our arms around each other and rock gently. Yes, it will be our time together very soon but not yet. We need to sleep, we need to rest as everyone does at some time. We huddle closer and closer and remind ourselves that without this icy blast, this cold frost we would not know any difference in our worlds. We only appreciate warmth and the sun because we have felt the bitter cold blast and have seen total darkness.
Cherish the pink sky (Photo credit: Darwin Bell)
The undying rain
Torrents of gray-black madness
First crack of dawn’s light.
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Hear the sound of the falling rain… (Photo credit: Sven Festersen)
Love, like shiny rocks
glistening in the new sun
drops of water, grin.
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Pink sky, love abounds
nature is holy, trees
Beauty is the Spring.
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Image via Wikipedia
I’m watching tiny flecks of snow come down constantly, through the trees and on the trees like vanilla frosted brownies. It is peaceful with my husband and children home. They have a snow day and they are as excited now as they were when they were eight and ten. I don’t think you ever get over the excitement of a snow day, no matter how old you are or what you do.
My daughter and I ate egg and cheese sandwiches that my husband made. Our son sat in the family room in his blue fleece beer mug pajama pants, his phone in one hand, the other playing X-box. I wanted to say “come here, watch the snow fall from the sky” but I know better. At their ages, 16 and 18, they have their own personal snow scenes that don’t include me. It took some getting used to when they were in their early teens but now we have settled into a routine. I know that this routine will only last a little while and then it will change and be replaced by another. I’m not great with change but I know I need 24-48 hours to get used to new things and then I am fine or as fine as I can possibly be.
I am wearing my dad’s old West Point sweatshirt and blue snow flake pajama pants, lying in our bed, alternately reading, writing and glancing up to the sky to see the delicate flakes fall. The sky is so full of snow that it looks pink. I always say I hate the winter and I do but for the first time I wonder if I did live in a warm climate all year round, would I miss it? Would I appreciate Spring as much as I do if I didn’t have to go through Winter?
My daughter just brought me a cup of tea and served it to me in my room. How lovely that she asked me if I wanted a cup. Children are joyful beings and as an old teacher once said “they will constantly surprise you” and they do. My children will be grown-ups soon, they will age, as we all do. My children have grown up here in our little house with their bikes and skateboards, “Razors” and their lemonade stands.
The best thing I have ever done in my life is to get married to my loving husband and have two of the most amazing children you could hope for. I never had much ambition in life other than being a mom and writing, but being a mom is who I am; it’s what I was meant to do; it’s my Nobel Peace prize, my heart and my soul, my life’s work.
When our work in life is completely over bury me near a tree that blooms pink flowers with my husband and soul-mate, my love and best friend beside me. If all it said on my headstone was “Loving Wife” and “Beloved Mother” I would be gently smiling, and at peace.
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