Juan Pablo, Go Away (Pop Cop)

The Pitons from offshore, St. Lucia

The Pitons from offshore, St. Lucia (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Bachelor (US TV series)

The Bachelor (US TV series) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I admit, I stooped to a new low when I decided to watch pity-party television the last two or three weeks. Mea Culpa. I watched part of “The Bachelor” for the first time in my life. I’m still putting my foot down on Dancing With The Stars but I have no doubt if things get worse, I’ll be watching that too.

I really don’t know what the big deal is about the “charming” Juan Pablo. To me, he’s a handsome (I’ll give him that,) rude, jerk. He, in no way, knows how to treat women and from my point of view the only thing I envy about him is where he lives. Oh, come on, don’t you dream of living in St. Lucia?

Those cleverly placed ads to fly to St. Lucia, worked for me. Like I’m sure they did for thousands of men and women who said to their partners “Honey, I wanna go to St. Lucia….” For us it is NOT an option, financially, but if I should win the lottery? I would be there with my family and keep my gorgeous 19-year-old daughter far away from him. Seriously, far, far away from him with her older brother as a well-paid security guard.

I think JP is a chauvinist, but I also think the concept of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette is kind of creepy. I’m sure you are too young to remember this but I much preferred the old-fashioned “Dating Game” (Google it.) I agree it was totally moronic but at least I didn’t have to watch everybody’s tongue pushed down everybody else’s throat. (Imagine the germs!)  I am shocked that Purell is not a sponsor or at least Listerine, you missed your chance. If you sponsor now, my readers will know it was MY IDEA. Royalties should be sent to:
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Furthermore, what messages are we showing our children? It’s on at 8pm and I do know parents who watch this show with their kids. Believe me, I am saying the same thing about The Bachelorette  (Andi) who is the only contestant I truly admire. She is razor-sharp, has a law degree and will not take insincerity from anyone. She called Juan Pablo out on his lack of emotion, being rude and his total sense of self. (Read: ego.)  She tried to challenge him and you know what happened? Nothing. The man had zero affect, he was the same all the time, every time.

The most he could conjure up was “Ees okay.” Listen Ricky Ricardo” “Ees obviously NOT okay. Grow up. Take a few courses in Women’s Studies, actually MAJOR in it.

Begrudgingly I do have to admit that Juan Pablo’s culture is different from all the women and I think that may be a reason? Believe me, I am in no way, defending him but perhaps this is a way to understand him? I know, I’m pushing it…

Andi, you definitely were my fan favorite: incredibly smart, you knew yourself and obviously Juan Pablo, sure you got swayed but hey, who doesn’t like a little romance? No fault of yours at all. I swore I wouldn’t watch this show ever again but with you as a Bachelorette? I’ll have to think twice.

As for Juan Pablo, get over yourself. You’re cute, big deal. “EES NOT ENOUGH FOR US.”

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“The Taste” 2 (Aren’t You A Sweetie Pie?)

English: Marcus Samuelsson doing a lecture at ...

English: Marcus Samuelsson doing a lecture at Google in NYC. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I never do follow-up blogs on here, but somehow the show “The Taste” just begs to be written about, don’t you think? It’s a great food show but somehow it’s also like a comical farce. Do you believe the characters? Love them but surely they must also be picked for their entertainment value as well as their culinary skills. Right?

The judges, are the most entertaining: Ludow running around, literally running around yelling and screaming at everybody. How can that not be comical? Anthony Bourdain brooding, muttering “I hate dessert” like a five-year old. Nigella Lawson just standing there doing absolutely nothing, the “yellow” star of the day goes to Marcus Samuelsson. Not for the winning dish either but for his calmness and class and just the right amount of instruction. KUDOS, Chef Mark and Team.

I do agree with the other contestants that just because *(sorry, I don’t remember her name) dessert was unusual and unique she should not have won. I never heard anyone say they “loved it.” I heard nothing about the exquisite flavors or different textures, all I saw: scrambled eggs with sugar sauce. Come on guys, really? That was the BEST taste for you or just one that was different?

Anthony Bourdain’s utter dislike for desserts and sweets is legendary, why have that challenge when he is so biased? Would you have a tea drinker judge a coffee contest?  It doesn’t make sense. Why even put it on the show?  If you KNOW one of the judges will hate anything creamy, sugary or sweet why have that challenge at all? It’s a no brainer.

I think that this was a waste of an episode it really should not have been aired, and the special guest star chef, perky* Miss Sunshine? Wow!  Is she always like that? She must be eating a ton of sugar and I get that because I am a HUGE dessert person. I GET desserts, it’s genetically programmed from my German mother and Viennese Dad.

While I was sorry to see *Ms. Food Truck go home because I did think she had have a spark and a passion about cooking I think they kept the right person. Damn that zest and if we have learned anything from that show and for life it is this: Trust your gut instincts. If it doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t. You can use that every single day of your life, many times over. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. Pretend I’m Oprah and listen.

* I apologize for not knowing their names, they were not, as of yet, on Google.

Dear Glee, Just Tell The Truth About Finn. Please.

English: Logo of the TV series Glee

English: Logo of the TV series Glee (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Here’s a newsflash, drugs really do KILL young people. Yup, and guess when kids do drugs and alcohol?l Apparently my two started in high school but from what I hear kids are starting younger and younger. I have two kids in college now and I think I’m a very good mom and have good instincts but apparently I trusted my kids too much and I had NO IDEA  that they were drinking in high school.  My son said once, when I asked him about high school:”high school is one big lie.”  Boy, was he ever right. Watch for it, prepare for it, it will happen and yes, it is true.

I bring this up because I happened to watch an episode of Glee on-line the other night and I felt shocked and disappointed. Of all shows, Glee was hiding something? It was hiding something HUGE and from what I read about it when it happened, there were no plans to tell the viewers how Finn/Cory died. Are you kidding me? Why not?  It is an opportunity to TEACH unlike any other. I know during the beginning of the episode Kurt’s character says something about “I don’t care how he died, I just want to remember how he lived. ” Very convenient but truly a big disappointment. Life is not one musical melody after another in the real world. Glee has covered some amazingly wonderful and difficult topics: bullying, homosexuality, transgender, obsessive compulsive behavior, Down’s Syndrome, etc. why are they coping out now?

Cory Monteith/Finn Hudson

Died of an overdose of heroin and alcohol.

English: Actor Cory Monteith at premiere party...

English: Actor Cory Monteith at premiere party of TV series Glee, Santa Monica, California. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This is a show that has taken on so many important issues and I would like to see Finn’s/Cory Monteith’s death handled HONESTLY, not for me but for the thousands, millions of teenagers or pre-teens that need to understand the harsh, sometimes deadly implications of drugs and alcohol. This is reality, folks. True, we don’t go around high school breaking into song when we want with perfectly pitched voices but there is bullying and discrimination, popular kids, mean teachers and yes, there is most certainly drugs and alcohol. This is a show that has taken on so many important issues and I would like to see Finn’s/Cory Monteith’s death handled HONESTLY, not for me but for the thousands, millions of teenagers or pre-teens that need to see this. This is reality, folks. True, we don’t go around high school breaking into song when we want with perfectly pitched voices but there is bullying and discrimination, popular kids, mean teachers and yes, there is most certainly drugs and alcohol.

I’m not sure how  the last episode of the longest good-bye in history will go. I’ve heard different things but please, please just listen and let this be a teaching moment for the kids and their parents. Cory Monteith died of an overdose of heroin and alcohol, let Finn die the same way. Let others learn from his tragic mistake. Watch it together, talk about it. It’s a great opportunity to communicate. You owe it to Cory Monteith and those that loved him. Honestly, I think he would have wanted it this way.Giving his life some real meaning for others, saving lives not losing them.

Seeking Paradise OR Grieving Does Not Have A Time Schedule

Vegetables in a grocery store, Paris, France.

Vegetables in a grocery store, Paris, France. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m lying in my bed, still in my pajamas, it’s almost three o’clock in the afternoon. My husband and I had planned to go out to dinner tonight but there is no way in hell I’m going. He thinks I will change my mind. He tries guilt “but I’ m going to be disappointed….” Apparently he doesn’t know me as well as he thinks he does. I do not like to go out when I  feel blue.  I will not step out of my house today unless there is a fire, even then, I would find a cozy corner for me and my red dog that seemed safe enough. I would protect her.

Sometimes I get delayed reactions to things, things that I THOUGHT I had handed well, or maybe this is just a blip in the radar. I used all the right buzz words, “when one door closes another opens” I was practically playing Mother Abbess role singing out loud to “Climb Every Mountain” from “The Sound of Music.” Not now. I’m stuck in mud, not the kind that you can joyfully wade through and play in but the one you feel where you feel trapped in cement and cannot move. Yes, it will change eventually, Patience is not one of my virtues.

This is too familiar we’ve gone through this before. My husband got laid off from his job, I know it’s not his fault, the state of the economy is horrific. His age, doesn’t help, I’m quite sure. He is probably competing with 22-year-old youngsters, bright and bushy-tailed. that will accept less money. It’s those of us who are in-between that suffer the most.

Call us “Baby Boomers,” call us “Empty Nesters” but pretty much, call us what we are: F—ed. We’re taking care of or worrying about our remaining living parents, we have children in college, and we have no idea what to do ourselves. Where should we live? Should we stay, move twice, do nothing? Stress! I live in a town whose school systems excel, one that my kids both graduated from. The taxes are high but the thought of moving twice makes my blood curdle at the thought. I like a town that is peaeful, not divisive, where we help each other, not fight.

The only good thing for my husband and me is that we ARE open to moving, anywhere. If my husband got a job offer in California we would definitely consider it.(Sorry, kids) But, what are the chances?  Right now not very high at all. Besides, no matter where we end up, our children will ALWAYS  have a home. That’s one thing they never, EVER, have to worry about.

The days now are dreary, cold and grey. Wind is chilly and goes right through my winter jacket. I despise going out when the sun sets around four pm, even the grocery store is dull with its flat vegetables and fruit. I miss plums and peaches, cherries and magnificently bright-colored fruit that made summer so cheery. The ripe taste, juice dribbling down your chin, laughing. I’m stuck, we’re stuck and there really is nothing we can do about it.

I know, I’m procrastinating on writing my book. True. That is one thing I SHOULD do. It’s one thing I COULD do and have in my control. That, and what I eat. Food you can also control. I don’t have an eating disorder but it feels good to be able to control something. Yes, things will change, I need to be patient but it is okay to be sad. Dwelling on it, that’s a whole other story, I don’t want to go there. Tonight, I dearly miss my children, I can’t wait to see them in a few weeks, even when they make fun of me, especially when they make fun of me. At least, I will laugh.

A Kinder, Gentler, Simon Cowell? (Pop Cop)

English: Simon Cowell at the National Televisi...

English: Simon Cowell at the National Television Awards at the Royal Albert Hall, London, October 2006. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I can’t honestly say for sure but in my gut I’m sensing a kinder, gentler, Simon Cowell just from watching episodes of The X Factor. Could that be possible true or is it my imagination? First of all I love the show and as critical as Simon is, he’s gained a tender, playful side to him that I’ve never seen before. He even referenced that he was going to be a father, unless I didn’t hear correctly?  He did say something to that effect, didn’t he? I believe he did.

He seems to still tell the truth but on a “not-so-nasty-shove-it-in-your-face-twist-the-knife-kind-of-way.” He genuinely smiles now. He’s not half as snarky as he used to be. Someone tell me I’m not dreaming because it seems so surreal. If Simon Cowell can actually look tender, there is hope for the world, right? Stranger things have happened.

Whoever his lovely lady-friend is, Ms. Lauren Silverman, I say “Congratulations” you must be a very special woman. I don’t care about the specifics of your relationship or the behind the scene interactions that’s your business and not mine and I am not one to judge. Just watching Simon smile and fool around with the other judges makes me grin foolishly. How silly, I don’t even remotely know this man yet I am happy for him, I really am.

He seems grounded now, he doesn’t need to talk about himself all the time, he has a lady-love and a baby on the way. Who would have thought of Simon as a family man? Simon, I am happy for you and you will never know who I am but that doesn’t matter. It makes ME smile to see the way your eyes crinkle now in laughter, to see you laugh at yourself and have fun. Mazel tov, you will be a great dad.

Who knew?

The X Factor (Australia)

The X Factor (Australia) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“North West?” Just Hear Me Groan… (Pop Cop)

Well, now I’ve heard it all, yup, that’s right. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West named their brand new baby girl: wait for it: NORTH. Her name is

144264091

144264091 (Photo credit: accidentalpaparazzi)

NORTH WEST. Let me guess, if little North West gets married she can only get married to a guy or a gal  (Yay) whose last name is AIRLINES, ba da ding!  Out of all names possible this is the one that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West came up with. Seriously?  I think the nickname that they picked “Nori” is adorable. Why not just NAME the kid “Nori” and make life simpler for everyone, including your daughter. You know, of course, that North is going to change her name, for sure, once she is of legal age and who can blame her? I swear, I hope she picks something old-fashioned just to annoy her parents, how about Ruth or Elizabeth, Bertha or Helen.

Is anyone else getting sick of these so-called “sell-ebreties” naming their kids all these weird ass kinds of names for attention to be “unique aka weird.”I think Apple was the first piece of fruit to be named and we thought that was outrageous back then. Oh Gwynnie, you old trend setter, you.

Besides, maybe it’s just me but I don’t consider Kim Kardashian a celebrity. Meryl Streep, yes, Kim Kardashian, so not.That’s like comparing Honey BooBoo to Shirley Temple, the child star of my youth. The whole family should leave television and work for a box chain store, maybe Wal-Mart or K-mart without the benefit of hair and make-up, wearing sneakers, not stilettos and roomy uniforms not dresses that are 6 sizes too small for them.

My goodness, Mom Kardashian,I mean Jenner, whatever, go home and start counting your face/body lifts or work for the poor, do something good for the world, hide and do volunteer work. Now you are going to have your own television show? Gosh I am so shocked! (Not) Here’s one viewer that will not tune in. But, then again, I’ve never watched one episode of any Kardashian show. It makes me want to gag. Rumor has it that North West will make an appearance on your show, WOW, what a ratings booster. Want to make a bet it’s going to be on Day One?!

The only Kardashian I think I like is the married Kardashian (I googled-her name, Khloe) who is trying to have a baby (allegedly) and I feel bad for her if it is true. I too, went through infertility for two and a half years and it’s excruciatingly painful both physically and emotionally. Especially when you have two sisters who have children already. Trust me, I know. In the middle of my infertility struggles, my sister had me lie down next to her and go over names she liked for her second child. It was so NOT cool. I just remember trying to keep my act together until we left and then bursting into tears when I saw my mom. She understood.

Well, Nori, you have a cute little nickname, please use it as often as possible. When you start school, nursery school, pre-school make sure they call you Nori. I know I’m getting a little ahead of myself, but all those SAT forms, driver’s ed forms, etc. when they want the LAST NAME FIRST: West, FIRST NAME: NORTH. Wow, just wow. Good luck, sweetheart.

p.s. if you happen to have a sibling…will it be South or East? We’re taking bets already. but, we may not have to worry about that quite yet. It’s Hollywood. Things change…rapidly.

Compass

Compass (Photo credit: Shevralay)

My Addiction To Grey’s Anatomy (Spoiler Alert) Pop Cop

Grey's Anatomy (soundtrack)

Grey’s Anatomy (soundtrack) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I admit it. I’ve watched the Grey’s Anatomy finale three times. Don’t judge me. I had to watch it the second time because the soundtrack/music of the show is so loud sometimes that, with my one deaf ear,  I can’t make out the words. To clarify, I have to ask my sister or my daughter. After that, I watch it again to see what I have missed and it is like watching it anew. (I have written to ABC about it in the past and they were ever so nice but they sent me a letter full of technical language that I could barely understand. Maybe I’ll write again.) The third time is pure indulgence, air conditioning on, no one at home, volume high, sprawled on the bed with my dog, a cheese stick, some crackers, red grapes, a bit of heaven.

Personally, I don’t think Richard is necessarily dead. Of course he looks dead but in every show there is always at least one cliff hanger, usually more, and for Grey’s Anatomy, for once, this was actually tame. Tame, you ask? Well, relatively speaking. Sure, in the past there have been numerous tragedies per episode (damn it, why did you have to kill of Lexi, I loved her and I named my dog after her.) But, I digress, a friend of mine mentioned to me that someone dies in every episode, that could be true but it IS a medical show.

Finally, a happy moment when Bailey saves Meredith’s life and lo and behold Meredith names her son….da da daaa….Bailey, after, of course, Dr. Miranda Bailey who is a much-loved surgeon who has been through a tough time (like who in this show hasn’t gone through a tough time) and has basically saved Meredith’s life (Meredith’s life has been saved about 11 times already.)

Karev  turned out to be a mush after all (okay we all knew that long ago) and his relationship with what’s-her-name, the tough cookie, Jo? Sorry sweetheart, I honestly don’t remember your name but it looks like it just might work out. I give Christina enormous credit for walking away from Hunt and finally accepting herself as who she really is. Kudos, Christina. And did you notice there was no arguing from him when she left? He was fooling himself all along but she knew better.Wonderful character development for both of them!

Callie and Arizona, well, well, well. A little disappointed in Arizona and the new kid in town known in our family as Peyton from “One Tree Hill” but Arizona still held a grudge against Callie for amputating her leg, even if it was to save her life.”IT WAS TO SAVE HER LIFE!”  Not sure how that will end up bu it truly was an incredibly good, powerful scene. Arizona, get with the program already, grow up.

So, Zola, go to sleep, sweet child and know when next season comes back (AND IT BETTER) you will be a bigger girl and an older sister. You may be jealous but that’s okay, it will all work out, with a little darkness, a little twisty drama and a whole lot of love.

I Hate Salmon, So Stop Making Me Feel So Damn Guilty!

English: Flesh of an Atlantic Salmon.

English: Flesh of an Atlantic Salmon. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If I read one more article about the health benefits of my least favorite, strong (sorry, foul to me) smelling fish I am going to have a nutty. This expression was coined by my friend, Debbie, when our  boys were 2 years old.  The boys would often go off the deep end, fight, scream and cry, and we were sleep deprived and over-whelmed. Having “a nutty”just summed it up for both kids and moms.

By now, we know from every magazine, newspaper, television and vitamin commercial that the almighty salmon is healthy to eat and it has antioxidants. We see that everywhere, hear about that from friends, family, doctors, hair stylists, people from Verizon and Comcast. You get the idea. I’m wondering if I am the ONLY outcast who just can’t stand the stuff. I want to like it and be healthy but frankly the mere smell makes me nauseous.

I  blame my friend’s mother Natalie who forced me to eat it at their home one day when I was a young teenager. This family was very strict and very rule conscious, believe me. When I  politely refused to eat the salmon mousse for lunch she did not give up. Nor did she say, “I understand, have a peanut butter sandwich.” She then lied and said that” it was tuna, her mistake.” There was absolutely no choice in this household, I’d still be sitting there, hunched over, 42 years later if I hadn’t gulped it down, quickly throwing back whatever beverage was at hand. Believe me, no way was it soda, I’m betting on milk.

My husband eats salmon often when we go out to eat as does my mother and almost every person I know. Is there a salmon conspiracy? (I’m kidding) I have tried tiny bits of salmon in different forms with different toppings, yes, I want to like it. I don’t. Believe me, at 56 years old, there is no one, no chef, no expert that could make me eat salmon willingly. Hey, Top Chef, why don’t you make this one of your challenges? Because no one would win? Want to try it? Game on.

I’m sick of the articles in every Health Magazine about the benefits of eating this red-headed monster fish. I don’t even like looking at it on the plate. I feel like I’m supposed to feel guilty for NOT eating it and if I get really sick, which is inevitable, people around me will point a slim finger at me and say “You really should have forced yourself to eat salmon, it’s really not that bad.” So, don’t blame me, blame Natalie who forced me to eat it and I never recovered after that experience.

My daughter was a picky eater ever since she began eating solid foods, she would not eat the turkey, lamb, meat baby food. She spit it out. Know what? I didn’t force her to eat it, how could I? She wouldn’t swallow it. I let her eat other things instead and not junk. Today she is an admirable vegetarian, not eating meat for ethical reasons. Her older brother once tried to make her eat a tiny bite of his hamburger at McDonald’s and she did but she spit it out. So, in our house we have one vegetarian and one carnivore. I think we were too easy, looking back, not making our kids try things and offering options instead but we were new parents. Not wanting to make other people’s mistakes, as usual, we made our own.

The Celebrity Apprentice

aboard the Kandy Kruise 09/14/2007

Image via Wikipedia

I haven’t watched The Apprentice in a couple of years. For some reason, this year I stumbled on The Celebrity Apprentice but realized that I missed the first show. I don’t know why I love The Celebrity Apprentice, but I do; I find it hilarious and fascinating. The next day I watched it on Hulu (Thank you Hulu) and I was delighted to be able to watch the first episode. It’s my guilty pleasure. I’m not sure why I am so tickled about the show but I will say this: THE CELEBRITIES!  They make me laugh and groan and truly get the audience involved. Good hiring, Mr. Trump! Here are just some of the celebrities that were on the show: Goodbye Diane Warwick (serious attitude), Hello Neenie (serious spunk). LaToya Jackson (really, not sure what to say or maybe I just can’t hear her) Star Jones (Really wouldn’t want to be on HER bad side, she scares me.) This season you have to admit the cast ENGAGES you.

I might have rewatch the Gary Bussey and Meatloaf episodes again. Just seeing Meatloaf in the boardroom trying to hold himself together without completely losing it should win him an Academy Award or any type of award. Gary Bussey? (HA HA HA HA) The man might be a genius(?) but I’m sorry to say I really don’t think he has all his coffee cups in the cupboardt. I’m not judging, I’m just saying. It did, however, make for excellent television viewing.  What will I do now that he has been fired? I will still watch but I guess I will have to focus more of my attention on  Star Jones and Neenie confrontations. Don’t you think? There’s the pretty Playmate of the year ( I think), a country singer named John (Rich?) a rap star named Lil John and maybe a couple of more people, not really sure.

I love Donald Trump (this does not mean an endorsement for President however) and the way Ivanka and Don Jr. play this game. I feel that Eric is not as comfortable as his siblings. How perfect and beautiful is Ivanka anyway? I don’t care what she says which is not much but often on target she is just pretty to watch. Don Jr. makes me laugh because you kind of get a sense that he is having a little fun with all this and doesn’t take it quite so seriously.

There’s just one question that I have for the show. If people are debating about lying and who said what, why can’t they go back to the tape and say “Gee Gary, it did look like you were strong arming the head of the company and offering them your services as a spokesperson?”  Wouldn’t that make more sense? Is it just to see how people view their own actions and how their memories are so different? Couldn’t you see The Donald pausing and going: “let’s go to the tape now” pointer in hand?

When our kids were little The Apprentice was a show we all watched together. We were glued to the tv set for every episode. Now, it’s my dirty little secret. Last week, the Meatloaf/Bussey debacle was on and I was laughing out loud. I thought I was alone until my sixteen year old daughter walked in the room while I was watching, turned to look at me, rolled her eyes as only 16 year olds can do and said, with contempt:  “I’m judging you.” Go ahead, sweetheart, judge away. I wouldn’t have missed Meatloaf and Gary Bussey for the world. I just hope The Celebrity Apprentice will hold my attention until the end. Oh, who am I kidding, of course it will. Thanks, Donald, for a great season, and if you run for President, may I suggest Gary Bussey as your VP?

I Have AlwaysImagined Myself As A SINGER

Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young at concert, Augus...

Image via Wikipedia

In my own fantasy, I am already a great singer. I love to sing, out loud, off-key and happily. It doesn’t matter to me that I can’t carry a tune or that I am practically tone deaf. Singing can lure me out of a bad mood to a good one (ok, not always, I admit.) I am singing the music from the last Gray’s Anatomy musical show, I sing the songs from Glee, Simon and Garfunkel, James Taylor, Carly Simon and Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. I have been living in the seventies for a long time “Helplessly Hoping” that I will always enjoy these songs and that I will always be able to sing with a smile on my face and a nod to the past.

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