The Taste: Oh Nigella, Again?

I wrote an article last year about the show “The Taste” where one contestant, I believe her name was Jacquelyn, walked off the set during the show. It was FABULOUS. I mean it, it was utterly delicious, unexpected, and simply divine. She had been on Nigella Lawson’s team. (There’s a shocker!.)

There is something about the way Nigella Lawson acts

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as a “Mentor” that drives me a little crazy and it is difficult to put into word but to sum it up…

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she’s awful. Sometimes she micromanages and sometimes she’s aloof and always wants to blame the people on her team instead of taking any responsibility herself. She does not know how to mentor people or nurture (I think she’s an ice queen) and frankly I don’t think she can learn. There is something innate about this.You can’t teach some people certain social skills, if they don’t have them.

It’s like asking Ludow (Ludow Lefebvre) not to shout or scream. What an amusing thought. He would have to have a lobotomy and but would he want to? That is his style. Bless him and all of the people that choose him.. Of course he wouldn’t be able to do this, it’s part of who he is. I would basically cry or want to throw objects at his head if I was on his team but I would never BE on his team. If I had my choice (not that I can cook one thing at the level they cook) I would pick Marcus or Anthony.

Speaking of Anthony, is anyone else getting sick of the slobbering one contestant is doing over him. Ms. Flirty Flirt? Sure, he’s a handsome and a very talented guy but, honey, you are making yourself look like an utter fool. What, are you 8 years old? Did you just get over

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Justin Bieber? All those double entendres,the camera panniing to see your “orgasmic” look, really woth it? Everyone seems to be making fun of you. Blech, it’s not even cute, it’s practically over the top. Have your crush sweetie, but don’t flaunt it, it makes you look like an ass.

Those shots of your team mates glancing over to you (rolling their eyes?)  that’s for televesion and I am sure, they are judging you too. Of course, dreamy Tony encourages it, he is Anthony Bourdain, he can get away with it, he is a sexy star and a bad ass, he can do whatever he wants. He gets paid extremely well for looking hot.

You, Crush Girl are not and it seems that you are not giving women a good name. Please don’t carry on like this. You will be great on your own, leave your crush on Bourdain at home.

The last episode I watched, Nigella’s team was down to two people (two nervous looking young women, pray for them) and a couple of people left from other teams though I know Bourdain’s team was pretty solid.

This show is pure entertainment and that is wonderful. I also watch Top Chef and frankly I think they have gone over the top showing that poor bunny rabbit, skinned. I couldn’t watch it, my husband did and I screamed like a baby. It still makes me nauseous and sad.

Yes, I know I eat meat, thank you very much, and I accept that I am a hypocrite, so let’s get that over with right now. I don’t need speeches. There are certain animals I can’t eat: rabbits, goats, frogs, ducks and any innards.) I don’t eat a lot of meat at all but when the urge for a cheeseburger comes, I don’t deny it.

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I am definitely sticking with The Taste, I love watching it with my husband. It’s not like I’m learning to cook, I”m not. But, it is the most entertaining cooking show on the air, for me.

Calling All Cheeseburgers (Food Cop)

We have eaten salad for the last four nights. Our daughter, the vegetarian, approves. I’m glad and it’s healthy but I cannot go another night eating just salad.

Salad (Photo credit: SliceOfChic)

I need a cheeseburger.

I’m not kidding, I really miss red meat and I haven’t had any in months. You would think this would be the time to turn off my craving for red meat and stick to vegetables but why really?

We eat so little of it that I don’t think I should blame myself for having a little red meat when I want, it’s like my blood is calling out for iron. Okay, it’s basically because I am craving the cheeseburger and the french fries, I admit it.

English: Homemade cheeseburger with french fries. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Tomorrow, my husband and I are going to get cheeseburgers at a small place in the neighborhood. Their burgers are absolutely divine, their french fries are thin crispy and salty. My cholesterol is fine and my weight is wonderful. I exercise. I look good.

Why am I rationalizing this treat? I have no idea. I guess it seems like I should. Partially because I know our daughter will look down or be disappointed at us but then that happens often she is turning twenty very soon. I can deal with that.

Tonight I ate eggplant with tomato sauce. I had to have a snack at midnight, the salad and eggplant left me starving at 11:30 pm.

eggplant with fresh tomato sauce (Photo credit: Endless Simmer)

I am looking forward to biting into a medium cooked juicy cheeseburger, crisp fries dunked in ketchup and the small salad that comes with it (which I may or may not eat.)

I can’t wait.

 

I Hate Salmon, So Stop Making Me Feel So Damn Guilty!

English: Flesh of an Atlantic Salmon. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If I read one more article about the health benefits of my least favorite, strong (sorry, foul to me) smelling fish I am going to have a nutty. This expression was coined by my friend, Debbie, when our  boys were 2 years old.  The boys would often go off the deep end, fight, scream and cry, and we were sleep deprived and over-whelmed. Having “a nutty”just summed it up for both kids and moms.

By now, we know from every magazine, newspaper, television and vitamin commercial that the almighty salmon is healthy to eat and it has antioxidants. We see that everywhere, hear about that from friends, family, doctors, hair stylists, people from Verizon and Comcast. You get the idea. I’m wondering if I am the ONLY outcast who just can’t stand the stuff. I want to like it and be healthy but frankly the mere smell makes me nauseous.

I  blame my friend’s mother Natalie who forced me to eat it at their home one day when I was a young teenager. This family was very strict and very rule conscious, believe me. When I  politely refused to eat the salmon mousse for lunch she did not give up. Nor did she say, “I understand, have a peanut butter sandwich.” She then lied and said that” it was tuna, her mistake.” There was absolutely no choice in this household, I’d still be sitting there, hunched over, 42 years later if I hadn’t gulped it down, quickly throwing back whatever beverage was at hand. Believe me, no way was it soda, I’m betting on milk.

My husband eats salmon often when we go out to eat as does my mother and almost every person I know. Is there a salmon conspiracy? (I’m kidding) I have tried tiny bits of salmon in different forms with different toppings, yes, I want to like it. I don’t. Believe me, at 56 years old, there is no one, no chef, no expert that could make me eat salmon willingly. Hey, Top Chef, why don’t you make this one of your challenges? Because no one would win? Want to try it? Game on.

I’m sick of the articles in every Health Magazine about the benefits of eating this red-headed monster fish. I don’t even like looking at it on the plate. I feel like I’m supposed to feel guilty for NOT eating it and if I get really sick, which is inevitable, people around me will point a slim finger at me and say “You really should have forced yourself to eat salmon, it’s really not that bad.” So, don’t blame me, blame Natalie who forced me to eat it and I never recovered after that experience.

My daughter was a picky eater ever since she began eating solid foods, she would not eat the turkey, lamb, meat baby food. She spit it out. Know what? I didn’t force her to eat it, how could I? She wouldn’t swallow it. I let her eat other things instead and not junk. Today she is an admirable vegetarian, not eating meat for ethical reasons. Her older brother once tried to make her eat a tiny bite of his hamburger at McDonald’s and she did but she spit it out. So, in our house we have one vegetarian and one carnivore. I think we were too easy, looking back, not making our kids try things and offering options instead but we were new parents. Not wanting to make other people’s mistakes, as usual, we made our own.

Dairy vs. Meat

There Is NO Contest

I’ve often thought about giving up meat entirely and I have tried….for a week or two, then I get a craving for well-made grilled hamburger and I lose any hope that I could give up meat full-time. I could NEVER give up dairy easily AT ALL. My daughter is a vegetarian, has always been a vegetarian and her diet consists of pasta and dairy. When she was younger we called her a “Dairytarian” because she would not eat vegetables either. I would give up meat and she and I could eat platters of cheese with shiny green and red apples and steaming hot French bread and butter or pasta with marinara sauce and melted mozzarella cheese, all the time.

Move Over ESL, Cranky Is My New Language

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It was one of THOSE days. You know the kind, when nothing goes right, annoying things happen and no matter what you try, it doesn’t help.  Made a decision, did you? Guess what, it was the wrong one. It was the day of Cranky. I spoke Cranky, I lived and ate and breathed Cranky. If I had a cat, her name would be Cranky.  I felt irritable with life’s problematic surprises and unexpected twists and I felt very out of control.

My children doused the only piece of furniture that I love, my green couch, with water guns. No, my children are not 4 and 6 years old, they are 16 and 18.  Need I say more? The couch, that I picked out, and the multi-colored  square rug beneath it have always made me happy. Why? Because it was the first thing that I bought with great strength of style and character; I was so sure about it and didn’t waver; to me, it was my own tiny corner of the Museum of Modern Art, at home.

Later that day we drove to a restaurant to celebrate my husband’s birthday. He got lost again and again. Nor did he have the directions with him, he didn’t NEED that, we had been there twice before, silly me!! When I suggested the GPS, he scoffed. He also made an illegal red turn with the (driving) teenagers in the back seat of the car. I was fuming. Dude, what the HELL were you thinking? You’re supposed to be the role model here. At that moment, fuming and cranky became first cousins.

Once seated in the restaurant our daughter, a vegetarian, asked for the chef’s special vegetable plate and we all knew she wouldn’t touch it. She played with her food and moved vegetables around that included: cooked kale and spinach, and fennel and she ate about two bites for 21 dollars. Before she ordered we suggested she order A SALAD  or pasta but she refused. She knew better and at practically 17 anything we suggest is useless. I even said she might want to tell the waitress the vegetables that she DID like but apparently my idea was stupid. Of course it was.

My husband and son shared a steak the size of a lobster pot, it was so large and bloody, it was hard to even take a glance at it.  I decided to have three appetizers: a buttery bibb lettuce salad with a light yogurt dressing  which was lovely, an appetizer of braised ribs ravioli, sweet and soft, the texture of the braised meat contrasting the delicate ravioli casing.  The red velvet cake I chose for dessert was extremely disappointing and tasteless. For those of you who know me, a dessert I don’t like is equal to a symphony of crankiness.

The heel of my left foot throbbed horribly with pain when I walked, the jabbing pain even woke me up in the middle of the night. Not being able to walk comfortably is crankiness personified. I have iced it, wrapped it, rubbed it and have tried at least ten different shoe and old, peeling orthotic combinations, nothing helps.  I’ve had this before and once it starts it takes a long, long time to go away. It’s a stubborn, stupid, painful, cranky, old ailment for cranky, old, me. It’s not enough that I don’t have energy? Now, I can’t even walk comfortably.

I’m tired as hell and just want to lie on the bed, since every bone and joint in my body is not just aching with pain but screaming with it. There are no medications to heal it, or relieve it, it’s something I have to live with every single day and night of my life. I am trying to stay awake and of course I fall asleep, the lights on, the computer on my stomach. I wake up two hours later, annoyed with myself.

The day and night have not gone well and I was glad it was almost over. I couldn’t sleep after my unexpected two hour nap so my night and day hours were confused. I glanced over at my dog who was sleeping happily at the foot of my bed and I watched her breathe and smile in her sleep.  I look at her with love and feel love. My dog is the anti-cranky.

Sigh. Sometimes I Just Have To Have It…….

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Plinky Prompt: Have You Ever Considered Becoming A Vegetarian?
I have tried to become a vegetarian at different times in my life; mostly for health reasons. I hate to admit it but I’ve never made it further than a month, maybe two. I know there are vegetarians who eat chicken and fish, not sure if that really qualifies them as vegetarians. Sadly, every few months I get a severe hankering for a regular old cheeseburger, dripping with ketchup and my mouth just starts to dance. Not often, just once in a while but when I get that particular craving, one of those tofu burgers or veggie patties just doesn’t cut it. Sorry, cows.

Nooooooooooo

I did it. I admit it. I swore I wouldn’t. Lasted 3 days. I broke down. It’s the after Halloween candy bowl, left over from the kids. My daughter had lovingly slipped a package of Whoppers in my night stand table and I looked at her lovingly,  yet knowing my own strong will. My own strong will NOT. I know you are supposed to think about what you eat and why and what for and how come but it just snuck up on me. Ok, damn it, I wanted chocolate. And, it was a small sample pack. 3 measly whoppers but had there been more…….I know I could not have stopped. Even thought I have a torn ligament, I snuck down the stairs, for food because for the first time in a few days I was absolutely starving. I wanted to be a vegetarian so badly, but what could I do when my sister brought half a sub over to my house with love written all over it, and delicately sliced turkey and cheddar and mayo and lettuce on an extremely sesame filled sub. That started my down fall. Ah the slippery slope of food, and then while i was obsessing over whether or not I should have the platelet rich plasma needle stuck in my foot with a big long needle, by Dr. Voldemart (not his real name) I some how ended up downstairs AGAIN  finding my way to pasta, cheese sauce and broccoli. The key ingredient by the way was not the broccoli and I can’t even spell the damn vegetable.  I’m still hungry, I am taking deep breaths but if I were alone, there would be a pizza at my doorstep along with a (calcium rich) chocolate milk shake. Where did cool and collected Me go? Me? the one who was going to be a vegetarian (failed) eat only healthy food (failed) and drink lots of water (failed). So what’s bothering me? I think it’s me.

This is Ridiculous

Nov. 2nd pm

I finally get this on a “real, working blog” and I’m scared to death. “I have writer’s block” I say to myself but even I know that is utter and total bullshit. It’s fear. I’m not sure of what though. It is hard for me to even write now, my stomach is clenched but I am trying not to care. Trying to push past it all and keep writing. It doesn’t take Freud to understand that this is no coincidence. Vulnerability? Ridicule? AH, or NO response. Hmm, writing for myself was effortless, I guess i should only concentrate on that. AND, it is a blog, my blog to talk or kvetch or gossip or share anything I want. I will not give up. But I may throw up.

I told my daughter, who is a vegetarian, that I will no longer eat Jello…I never knew what went IN to Jello and now that I know, it’s off my list. It’s interesting that I haven’t eaten meat for about a week and i don’t miss it (yet.) So I am not claiming one thing or another just yet but eating good, healthy, food.  Tonight (I so love food) I had lentil soup, some veggie pizza (ok, yes there was cheese but I’m NOT a vegan to be at all. Had a craving for dried apricots( at least it’s not for 2 bowls of ice cream with caramel and chocolate sauce, whipped cream and almonds) instead I had grapes and tasteless raspberries and blackberries. Why did I go into that much detail about my fantasy dessert? Definitely not a wise thing to do…yum, I love food, most all food (except for fish) and I’m trying to lose some weight. I know, Oprah said it’s a “lifestyle change” and as much as I love and adore Oprah, that Texas fair would not be on Bob Green’s list (not that we trust HIM anymore ). Fried butter? Really? UGH, i thought until Oprah described it like a delicate roll with butter. Oh dear Lord, that does sound like heaven. I love the fact that both Gayle and Oprah would not budge with their dessert winners!  I’m with Oprah on this one, lemon cake!  As a Libra that is my life. I can’t decide between one or two things, I buy them both or not at all. It’s not easy being a sensitive Libra but we really are nice people. Decision making? Not so good!