Plinky Prompt: Seasons Changing

Autumn Colours (Fall Colors) – Red Tree (Photo credit: dbrooker1)

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  Fall Colors (Photo credit: msn678)

  

• For many of us the seasons are changing, bouncing unpredictably between cold and warm. Are you glad to be moving into a new season, or wishing for one more week of the old? See all answers

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• October 27, 2013 by hibernationnow

• Mid-season replacement

• Are you kidding me? One more week of the old? Try NEVER MOVING OUT OF THE OLD, but I will take one more week if that’s all I can get. I hate the cold winters, the chill goes through my bones and is trapped there.
  I have always hated the cold weather but having a chronic illness, Fibromyalgia, makes my bones stiffen and hurt, trapped in place.
  In my fantasy, I am wearing just a long-sleeved pink cotton shirt, jeans and sneakers. No jackets, no scarves, no mittens or boots. The leaves are full and multicolored and glowing in the afternoon sun. I feel comfortably warm, my head turned to the sun, I’m smiling.

• photo credit (wikipedia) to above mentioned photographers
• msn678 and dbbrooker1)

Maybe “Safe” Is A Better Word Than “Stuck”

English: The Mother Orange Tree, the oldest living orange tree in Northern California. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I often refer to my husband and myself as Empty Nesters, stuck between two worlds. We still live in the home where we raised our children,  paying outrageous school taxes even though both kids are in college. My mother and sister both live nearby and my husband’s parents live close by as well. But, I know, deep inside, this is not where I want to end up for the rest of our lives.  I’m sure you have heard the term  “The Sandwich Generation” before, it defines us as it does most of the aging “Baby Boomers.” I shudder when I even think of the term “Aging Boomers.” Us? Really?

I have wanted to move to the West Cost for a long time since I was a kid and my dad mentioned he had a possible job interview in California. For someone who is not good with change, I was so excited about the prospect.  I imagined a little white house and garden with bright red flowers on the boarders, an orange tree in the back yard and a red dog named Rusty.

Here, in the Northeast the weather is too cold and I’ve always hated cold weather. For those of you who enjoy the cold and love its sparkling freshness, enjoy it. For all you skiers out there, have a great time racing down those sleek, icy hills, I would be in the chalet drinking hot chocolate with whipped cream anyway. The cold weather makes me hurt all over in general and  living with the chronic pain illness, Fibromyalgia, the cold, bone-chilling weather makes my bones and muscles hurt even more. There is nothing I can do about that except accept it.

I admit, I used to feel closed in not knowing when and where we would move in the future but now it feels alright, in fact it feels safe. Chaos will surely occur if there is any major change and for someone like me, change is always hard. For me, ” A Good Change” is an oxymoron. For little things, I need 24-48 hours to get used to change that is even mildly disturbing, imagine a huge change? The mere thought of moving away from my sister and mother brings tears to my eyes. My children will come visit when they can, it is their turn to live now. So maybe being “stuck” is not so bad, maybe being stuck is just being “safe.” If I look at it that way,  I’m doing alright. Actually, pretty good. I’m enjoying nature in the suburbs, the sweet red cardinals chirping in the trees, the changing of the leaves, the different seasons. Change will happen by itself, there are things we can’t control, health, employment, our children moving away, us moving away, sickness, death. Life brings us one change after another, so right now where we are “stuck” is really a time to rest and appreciate. Whatever comes next, will be very, very different; we will get used to it in time but it won’t be easy to call that place home with all the pieces in the puzzle fitting right into place for a long time. I’m just going to appreciate what I have now, not look backwards and not look forwards, be in the present. Sounds good, right? I’m trying the best that I can.

a drawing of a 4 piece jigsaw puzzle (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Plinky: What was the best thing of your day, yesterday?

• What’s the best thing that happened to you yesterday? See all answers

• Edit answer |
• August 1, 2012 by hibernationnow

• Yesterday…all my troubles seemed so far away.
• It’s The Little Things In Life
  lavender I bought a small lavender plant at the giant grocery store. It was sitting outside with its brothers and sisters. Some were larger with strands lifting straight to the sky. The one I bought was not the tiniest, but it was a small plant that seemed to look at me with a wink and smile. I bought THAT lavender plant and yesterday, all by myself, dug a small hole and planted it in my front yard. It seemed so appreciative to have been selected and after it was replanted I took the special pink watering can and sprayed the roots, to make the ground wet and mushy and muddy-fresh. I had dirt under my fingernails, the sunshine on my back and it felt wonderful.
  Gardening is not a great big deal for most people, but for people with Fibromyalgia and chronic pain, it felt like I had just won the Olympics. I didn’t ask my husband or son for help, I tried to do it on my own. And indeed, in my very own small world, I got the gold medal.

Birthday Sunshine

 

Image via Wikipedia

 

Today is my 54th birthday and while I have never been ashamed of my age it’s still new to my lips and tongue. It also means I have to change the Hibernationnow home page because there it says I’m 53.  I had no expectations for today, even though I dearly love birthdays. This year, however,  with so much on my mind, with so many questions left unanswered, so much uncertainty: unemployment, health issues, etc. I woke up not with excitement but with a small, soft smile.  I slept until 9:20 am, went downstairs for a giant birthday bear hug from my husband and an extra-strong cup of coffee.

I got morning birthday calls from my mother and my sister which is a family tradition but I still thought of the annual red rose that my father used to give me every year on my birthday when he was alive.  For once, I did not need a “sign” or a “message” from him because even though he died 8 years ago, I knew that I was still in his heart and he in mine. Maybe being a year older brought me some much needed wisdom.

I went out to lunch with my friend Sarah at our favorite diner and we laughed and shared stories and commiserated about colleges for our seniors. Before we left she handed me my gift, a gift that I would have picked out for myself (and almost did). A beautiful silver star fish on a chain that made me gasp with happiness and surprise. It was a piece of the beach and the ocean that I dearly love, now wrapped around my neck.

I took my dog, Callie, for a birthday walk, just my sweet canine girl and me. We walked under the gorgeous sunshine,  the red and yellow leaves blazing on the trees. The air was warm and smelled like pumpkins and I relished the 75 degree weather birthday treat. When my kids and husband came home there were hugs and kisses, gifts and happy voices, mine being the happiest of all. I opened presents from my son, my daughter and my husband and cards and well wishes from so many friends. I felt truly blessed; I am truly blessed.

The day ended with a surprise delivery of flowers from an old, lost friend, and dinner consisting of  filet mignon, a chopped salad and pumpkin spice cake with ginger mousse for dessert. Even though I am 54 I  was happy and excited that the waitress brought it over singing “Happy Birthday” with a candle  to blow out and a wish to keep in my heart.